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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?

173 replies

cocoonme · 18/05/2026 19:43

I don’t have much to add. I’ve booked myself into a nice beach club in the French Riviera in the summer, but I’m plus size and feel a little bit like I should just cancel the reservation.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
watchingthishtread · 18/05/2026 23:08

I mean this in the nicest possible way - no one is looking at you.

What would I think about seeing you? Nothing at all. Like everyone else, I've got my own shit going on.

For the love of God didn't cancel your holiday. Go. Have a blast. You deserve it.

MrsSchadenfreude · 18/05/2026 23:11

Don’t cancel! But next year can I recommend Lake Balaton, for a lake full of similarly sized women?

SorryNotSorry00 · 18/05/2026 23:14

cocoonme · 18/05/2026 20:05

This is what I’m stuck on - I don’t know what to wear. I’ll have to get public transport there and back so it needs to be suitable for that

Why not just put a light dress over your bikini or some kind of light cover up when on transport, something that you can remove easily. I’m a size 18 and wouldn’t let my size stop me from going anywhere or doing anything I felt like trying out.

A great alternative is a kimono cardigan, that you can wear open if you’re feeling self conscious at the resort and take off as you please. Shein should have some great options and check the reviews too.

I’m sure you will see people of all shapes and sizes there wearing whatever they please -as they should! Don’t forget it suits the wearer, not the stater 😉 and enjoy yourself

Anxietyxxx · 18/05/2026 23:24

When you stop caring what others think you start living.

Mayflower282 · 18/05/2026 23:27

You will look like one of those multimillionaires that don’t give a toss what anyone thinks! 👌 you will be fabulous ❤️

AlmostAJillSandwich · 18/05/2026 23:30

Your body does all the same things anyone else theres body does. It doesn't do anything shocking or unpleasant that a slimmer persons body doesn't do. You will have your breasts and genitals covered, infact i bet anything you are dressed much more modestly than some will be. There is nothing obscene or unacceptable about having more flesh than another person. An arm is an arm etc, regardless of the size.

I hope you have an amazing time, you deserve it!

MyCottageGarden · 18/05/2026 23:34

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 18/05/2026 22:51

I am nearly 50, and in my nearly 50 years on earth, I have realised that most people don’t notice most of what goes on around them.
Please go and have a wonderful time!

Ohhhhh if only this was true! It may be true for you but as per my previous post, I can ASSURE you that it’s not the case for plus sized women!!!!! I’ve experienced 41 years of it! (Well, I’ve only been plus sized since I was 19 but you get my point).

NoGarlic · 19/05/2026 01:39

Dunno if these might cheer you up, OP. Brazilians on the beaches of Rio. Being there completely reset my idea of a beach body 😎 You know we're always hearing how beautiful Brazilian people are? Well, they are - and it's got nothing to do with being slim, toned or 'perfect'. They just love being outside in the sun, and what makes them beautiful is their sheer enjoyment. That's all!

Have a lovely time!

To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?
To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?
To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?
To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?
To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?
Elise90 · 19/05/2026 01:48

I wouldn't think anything of it at all. Please don't miss out on your trip, you have absolutely every right to be there, treat yourself a nice new swimsuit and beach wear and have a fantastic time! 💐

ilovesooty · 19/05/2026 02:16

I'm not going to offer advice but I hope you manage to go and have a lovely time.

Topseyt123 · 19/05/2026 02:29

I honestly wouldn't even bat an eyelid at this. I doubt I would even notice.

Don't cancel. Go. Enjoy yourself.

Missey85 · 19/05/2026 04:51

I'd think nothing of it their just enjoying themselves like everyone else 😊❤️❤️❤️

ItsNotMeEither · 19/05/2026 06:35

cocoonme · 18/05/2026 20:25

I’ve gone from a size 32 to a 16-18 and I think my issue is my body just doesn’t look how I expected it to. I still have the apron belly and I feel like it’ll never go

No wonder you're feeling proud of yourself! So you should!

As for the apron belly, that much loose skin won't disappear on its own, you'll need skin removal surgery. If you have a weight loss specialist, ask them for a referral.

I lost over 50kg and I'm shorter than you. I lost weight for my health, it was never about how I looked, so I also felt strange about everything about my new body. I went to see a surgeon, thinking he would tell me to go away and come back when I lost more weight. He didn't! He was amazingly kind and caring, explained why a simple tummy tuck wouldn't be right for me. He could see abs under everything, where I could only see flab. I ended up with a 360 lower body lift and muscle repair. My body still has some weird bits and some wobbly bits. Many would go back, but what I had done already was enough for me. Most importantly, my health is good.

That said, if you want to go to the Beach Club, do it! Yes, there will be plenty of model types and influencers there, but I bet there will also be people larger than a size 16-18 too. A nice, flowy cover us while you eat would be my advice. All of us pop out or spread a bit in the middle while sitting eating, but really, you do you, go and have fun!

MyLimeGuide · 19/05/2026 06:52

Isittimeformynapyet · 18/05/2026 23:00

We don't all have to be "gorgeous"!

