AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

[hesbelleth]

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

No, he doesn’t have to. If his mum felt that strongly, she’d have made a will.

So according to them their mother wanted them to have a third each of her portion of the estate. That’s about 15% each. But the parents died when your husband was young and left everything to him. So, she didn’t leave her older children anything, her husband may have been the main earner in the family, and this was done years ago. I’m afraid I think it’s a bit late for the siblings to demand anything, especially having failed to be there for him when he was young.

Need @hesbelleth to clarify:
-how they know this was the mother’s wishea
-the time frame between DH inheriting and siblings claiming their share.

I blame the parents.
Get a Will checked by a solicitor. Update it whenever there is major life change.

Oh and presumably they’ve inherited from their Dad if they are retirement age.

"...and not my sister"

Or, more accurately in this case, the biological children of my adoptive mother who hid the fact from me that I was adopted.

And is there any record of what was in the DM’s estate - only the value or the original estate should be part of the claim, not that of the final estate that the DF had (who is the biological father to the DH and step father to the siblings).

It is upto him. However, I do think he should split what was left from his mother with his siblings.
This is why you need to do paperwork and not trust anyone. Especilly if you're in a blended family.

DH should keep 50% that came from his dad.

He should keep 33% of the half that came from his mum. It's what she wanted.

That he's prepared to lose the only living family he has (or are they not family to him because he's adopted?) over 330k - when to you 1m isn't an enormous amount - tells a person everything they need to know about your DH. His explanation of them not needing the money because xyz just confirms it.

Wicked, that he should ignore his mother's wishes just because she can. His half-siblings' reactions ought to haunt him if he goes through with his plan.

Morally he should. and I would be taking a good hard look at the relationship if he didn’t bearing in mind he knows his mothers wishes

i would also make sure that your wills are watertight so he can’t get his hands on your half

I'd find it hard to stay with someone who would go against their mother's wishes and keep all the money for himself. It's greedy, selfish and immoral. Obviously the law says its his but could the siblings take him to court?

I've been in a vaguely similar situation recently. My parent died with no cash in the estate. The only thing left was a property that she and I were joint owners of, and which automatically became mine in total, when she died.
I recently sold the property and I gave my brother (who obviously didn't have an inheritance) a fair proportion of the proceeds.

I'll admit that it feels quite weird handing over such a large amount of money (though the proceeds from the house was a small fraction of OP's DH's inheritance) but there was no way I was going to see my brother empty handed, while I gained. It's made a huge difference to him and his wife and it feels really good.

So yes, I think it would be really shitty of your DH not to give a share to his step siblings.

I’m beginning to think this is made up.
DHs mother and father died when he was in his ‘late 20s’
He discovered he was adopted by his father after they’d died.
He has 2 much older brothers.
They’ve recently said they want their ‘share’ of their mother’s estate’
Mother didn’t make a will expressing this.
OP thinks he should give them their ‘share’.
Whats happened to the ‘small flat in Kensington’?
OP hasn’t answered any of our questions and it’s her first post.

Your husband is a horrible person if he doesn't share this money with his Mum's other two children.

I can't imagine betraying my mother this way.

His mother should have said in her will that her estate should be split this way. It's just nonsense saying that's what she wanted as she made no attempt to ensure that happened.

Agree with this split. Morally it’s the right thing to do.

Sometimes our spouses need us to remind them the right thing to do when they’ve lost sight of what matters. I disagree with posters suggesting it’s completely up to OP’s DH- yes, technically it is, but OP should make her views clear.

If her husband keeps the whole inheritance he’s a selfish greedy man, and if it was my husband. I’d be reconsidering his values and wondering how he would treat me and our children if it no longer benefitted him to treat us fairly.

Did his mum leave the instructions in her will? My mum willed her half of my parents to my sister & myself in trust but my dad could live their till his death. When my dad died he willed everything 3 ways to my sister, his daughter from his first marriage & myself. We had our mum's will & the property was split only half of the bungalow was split 3 ways so our half sister received about 17% of the sale. If their is a predating will from his mum he may not have a say & his siblings have a legit legal claim

Wicked, that he should ignore his mother's wishes just because she can

What stopped his mother making a will leaving a share to her children?

Did her estate go through probate and what was it worth?

I absolutely 100% agree that her children should get 1/3 each of her estate, but if the Kensington flat was the dad's and not part of her estate, it is a red herring.

Either way, you can express how you feel, but he has to decide and live with the consequences of his decision.

Who knows? Does it matter? Are all mother-child relationships to be based on written contracts? Or on trust, love, respect, honour?

So neither her husband nor her son give a shit about what she wanted.

Make sure your will is watertight OP, if you want any of your money to go to anyone else because now you know that your husband won’t honour your wishes.

I could never look at him the same way again if he didn't respect his mother's wishes. 'She should have made a will' - well, or she should be able to have had faith that her son isn't a little prick.

In what world is 1 million an enormous sum? I had more than that in my trust fund and I am not exaclty the most well off within my social circle.

In my family, from experience, saying it would be how you ensure it happens. As people behave respectfully towards their dead parents' wishes and honour their wishes even when they are not legally compelled to.

I don't think I'd want to be married to a man who will not share an inheritance from his adoptive mother with her two biological children.

Unless there is more to this than we know.,