Am I going to get the sack? AIBU?

[mumstheword1x]

I’m suffering with anxiety at the moment, last week I got given a pay rise by my manager, I was so happy. I thanked her on Friday over email for all her support and she never replied.

shes asked to speak to me tomorrow morning at 09:30, I said ‘of course, all ok?’ And she said ‘Yes all good’

she never asks me for a catch up like that, so I’m a lil confused. She normally just calls me on the day at the time randomly.

I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, although she’s a director and some drama kicked off at an Awayday, I wasn’t involved, I just found out and had to schedule calls for another manager. I’m a PA to 3 people and this one is my boss, the other manager told my boss today that I knew about it… although I was just scheduling calls and wasn’t involved & it was agreed the director didn’t need to know.

AIBU? Am I over thinking this?

I spoke to the manager who she did this too and asked he called her back due to how distraught she was. All was ok, until today- when the manager said ‘I’ve told the director, just because of how out of control it got with her emotions and we’ve referred her on to some therapy as she has a lot going on at home, I said you knew and helped arrange meetings etc ’

If I was your boss I would have had a chat immediately and asked you to not get involved. An incident where an employee 'squares up' to another and slags them off is almost certainly a disciplinary incident and not for you to be interfering and asking the other manager (the victim!) to call your friend and pacify them. I would have said that any issues and need for therapy is confidential and for whoever looks after welfare to deal with, not managers chatting and involving colleagues.

So my guess is she is going to ask you to stay well out of it for anything not strictly included on your role JD.

But sacked?
No.

If you were given a pay rise are they going to give you more work/responsibilities?

I know someone who was sacked here in the UK without any warning or process having been followed. So yes it can happen but OP from what you have said you may just be told to stay out of HR issues.

Knowing about something and actually witnessing it, are two different things. I doubt you are in trouble, more likely they want to pick your brains because all the Director presumably has is what the Manager told them

You are anxious anyway and this rumination will continue until you get an answer.

You can't be doing much wrong if you have got a payrise can you, as these tend to come after performance reviews.

You'll be fine. A boss can't sack you without a huge hullaballo, and a landlord can't get rid of you if you were not paying rent. Welcome to England!

They would refer to this in my place of work as "closing the circle" - making sure everyone involved in the drunk colleague incident has the appropriate information, and no more, is briefed on confidentiality, and, if necessary, is aware that they may be contacted about disciplinary proceedings and not to panic about that.

Just go along, don't over share re colleague but okay to say they contacted you feeling remorseful. If your friend hasn't been sacked for being drunk and abusive in a work setting, what could they possibly have on you that you wouldn't know about?

So there was some kind of misdemeanour or fall out at an away day that didn't involve you, but you were aware that it occurred?

Either way you're a PA and can't control how people behave on away days. The issue wasn't caused by an error you made was it?

If you know you've done nothing wrong and I fail to see why they'd suddenly sack you days after giving you a pay rise?

I mean legally they'd need a solid reason for dismissal and if it's not gross misconduct or similar you'd need several warnings before it got that far. And that's if you'd actually done anything bad. Which presumably you haven't.

It's probably fine and is covering her bases in case there is unspoken resentment within her team, but be careful. 'Quick', or 'informal chats' are never informal in a certain context. Everything is documented, so watch what you say.

Why would you even think that? It’s likely a catch up and nothing negative

And the moral of this story is never get drunk at a work event. Ever.

No, OP, you are not facing the sack. Your drunken colleague may well be heading for a spot of bother though.

They can't just sack you like that. They have to go through the whole disaplinary hearing. Warnings etc, unless you've committed gross misconduct re stealing etc. Sounds like she's just stressed to me. You're all good I reckon.

I've seen it twice.Borth a long time ago.
Summary dismissal for
-punching another colleague (was an arse hole before too)
-stealing whole side of salmon from hotel kitchen (ongoing organised theft)

I'm sure you haven't done anything like that OP?

Get help for your anxiety?

Anxiety is an evolved survival response - you're highly evolved op

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/doctors-favour-explaining-anxiety-to-patients-as-a-human-evolution-success-story

OP you’ve had a string of threads absolutely catastrophising all sorts. Including a prior one this year where were you also convinced you were going to get the sack for a minor error.

Please get medical help for your anxiety.

That's given her something else to worry about!

It will likely be due to the upset colleague. Sounds like the manager has dealt with it appropriately but your Director is the senior in charge so is likely to request that you are discreet and not discuss it with other colleagues, and reassure you that they will support said colleague.

BUT

If your colleague was drunk and emotional when they called you then I would be careful what you say in case they have previous form for this and mgmt are looking for a way to exit them. You weren't there, you didn't witness anything [both true], you simply asked the relevant manager to contact them, rearranged some meetings and stepped back. Avoid giving any personal opinions about them or their state of mind or and explicitly don't state what they said to you verbatim.

The other scenario is that the pay rise is coming with some strings you don't know about yet and you are going to be asked to do something extra like support a 4th person, organise the summer party or something else.

If I was your manager, I’d be making it clear that you were out of order getting involved between the colleague and her manager. You weren't a witness so your information is heresay and you shouldn’t have interfered.

However, none of that is a sackable offence.

I always advised any new staff that they must always act totally professionally if they’re at a works event, even if it’s meant to be relaxing evening out. Never let your guard down and never risk getting even slightly tipsy, let alone paralytic when on a works do.

Interesting! It's still a rather unpleasant way to exist every day.

How long have you been there? If over two years they can’t just sack you on a whim. Have you done anything that warrants a sacking without prior warnings?

There is absolutely nothing at all to indicate you are going to get the sack. You have a pay rise and you manager has told you all is good.

However, putting juicy gossip details about your work colleagues like you have, including confidential details, as well as stating your industry, which means that people who know you or your colleagues may think ' Hey that's about that bust up between Dave and Kevin! That must be Kate who wrote that OP' is extremely unwise and could get you in serious trouble if it gets back to management. So ironically, writing a post worrying about getting sacked could actually lead to you getting disciplined, and maybe sacked, who knows.

If I were you I would ask MNHQ to delete this thread because of that.

I think some people treat Mumsnet like its some sort of private chat when its a completely public forum anyone in the world could read. Never post anything you aren't prepared to get back to the people you are posting about is a good rule of thumb.

Something to do with the payrise, a small change in duties perhaps? Doesn't sound anything to worry about.

I reckon it could be a quick catch up then. Chill.

This was my thought.

It was a bit strange that you as someone who wasn’t even there was acting as a sort of mediator between the person who got drunk and acted abusively, and the person who got abused?

It should have gone through official channels not had some random colleague acting as go between.

So the worst case might be they tell you not to get involved next time. But I don’t think you’ll be sacked.

It pisses me off when the reason for a "quick catch up" isn't given. Even the least anxious person would have a little niggle of worry about it. It's not difficult to give a brief description of what it's about, and keeps people on an even keel. I've managed to instill this across management where I work.