To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

[Spiderbug]

There seems to be a substantial group of people who are ok with calling teen mums a waste of their tax money but then leave child bearing too late and expect the tax payers to foot the bill for their multiple ivf cycles which costs the tax payer up to 100 million a year.

Hypocrites!!!

Fucking hell, the bitterness is just dripping from your posts.

Go outside and touch grass.

I’ll say the same to you as I said to my opinionated overweight, heart disease riddled high cholesterol male colleague banging on about how outraged he was, that ‘he’ should pay for ‘my ivf’ (self funded btw) via the nhs, whilst he was shovelling sausage rolls and samosas down his big gullet during working hours (when his loving wife had prepared a heart healthy lunch for him) … why on earth should I be forced to pay for your many medications and surgical procedures when you, yourself aren’t helping your own condition?
Soon wound his neck in.
For the record, it’s a postcode lottery, you have to fit certain very anal criterial and often donate your eggs in return for ‘free nhs’ treatment. Typically even then it’s 1 round AFTER IUI (which often the medical teams know won’t work) so unnecessary expense there as well.
educate yourself a little more before being quite so outraged.
im an older mum due to circumstance & medical conditions that prevented natural conception.
i had to save money to pay for IVF and every test, several private prescription charges for many months in between.
I traded my eggs for treatment for my son. Still cost me £2k for donor sperm and medication and over £6k for my second child. Had it not worked 1st time for my 2nd child I simply wouldn’t have her.

Your situation is entirely different. You have a medical need. You're not 42 and wanting a baby because the love of your life didn't arrive until your fertility window closed. IVF isn't a luxury for you.

The 1980s wants its rants back - the level of teenage pregnancy has dropped massively. Now it's just benefits claimants, of whatever age, who get all the approbium.

I think there needs to be a national conversation about whether we "really" need (a lot) more children and therefore if we do things like fund IVF and give people benefits for more than two children, that sort of thing. People have views eg about climate change and needing carers for an aging population at each end of the debate, but there needs to be proper evidence and discussion.

Yeah good one!
Firstly, you've got all your facts wrong as its age limited, plus I believe you dont get endless rounds, possibly only one 'free' go and its a postcode lottery at best.
Also I order to qualify you need to have multiple losses or been through years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive before you actually get to see a specialist! I'm sure every older woman envisaged trying to conceive a child would be best done through physically exhausting and mentally destroying rounds of chemical hormones.....

OK I’ll bite.
That’s funny because I know a teen mum who has paid nothing into the system as they’ve never worked and now they and their child are being funded by benefits which will cost tens of thousands more than a round of ivf. So because I know a person who fits this criteria I guess it applies to all teenage mums by your logic?

For the record the NHS don’t pay for multiple rounds of IVF, the cut off age for NHS funded IVF is 40 and you must have had years of infertility or an illness (eg. Cancer) that has caused the infertility issues.

I know women who couldn't conceive in their TWENTIES and it turned out to be egg quality.

It's not all to do with age. Infertility is a crazy beast that could be thrown at anyone. Someone could have always had issues but not find out til they TTC in their mid/late twenties, and by the time they've realised they need to investigate, go through it and land on IVF as their way forward, THEN they're in their thirties.

And do you know what? If your weight is affecting your physical or mental health and you have tried and tried and tried to sort it but it's not happening for you, then YES have the jabs on the NHS.

I agree with this . I don’t think older parents are better parents just cos they have more “wisdom”. Some awful parents out there regardless of age

Should they not have waited until the right person came along? Should they have just had a child with any man who happened to be there at their "prime" age regardless of that man's suitability to be a partner and father?

I take this thread as OP trying to get mumsnet to agree we shouldn't judge teen moms too harshly.

At 15 I’d never even had a sip of wine, my work colleagues who’ve done ivf earn just over £12 an hour haven’t been to university and all party a lot. They’re in the their mid thirties.

The idea that every older mother is a lawyer or teacher is nonsense anyway

Yeh and that’s why there is an age limit on ivf. Because most women can still get pregnant before 40 naturally . Thats why they don’t pay when you reach a certain age.

I agree. Society is heavily in denial about ageing. I've known women who seem genuinely stunned that they can't conceive in their late thirties because "I've already got two kids, I know I can get pregnant." You can't get pregnant anymore because you've aged, FFS. It's biology. It's happened to every generation that's ever lived. It's not a sign that something's wrong, it's the opposite.

I am not bullshitting. I have never heard this ever. I knew a teen mum who was in school with me. Her kids are adults now, she's married to their dad, they've had wonderful lives, good jobs, great opportunities through sport and she's got a good career doing what she loves too.

I was in uni with a teen mum who lived at home while she studied with her mum helping look after the baby while she had lectured because she joined a society that I was involved with. She completed her degree and got a good job and was never a drain on anyone.

No, I am not bullshitting.

But all teen mum's are just like you, right?

On here. You just called other mums’ children a ‘mistake’ as you disapproved of their ages at birth.

I think some of the bitter posts are from people who did exactly what you have described and regretted it to be honest.

Most areas will only fund one ivf cycle plus they will also have an age cut off of 40 so I very much doubt there are any 'older' women having multiple nhs funded ivf cycles .Hope this clarifies things for you

Yes but decline and an exhausted supply are two entirely different things.

So the gist of this thread is we all cost a fortune regardless of age/class/health status and shouldn’t have kids 😆 sounds about right

as a mum myself, I agree. Bloody kids bankrupt you 😂

I disagree these women you speak of must be living under a rock . I’m nearly in my 40s but even in my late teens was already aware there is a limit on when women can get pregnant . It gets drummed into you from a very young age .

If you mean the bitter posts are from people justifying in their own mind why they are now co-parenting with entirely unsuitable fathers, I agree with you.

I struggle to see the benefit to the child in that.

Christ, it’s not a luxury lifestyle choice to want one kid. Most Women at that age who have successful pregnancies via ivf have usually privately funded because nhs provision is so dire.

It’s all just baseless argument. You could argue that I should have started trying at 22 instead of 32 before I lost a tube, and then I wouldn’t have needed ivf, but how can you know?

My bad luck with a health condition is someone else’s bad luck at not finding the right partner until they’re older, by your argument we’re all just baby making machines who should procreate with whatever sperm is available before we’re 30.

The nhs is not in financial difficulty because of ivf funding.

We have more options now. There's been advancements in medicine and science that means we don't have to either choose between motherhood or building a life for ourselves. We can do both. If we want.

I think people who didn't have those options are mad that people can now make choices.