You're taking #bekind to silly extremes.

HA! Speak for yourself

lljkk · 19/05/2026 07:03

honestly OP I'd be thinking
"How TF did I end up here? I totally don't belong!"
Probably like most ppl, I wouldn't think beyond myself.

Maybe you could wear high heels and a skimpy pokadot bikini to the bar to help yourself be noticeable? If you like attracting attention, I mean.

Johnogroats · 19/05/2026 07:04

Go and enjoy yourself. Lots of positivity here. However as someone who’s lost weight recently I’d recommend exercise…. It makes a difference. I’m looking forward to my summer holiday more this year than I was last year because I’m happier in my own skin. Definitely not perfect or body beautiful (mid 50s, cellulite, lumpy legs) but a bit toned and an improvement on the past.

QuintadosMalvados · 19/05/2026 07:14

MrsPinkSky · 18/05/2026 19:49

Strange thread.

Do you think we're all going to say YES, YOU MUST CANCEL NOW!

😳

Just go and enjoy yourself, afterall, that's why you booked it.

Agree.
You're only going to get positive replies along the lines of 'go for it, girl' because anything that's derogatory will be removed.

I don't have any opinion on it, however, this sort of seeking validation (not advice) from strangers confuses me.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/05/2026 07:16

7in1Pond · 18/05/2026 19:49

Why on earth would you cancel it? You're a customer who has booked a holiday, not a ring girl hired for other people to look at. You're the subject not the object.

This is a great answer.

I did wonder why you would cancel tbh as I have never been told these things have a size limit.

Go and enjoy yourself!

AppleTheStoolasMom · 19/05/2026 07:21

To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?”

I wouldn’t feel anything, I don’t know you and I’m there to relax.

Have you been to an upmarket beach club? It’s not like Love Island, it’s full of all shapes and sizes, people with scars, varicose veins, beer bellies, some with arty fully body tattoos and some with shit ones, tall, short, fat, thin.

It’s rare to find someone who loves every party of their body, so most people are feeling conscious about something.

Go early, ground yourself and take ownership of your space, you deserve to be there.

Gettingbysomehow · 19/05/2026 07:23

I wouldnt care at all. I used to live in Mauritius and there were loads of bikini and budgie smuggling plus size people on the beach who did not care one bit.
You cant let your weight stop you living or you will waste your whole life.

nomoremsniceperson · 19/05/2026 07:24

Dear OP, I'm sorry you feel like this. I was a compulsive eater in my twenties and I know how it feels to just really hate your body and feel uncomfortable and want to hide from everyone.

It would be so sad for you to not do something nice for yourself because of feeling like you don't belong because of your size. Your body is primarily for you to enjoy, it isn't a piece of decoration for the rest of society. But I know that some people can be cruel.

Have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy for disordered eating? It helped me a lot - both with eating normally, and with having kinder thoughts towards myself and my body. Maybe it could help you. I used a self-help book and went to see a CBT counsellor once a week to discuss my feelings, thoughts, realisations and the general process of changing my thought patterns. She gave me tasks and worksheets too. It was life-changing. Happy to talk about it more with you if you want.

lulujuju · 19/05/2026 07:24

I really feel for your OP, I think some of the other posters are well meaning but clueless about what it’s like.
Can you live with the wasted money if you go and don’t feel comfortable and then leave?

survivingoutofspite · 19/05/2026 07:25

cocoonme · 18/05/2026 19:43

I don’t have much to add. I’ve booked myself into a nice beach club in the French Riviera in the summer, but I’m plus size and feel a little bit like I should just cancel the reservation.

Go and and enjoy yourself

clickyteeclick · 19/05/2026 07:31

Oh this is heartbreaking to hear.
Of course you belong. I’d say 99% of women panic about how they’ll look in swimwear in public so they’ll be too worried about their own bodies to be concentrating on yours. Even the slimmest of people have their body hang ups.
Can you start to follow Instagram accounts of women with similar body shapes who are body accepting to give you a boost? Works really well for me.
And if it’s the not knowing what to wear do you have the funds for a personal stylist? They will guide you how to dress fur your body and find you outfits perfect for you. It will give you what appears to be a hugely needed boost of confidence. I think your shape sounds gorgeous x

Pinkgorilla101 · 19/05/2026 07:33

Bless you - you could be me. At my heaviest I was a size 32 and 26 stone. Absolutely hated my body. Had a gastric band and went down to 10 stone. Still hated my body. Had the skin removed and went to a size 8. Still hated it. Just felt I didn’t know how to dress or wear make up as it was something I had never done as I felt that being fat was so unattractive nothing could make it better.
Had to have the gastric band removed after 16 years and put weight on. I am now a size 16. I don’t know if it’s age (I am now 51) but I have never felt better. I think you get a certain amount of confidence the older you get.
You have done bloody amazing with your weight loss. The health benefits will be enormous. Wear the bikini, use a sarong if you must and have the best time ever. You deserve it

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