Am I going to get the sack? AIBU?

[mumstheword1x]

I’m suffering with anxiety at the moment, last week I got given a pay rise by my manager, I was so happy. I thanked her on Friday over email for all her support and she never replied.

shes asked to speak to me tomorrow morning at 09:30, I said ‘of course, all ok?’ And she said ‘Yes all good’

she never asks me for a catch up like that, so I’m a lil confused. She normally just calls me on the day at the time randomly.

I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, although she’s a director and some drama kicked off at an Awayday, I wasn’t involved, I just found out and had to schedule calls for another manager. I’m a PA to 3 people and this one is my boss, the other manager told my boss today that I knew about it… although I was just scheduling calls and wasn’t involved & it was agreed the director didn’t need to know.

AIBU? Am I over thinking this?

You are definitely overthinking, if there was an incident at an away day they are perhaps getting everyone’s version of events. I highly doubt you would be given a pay rise if they were planning on letting you go etc.

do you really need a handhold through every aspect of your job? I find the level of immaturity completely puzzling.

You'd think when you know your role, your current projects/ clients and you know what your boss does, that's enough clue? Or you are so behind you need to prepare because you have no idea what you are actually supposed to be working on? Is it that? 😂

If you need the full details, then have the catch-up now, when it's really not convenient, instead of wasting time to plan and prepare minutes in advance.

I know people like you, I avoid the like the plague, they're draining (and not terribly useful 😂)

I get your anxiety, it's something I always feel anxious about an unexpected meeting at work, I think I'm just mentally preparing myself for bad news. But it doesn't sound as if you have done anything wrong.

This! I have to give mine advance notice of scheduling 1-1s stressing that they are regular catch ups otherwise I get 14 anxious "can I have a quick chat" messages in teams.

It’s probs about the incident but not that you are in trouble, prob just covering all bases.

At first I thought you’d overstepped but realise you are his EA so it was appropriate you asked him to respond to her request for a meeting.

OP I empathise. I can be rational in many areas of my life, but I too always fear losing my job. I think it's compounded by COL crisis and actually probably harks back to school days where 'a word' was always trouble!

Try to remember worrying won't change the outcome, and my best advice for any 'catch up' is to listen and let them do most of the talking. You can always follow up with an email if you feel there was something you should have said - but you can't take anything back!

Sounds like it’ll be related to the away day .

YA overthinking, but I’d be just the same!

I don't think this comes from a place of rationality. It's a thing, the thinking you are in trouble, I used to have it. Comes from being praised for being perfect, you think you can't ever do something "wrong" - well obvously more to it than that but it's quite a common thing - although op seems quite extreme.

OP I am in a position where I have a diary manager/PA. I don't see this as you getting involved at all. Sometimes my DM gets contacted before me. It sounds like drink angry colleague called you asking to meet with the manager she'd lost her rag with, you went to that manager to see if you should schedule the meeting (scheduling meetings being part of your job but the situation messing you didn't know if you should or not). They said yes, but don't tell director.

You've done nothing wrong but the manager has put you in a difficult position.
In your director's shoes (I am a similar level) I would firstly want to know what you know, also ask who told you not to report it and not to tell directors, because as much as angry colleague is massively in the wrong and needs dealing with, the manager shouldn't be sweeping things under the carpet. In your director's position is be thinking as inappropriate as the delivery was, was there some truth in what the staff member was saying about the manager, and is that why they are trying to hush it up.

I'd also be advising you if the appropriate company policy conduct/whistle blowing etc and reassuring you that whatever your direct line manager says is something like this happens you can and should always report it.

I also suffer with anxiety and would probably overthink this too OP.......but to an outsider who is also very anxious, I really don't think this is anything to worry about. As others have said, I think your manager probably just wants to catch up with you, see what you know about the situation and maybe tell you to keep it quiet. I really don't see this being anything relating to you from what you've said.

I’m not able to sleep because I’m so nervous :(

This is why I always say to my colleagues “can we have a quick catch up about xyz “. Then no one worries!

I recognise your username. You’ve been worried about WW3, hantavirus and now losing your job. Have you sought help for your anxiety?

Well, unless something happened in the following week.

That said, I agree this is overthinking.

I've never heard of a person getting a pay rise one day and being sacked the next. She probably just wants to check you are ok about incident.

Logically its about that then?

Awhh I get like this over unsettling things too. It’s very likely nothing 😊
I can get myself into a real tizz over the unknown, and I run a successful business and deal with problems all day long 😂 I think some people just really struggle with not knowing what’s coming . and that’s okay.
What I always try to remind myself is…. whatever it is, you will deal with it and be fine. Your brain is probably just going off on one 😂 I get a lot of self worth from my job and even a small criticism can really affect me

Try and do some breathing exercises before bed. The box breathing method is really good
4 seconds in
4 hold
4 out
4 hold
It helps calm your nervous system down a bit.
Good luck for tomorrow &I’ll be checking back for an update. You sound very capable and grounded, and I’m sure everything will be okay x

I think you should delete this whole thread. If the details posted are true then colleagues will recognise you.

Hi. If its a big company I think they would have an HR Representative there as well if anything untoward. Honestly I wldnt worry but I understand

I’m sure it’s nothing

I was a manager in a massive uk insurance company. If it was anything serious they would tell you and allow you to bring a representative. Plus hr would be involved.

It's very very difficult to sack someone in the UK. Plus there are all sorts procedures to go through.

We had something similar when I was working there. One of our managers got physically into a fight with someone from another company at an event. He was offered the chance to resign or be demoted...he resigned. But it was done by the book in a proper manner with hr fully involved.

You are going to be ok

If that’s how your staff are reacting to catch ups, that sounds like a you problem. It’s not normal.

I hope for your sake that your manager isn’t scrolling through Mumsnet. If they see your thread they will think it sounds very familiar to what’s going on in the workplace.

I recognise the "massive insurance company " bit. You posted something similar not that long ago, I remember because I also work for a massive insurance company, looks like you didn't get sacked then.
Maybe get some help for your anxiety or find another job if the atmosphere is so toxic you think you'll be sacked for no valid reason.
And do come back and tell us what this quick catch up was actually about.

I work for a massive insurance company. We don’t sack people. Like ever. I remember my boss trying to get rid of someone who was (1) no good at his job (2) a total slacker & (3) really unpleasant to be around. After 6 months of total nightmare (for my boss) carefully
following the procedure the bloke went off sick with stress and my boss was told he had to start the whole thing again. He gave up at that point.

But you know this! Your colleague squared up to a manager in a pub and they are sending them for counselling. They are not
sacking. Whatever you have done (that you
can’t think of) it is going to be less bad than squaring up to a manager in the bad.