To ask how you would feel about seeing a plus size woman at a fairly market beach club?

[cocoonme]

I don’t have much to add. I’ve booked myself into a nice beach club in the French Riviera in the summer, but I’m plus size and feel a little bit like I should just cancel the reservation.

It really is all about confidence if you feel good and are enjoying yourself then people will see that, if you feel awkward and self conscious people will see that. Will the odd person judge you? Perhaps but really no matter how much a person judges you it is only really an extension of how they treat themselves which is usually much worse so all you can do is have pity on them.

I felt really sad reading this. It’s awful that this is your experience and I can’t believe that some people think this is okay. Your post really gives perspective to how and why the OP may feel like she does.

This is awful, I’m so sorry ❤️‍🩹 I’ve experienced the same things and it really grinds you down

Kindly op, we live in a world where people are obsessed…..with themselves. No one is going to be looking at you. They are all too busy worrying about what they look like. And, if they are looking at you? That is not your problem, it’s theirs!
Go to the beach club, order and eat whatever you like, wear whatever you feel comfortable in, be that a thong or maxi dress.
If you want to go, bloody go and give no fucks about what anyone else might think.
The best thing you can wear? Confidence. And if you have to fake it, so be it. Fake it, and eventually, you’ll feel it. You deserve to go wherever you want.

Bloomchic sell some beautiful swimwear/sarong/skirts combinations, very flattering.

You could wear a very glam kaftan and big hat and big sunglasses and look fab. Maybe some statement jewellery. Think Elizabeth Taylor.

This sounds shallow, but things like getting your hair and nails done, getting brows and lashes done, can really help in feeling more put together overall.

Sorry I know you didn’t post in style and beauty- but here’s some ideas (from yes ChatGPT)

I think black is the safest colour. As it’s slimming, more classy than bright colours, you’re able to blend in better.

Swimwear:

https://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/p/ya695?optionSize=44D&utm_source=chatgpt.com

https://bhoo.mobi/14otHf31qi

https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/xy135

Coverup:

https://www.curvewow.com/products/curvewow-plain-maxi-beach-kaftan-black?variant=55554811986301&currency=GBP&utm_source=chatgpt.com

https://www.boohoo.com/product/boohoo-plus-stripe-chiffon-beach-trouser-set_gzz87665?colour=black&size=26&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19971251936&gbraid=0AAAAADlwhrUaRuzWjsjod16n23eck67z2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvNCprd7DlAMVn6NQBh1WbSMSEAQYAiABEgJNUPD_BwE

https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/xy863

And for accessories, I’d do some nice sunglasses, simple gold jewellery, maybe a chunky bangle and some earrings? A black or nude coloured sun hat? A nice beach bag.

I also agree having your nails done makes you feel so much better.

But honestly, don’t cancel this event. Use it as an opportunity to experiment with styles and to some gain some self love and self confidence.

Which beach club are you heading to?

I’m the same size as you and wear a bikini, i choose one that covers my belly and good support top, then throw a dress over for travelling. When in some places I even swim naked, so freeing. If you are lacking body confidence i really recommend Germany as it’s quite common to be completely unclothed and they aren’t skinny, it helps build self esteem realising your body is normal

When you’re there, just remember you’ll never see any of those people again. They just don’t matter in your life. Just focus on yourself and your enjoyment and not on what you think others are thinking.

And definitely eat and drink. You’re on holiday!

honestly?

Sport. Irrelevant of weight and size, when you start focusing on performance and you have the support of your team (doesn't matter if you play team sports or individuals), and when you tone up in the process, you gain all the confidence you need, because you start focusing on the right things.

It doesn't happen overnight, but sport, any sport.

I’ve been to a couple of beach clubs on the Med and there are people of all shapes and sizes having a lively time and no one gave a damn about anyone else. Enjoy your lovely beach day x

I am ‘plus size’ by all accounts and it wouldn’t even occur to be to think about this. You should see all the different body types sunbathing topless in Europe. While I can’t say that beach clubs are my scene, on the normal beaches, European women are definitely not covering up just because they’re large.

I wouldn't think twice!
Have a brilliant time and if your more worrying about outfits im sure people on here can help xxxx

Agree with this. You should start strength training (basically lifting weights). Highly recommended for any woman over 40 to age healthily as you lose muscle, but the mind benefits are amazing. It will teach you to love your body. And interestingly, larger women are much stronger than thin ones (I say this as a fairly thin person), so you may surprise yourself at how much you can lift. I started a year ago (I am 49), having always hated gyms, and I love it. But don't do it on your own, join a class or get a personal trainer (I do small group personal training).

In terms of the beach club thing - of course you should go, wear a black swimsuit, a decent cover up, get nails etc done - and I would say, if you can afford it, get a fake tan done. That also helps with body confidence. In that kind of place, people tend to be very bronzed!
And honestly, people will not give a toss about you. The only people one looks at are the very attractive ones - I often can't take my eyes off the beautiful young things in their twenties. Everyone else - part of the furniture. Which is great for you!

I am nearly 50, and in my nearly 50 years on earth, I have realised that most people don’t notice most of what goes on around them.
Please go and have a wonderful time!

I get you OP - I’m 56, menopausal and gained a lot of belly weight- nothing fits me and everything looks shit - I’m also a short arse and have the body of a Shetland pony

but I spent my 20’s anorexic and refuse to fall completely down that hole again

so I try and accept it - remember I’m luck to be alive and google images of Jennifer Tilly! Ffs I hate that I hate my perfectly normal and functioning body but I fake it - one day I’ll like it

I, like most people, wouldn't notice, I've far too much going on 🤷‍♀️ go enjoy yourself.

And yes PLEASE go and have a lovely cold glass of fizz xxx

100% this. Sport, any sport, does wonders for self esteem. It makes you view your body as a machine and in terms of what it can do, not what it looks like. Try open water swimming, many people tend to be on the bigger side because they manage in colder water better than slimmer people. You’ll soon realise that no one cares what anyone looks like in swimsuits.
Weight lifting is also a good sport, it makes you feel great about yourself.

We don't all have to be "gorgeous"!

You're taking #bekind to silly extremes.

I have never been thin (usually a 14 to a 16 UK size) and consider I’m doing all the skinny Minnie’s a favour because they look even thinner next to me. Don’t give it a thought and you might find you’re the most popular person there…..genuine enjoyment is potently attractive …..take it from a non skinny who knows. And if you can’t believe that then stuff it…you’ve paid the same as them so get your money’s worth at the very least. And it’s possible you’re rather gorgeous and don’t see it as so many woman fail to appreciate…stop worrying……my strong legs carry me miles, my arthritic hands nursed my DH, my ample bosom soothes my children….its all there for you to use and enjoy.

I'd notice if you were smiling because I'd think you looked happy and would probably be fun to talk to.
If you looked sad I'd feel sorry that you weren't enjoying your holiday.
I wouldn't care about your size or how you were dressed.
Have a great holiday!

You will feel really sad and regretful at the end of your life if you look back and think of all the things you missed out on because you thought you were the wrong size.
If I’m unsure of something I always imagine how I will feel about it in the last few hours of my life.
Enjoy the holiday. x