AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

[hesbelleth]

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

It’s nothing to do with the relationship. He knows what his mum’s wishes were and is going against them. It’s disrespectful to her memory and completely lacking a moral compass.

What a revolting take. To call an adopted child a cuckoo and suggest they deserve less than biological children. In the eyes of the law, adoption makes you a child of the family, an equal to any biological children. And the implication that someone has ripped up the mum's will is completely unfounded.

I don't disagree that something should have gone to the mum's first two children, but it needed to be based on the valuation of her estate when she died, not the final combined value.

If she really had those wishes she’d have made a will.

You can’t tell him what to do.

His dad was the one who should have followed his wife’s wishes if anyone and he chose not to. Your husband doesn’t want to give them money and I agree with him. It was on his dad, not him. If he had a close relationship with them, I’d think differently, but he doesn’t.

His mum clearly didn’t feel very strongly about it as she would have ensured it happened.

Now his dad’s wishes are the ones that matter. He obviously wanted his son to have everything.

We don’t know that she didn’t since OP hasn’t come back. My wishes are very clear in my mirror will but if I die first there’s nothing to stop my bloke rewriting his to cut my child out. Fortunately I know he’d never contemplate it.

Do you know how many wills get ripped up when someone dies? A huge percentage.

nice to think you think life is all goody-2 shoes, sadly it isnt

Adopted kids were excluded from inheritance BY LAW until recently. And in many countries adopted kids are STILL EXCLUDED from inheritance

It is still a revolting take to call an adopted child a cuckoo.
Some Muslim countries that follow Sharia law do not allow for full adoption, which creates a different set of legislation.
Meanwhile, in countries that do allow it, a child is equal once adopted.

If people keep their will with a solicitor it cannot just be ripped up. You are suggesting this man has done because for whatever reason you are opposed to adoption.

I would encourage your husband to keep it all. His dad wanted him to have it.

My wishes are very clear in my mirror will but if I die first there’s nothing to stop my bloke rewriting his to cut my child out.

Then you should see a solicitor about writing a new will that ensures that that can't happen. You say he would never do it, but circumstances might arise that mean there is nothing left to pass on to your child by the time he dies.

As the OP has steadfastly not returned to answer the questions of who and how mother's wishes were known I don't think anyone can say with certainty what her wishes were.

Did his mum's estate just pass to his dad? Was that just half of their joint money or was she independently wealthy? If it was all just the accumulated wealth from his mum and dad's life together, not sure the half siblings are entitled to any of it really. How much was her estate at the time of her death rather than the total estate now? What has happened to inheritances from the half siblings dad and possible step mum? I guess he either honours his mother's wishes or his dad's. If he chooses to do what his mother wanted I assume it could be £500k/3 each although his dad may have accumulated wealth after his wife's death as well which would be purely his dad's to give to his son.

He absolutely will cut your child out. It's a certainty. Give your kid the money now instead.

He won’t. My child is the executor of his will. And his children wouldn’t stand for it.

I'd be inclined to share the inheritance with them if I was him. However, I don't think people in their 50s are necessarily retiring soon, most likely 67 or 68 unless they are already well off or don't want to carry on working.

It’s the right thing to do, but so many people in similar situations don’t/ won’t.

My child is the executor of his will.

He can make a new will at any time and name a different executor.

If he were to remarry, an existing will would become invalid.

He may become unemployed or disabled or need care in later life and all his assets spent so there is nothing left to distribute on his death.

There shouldn't be any inheritance tax payable

He can make another will. You need to set up a trust, if you want your children to inherit, and don't want to leave it to them directly

By the same logic if that is what the mum wanted to happen with her estate then she could have made that happen as part of her estate in her will but she chose not to.

He won’t. And if he did his kids would reverse it. Because they’re decent human beings.

His kids could not reverse it if he left it to a new wife or the local cat's home, nor could they reverse it if he remarries and dies without making a new will. In those scenarios they would not have any standing to change the will, and your child would only be able to make an Inheritance Act claim if they are still dependent on him when he dies or in serious financial trouble when he dies. And, of course, your husband could spend everything on himself, leaving your child with nothing.

There are only two ways you can guarantee your child inherits:

• leave money directly to them
• leave your husband a life interest in your estate with it passing to your child when he dies

Anything else risks your child ending up with nothing.

I think I know my husband and my family. If he were to write a new will it would favour his kids. And they’d vary it before he was cold.

Its literally your funeral, but mum's net is full of people who "knew" their spouses and were wrong.