To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

[Spiderbug]

There seems to be a substantial group of people who are ok with calling teen mums a waste of their tax money but then leave child bearing too late and expect the tax payers to foot the bill for their multiple ivf cycles which costs the tax payer up to 100 million a year.

Hypocrites!!!

I agree.

And generally parents of children conceived via ivf make a real effort to parent responsibly, which is what society needs more than volume of births.

Yes and people making callous comments comparing it to cosmetic surgery shows a disgusting lack of empathy. Wanting bigger boobs or whatever isn’t the same as the pain of longing to become a mother and not being able to.

Medically it is.

No it isn’t . As pp has stated infertility is classified as a disease. Are you a mother ? Anyone who makes bitter comments like these ones I’ve outlined must clearly be unhappy with their own choices in life alone the way. There is no other reason for a cruel vendetta against women longing to be mothers.

Where I grew up it was a path many actually chose because there was no career paths and they didn't want to leave. And you'll note that I said ANY AGE because it's not all about teen mums. Except in your mind.

Medical necessity is defined based on many, many factors. Including mental and emotional wellbeing.

"I want bigger boobs" would not be rated the same medical necessity as "it's giving me depression trying to conceive a child naturally".

You're showing your lack of knowledge.

"The same age a lot of older mothers are still studying at uni on a student loan they will never pay back" is literally dripping in resentment. It's a silly snap back a 15 year old would come out with. Sounds like someone is bitter they didn't get to go to uni and have a successful career because of their life choices, you already said these women do the same crappy job you do for £12 and hour so you clearly haven't claimed the ranks. You sound very unhappy.

No nerves touched here, I had my child at a responsible age after making a good career and a stable home to raise them in. Your lack of empathy is disgusting and just shines a light on how bitter you are. I'm not the one ranting into the void taking joy in other people's misfortune because I'm so angry so I don't know why you think you're touching nerves. Just like I don't know why you can't understand that teen mums cost the state a lot more than a single round of IVF which is all you get on the NHS anyway.

So I can’t say I know women who judge teen mums while having tax payer funded ivf because that’s an anecdote but you’re talking about wherever impoverished place you grew up like it has any bearing on the rest of the country. I know a lot of mothers of all ages and none of them had their children just for benefits.

You can’t get on nhs over 39 -definitely most areas if not all. Most also only do 1 or 2 rounds before you have to go private.

I am happy I know a lot of people who went to university and got in loads of debt and amounted to nothing and say they wished they’d never gone. I really don’t think I’m missing anything lol. I enjoy my job I work with people who had children in their 20s and 30s not everyone who waits till a respectable age becomes a lawyer. No where have I took joy in anyone’s misfortune either you’re just trying to twist what I say

And I mentioned uni students because their student loan is from the government and a lot of them don’t pay it back, so I’m supposed to feel bad for claiming benefits for a few years at the same age other people are wasting their time and the taxpayers money studying a career they never even go into.

You know the vast majority of IV in the UK is paid for privately right? In London 80% is privately funded.

What? Have you even read the ICB policies for who can access ivf? In my area it’s one round. For those under 40. No previous ivf fertility treatment. No children on either side. Don’t even get me started on the criteria for same sex couples. To get on the list you need to have been trying for at least a year, have then had other tests to rule out issues that could be the cause and could be fixed before ivf is even an option. So these are not people waiting until they’re too old. You’ve been reading about celebrities too much.

Yep. Definitely jealous of other people's opportunities, otherwise you wouldn't be revelling in their failure so much.

There’s so many types of cosmetic surgery though. A person with a massive facial scar, or a port wine birthmark, or loose skin from weight loss, or damage from burns or from cancer or from dog bites or car accidents or a violent crime. I agree some fertility treatment should be accessible on the NHS but I don’t agree with your trivialising others’ pain just because you think yours is worse. And then you talk about empathy!

If social services were handing out newborns (who'd experienced a healthy pre-birth environment) I'd have adopted rather than have IVF.

They are not. It is not the same as in the past, largely because society now supports young single mums rather than whisk their babies away for adoption ...

Opportunities to do what? Have you not heard about the unemployment crisis among graduates? Struggling to find even a minimum wage job.

Im happy. I have family, a nice home live in a nice town and have a decent job. Things hard to come by in 2026. You can disbelieve this and psychoanalyse it if you want I’m just pointing out a double standard

Surely if children’s services were ‘handing out’ babies from safe and healthy homes you’d have more reservations, not fewer?

It's great that you are happy and have a good life. You do still seem to have some hang ups about how you were treated as a teen mum though, which could be worth dealing with.

Yeh but I don’t think that people with such issues should have to pay either . In Ireland we don’t pay for that type of cosmetic surgery either . I didn’t realise those things weren’t free in the uk. How awful.

Yeh clearly you are completely satisfied and happy with your life choices with no regrets or bitterness towards anyone else at all… lol

Like I said disbelieve and psychoanalyse all you want but I’m happy with my life. I just don’t like how I was treated as a young mother and how other young mothers are probably still being treated now by people who can’t see they’re raging hypocrites.

You are obviously one of the hypocrites described and that’s why you feel personally attacked maybe?🤔 I mean you’re the one making the personal attacks here calling my job crappy. You are rattled

You know absolutely nothing about my life or what I've had to struggle with. I'm not a young mum, for starters.

Again, you still haven't answered: what do you think of people who leave it until the last minute to revise for an exam, and then resent people who get good grades because they'd been studying for weeks or months?

But you are attacking women who are desperate for a kid - yep there is lots of hypocrisy here and its coming from you. You are comparing two totally different things

um one of my best friends was a teen mum. She’s an amazing person and studied really hard part time and is higher educated than any of the rest of us in our group and was always a fabulous mum. I didn’t say anything about your job being crappy and I don’t judge teen mums . You on the other hand I do judge for reasons other than what age you became a mother . Because you have a bee in your bonnet and are spouting out nasty hateful comments here that are actually what I would call abnormal. Seriously grow up. No one actually gives a shit about your nice job and house