To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

[Spiderbug]

There seems to be a substantial group of people who are ok with calling teen mums a waste of their tax money but then leave child bearing too late and expect the tax payers to foot the bill for their multiple ivf cycles which costs the tax payer up to 100 million a year.

Hypocrites!!!

The nice holiday comment shows a shocking lack of empathy I have to say all the same . Perhaps this woman shouldn’t have kids but she’s just another person to add to the pile of people who should never have had kids naturally in the first place that the taxpayer is funding .

I agree actually. Don't leave having a baby until your very late 30s/40s and then wonder why you can't get pregnant.

If you've had long-term fertility issues fair enough. But if you've just let your fertile years wane, that's on you.

And all this 'but I was waiting for the right man' or 'I was establishing my career' crap... It's biology. Reproduce when you're of child bearing age. Not middle age. And if you DO leave it too late, pay for it yourself.

But the state didn’t actively enable those women to get pregnant did they? It’s totally different. If a woman gets pregnant naturally you can’t stop her. If she’s asking for £££ of fertility treatment while being unable to provide for any resulting babies that is a state issue

Ignore them it’s just totally goady nonsense.

this thread is being used by people to just fart out ignorant, ill thought out, ill informed views, I suspect at least partially to be deliberately provocative because they get a perverse kick out of knowing they have wound someone up.

So how do you suggest people who want to get pregnant earlier but haven’t been in a relationship with anyone suitable get pregnant ? Sperm donors ?

But if you've left it until 40 to have a baby, it isn't fertility. It's peri menopause and you've just missed your fertile years.

If you want a child and there is no man, yes. Sperm donor.

It just shocked me, that someone didn't know anything about IVF but declared "weird kids" like they glowed in the dark or something! But yes goady nonsense

yeh well regardless of this woman’s situation I don’t see why infertile people who are suitable parents should not be helped by the state .

I agree with this financial assessment.

Added to which, the IVF mum's claim is - for argument's sake - subtracted from her tax paid over the years NOT funded by other taxpayers.

But for me the reason I would not be encouraging a family member into a teen pregnancy is I just feel the wisdom and stability of older parenting far, far outweighs any statistics about health of the baby or the inability of the parents to enrich the baby's life by still being fit enough to run a marathon!

The statistics are often skewed (see my post above) and while risks are higher as parents age, most still remain very low, and it isn't as though some younger parents don't have unhealthy pregnancies as well to factor against that. Sperm quality can be affected by things like alcohol - and it is far easier to coax a would-be dad in his mid 30's into a bit of a dry spell than an 18 year old dad! So I do think the whole older parent thing generates way too much faux concern.

Literally no-one is able to tell when they have ‘run out of viable eggs’ without intervention, which generally comes in the form of fertility treatment. So if people are delaying, it’s never ‘deliberately until they run out of viable eggs’. It’s difficult to engage with your post because it’s just bonkers.

sorry but I have to say your comment is absolutely ridiculous . So everyone who hadn’t met men by 30 should be rushing out getting sperm donors ? Lol

But then these silly people would complain about single mothers.

The idea of these mum's "leaving it" til whenever is ridiculous. They aren't all actively putting it off. But they're also not just hopping into a lifelong commitment with any man that comes along, they're waiting for someone who is worth tying themselves to forever.

Looking at a LOT of the posts on MN, more women should be doing that. It would prevent an awful lot of pain for an awful lot of people.

Because you mature and evolve and the fun doesn’t last forever. You wait until you are established financially. Now I’m in my forties I don’t still have the urge to have wild nights out which I wanted in my twenties.

And yeah, my late teens and twenties were about university, career, travel, earning money, dating, sexual freedom. That appealed to me during my twenties. Marriage and babies appealed in my thirties when I was getting too old for the other stuff.

I know people say there is not perfect age, but let’s face it, it isn’t in your teens.

But this is a false binary. It isn’t wild, partying 18 year old OR 40 year old university academic with healthy lifestyle. The 40 something mums I know range from professional and stable to single, chaotic and very mentally ill.

you don’t even have a clue what you are talking about , do you even know what peri menopause is ? Not every woman who cannot get pregnant at 40 is in peri menopause. In fact it’s usually egg quality that is the main issue . Some people don’t go into peri menopause until much later than 40

You’ve never heard anyone call teen mums a tax drain? Well good for you if you’re not bullshitting. I’ve heard it said a lot

Couldn't agree more.

A child is far better with a dad who gets a bit puffed playing chase than plenty of the situations children grow up in because their parents rushed into procreation without a stable background.

it is in no way the same as a cosmetic treatment.
I am needing IVF due to a health condition that resulted in the loss of fallopian tube.
I'm paying for the ivf privately as nhs provision is so dire I’ll be far older and it’ll have less chance of working by the time I get to the top of the waiting list.
if the nhs stopped offering ivf, it would gain them back 0.1% of their annual budget.
missed routine appointments cost the nhs more than this each year (£1billion vs £77 million) - I think we can allow people one nhs funded chance at having one child?

I know. IVF is not routinely available either, the pp drew the comparison presumably hoping to highlight that all IVF is a luxury, like all cosmetic surgery. I was pointing out that they were wrong.

I know that most health authorities offer very limited ivf on the NHS and when we were on the waiting list there was an age limit. Over 40 and the answer was no.

Where is this substantial group of late 30s women who are making these offensive generalizing statements?

It's common knowledge that women's fertility declines after 35. You'd have to be living under a rock not to have heard this.

But whatever reason it is, egg quality, peri, dropping fertility, it's your AGE. It isn't infertility. Leave it late. Pay for your IVF unless there was already a known problem.

It's like me wanting weight loss jabs on the NHS. No!