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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

454 replies

hesbelleth · 17/05/2026 18:17

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

OP posts:
Namechangedtohideidentity · 18/05/2026 20:29

VIII · 17/05/2026 18:21

Well he seems like a lovely bloke. His selfish attitude would give me the ick to be honest.

LTB!

NotThisRecordNotThisRecord · 18/05/2026 20:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

dibly · 18/05/2026 20:30

Absolutely he should. We’re in the same position as your husband’s half siblings. DH’s Mum died years ago, left everything to his Dad. He then remarried and had 3 more children, he died last year and apparently what is left will be split amongst the DH, his brother and the 3 other children- but it’s all gone very quiet and I doubt we’ll ever see a penny. It’s so morally wrong.

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:33

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:28

Is he blowing his money on hookers and coke?

Because ally cats is more fucking around rather than hoarding cash 😅

And cats famously take drugs and pay sex workers? FFS.
Money really does turn people into shit bags sometimes, imagine going against your DMs wishes and screwing over your siblings for some cash. I hope it’s worth the money to lose a relationship with siblings.

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:35

Namechangedtohideidentity · 18/05/2026 20:29

LTB!

At the very least get every financial transaction you ever have with him watertight. You know his priorities now, and while you might be fit this time you might be the victim next time he decides money is the most important thing.

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:35

PhaedraTwo · 18/05/2026 20:11

Houses are usually held as joint tenants and so the spouse will automatically inherit up the other’s death.

If you are in England and Wales. In Scotland, that's not the case. We have no concept of "joint tenants" where property is owned, not rented. There might be a survivorship destination but it's not always the case.

"In Scotland, that's not the case. We have no concept of "joint tenants" where property is owned, not rented. There might be a survivorship destination but it's not always the case."

You are mistaken. In Scotland, a 'survivorship destination' is the exact equivalent of owning a home as 'joint tenants' in England & Wales.

The Scottish equivalent of the English 'tenants in common' is sometimes, rather confusingly, referred to as 'joint tenants' or, more often,as 'pro indiviso'.

If a property in Scotland is held on a 'survivorship destination' basis then the deeds will typically include the phrase that the property is owned "equally between them and to the survivor of them".

In contrast, for a property that is owned on a 'pro indiviso' basis the deeds will typically say that the property is owned "equally between them and to their respective executors and assignees".

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:35

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:28

Is he blowing his money on hookers and coke?

Because ally cats is more fucking around rather than hoarding cash 😅

I don't think alley cats fuck each other over like this, though, figuratively speaking.

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:35

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:33

And cats famously take drugs and pay sex workers? FFS.
Money really does turn people into shit bags sometimes, imagine going against your DMs wishes and screwing over your siblings for some cash. I hope it’s worth the money to lose a relationship with siblings.

Op hasn’t been back to confirm there is proof of these suddenly all these years later being mums wishes.

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:37

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:35

I don't think alley cats fuck each other over like this, though, figuratively speaking.

I mean cats are not loyal at all. Are they. Eyeballing my own. 🤣

MaggieBsBoat · 18/05/2026 20:38

What a mean spirited little man your DH is.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:43

MaggieBsBoat · 18/05/2026 20:38

What a mean spirited little man your DH is.

Awfully mean spirited and conniving.

Sensiblesal · 18/05/2026 20:45

might just me me but I don’t see why DH would share the inheritance. I think he is right to keep it.

this is not his fault but Mum’s bad planning, she didn’t leave a will with her wishes. Also wouldn’t be that easy to tell what is mums and whats not at this point.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 18/05/2026 20:46

DisforDarkChocolate · 17/05/2026 18:22

I agree with you but it's his Mother's fault for not sorting this out with her will.

If it was me I'd give each sibling 1/6 because otherwise I'd feel awful.

This. She shouldn’t have made her Will to say that.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 18/05/2026 20:47

Totally up to him 🤷‍♀️ They clearly had the wrong type of will for a second marriage. If your mum wanted to ensure that your siblings got their share it would have to be a trust will (I believe it’s called), not a mirror will.

Back to the point, he can split if he wants but no legal obligation.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Sensiblesal · 18/05/2026 20:45

might just me me but I don’t see why DH would share the inheritance. I think he is right to keep it.

this is not his fault but Mum’s bad planning, she didn’t leave a will with her wishes. Also wouldn’t be that easy to tell what is mums and whats not at this point.

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:49

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

I wouldn’t share either.

Not without full proof of wishes and proof of non forged documentation of what she actually had to leave at death.

tachetastic · 18/05/2026 20:50

I can imagine that it must be hard for your DH to do what he sees as giving up what must be around 700k, including a flat in Kensington, @hesbelleth .

But it is the right thing to do. Saying that he has more use for 1m+ than they have for around 350k each just makes him look greedy. What right does he have to say what they would or should have a use for?

grumpygrape · 18/05/2026 20:51

A wish is only a wish until it’s embedded in Law.

People say all sorts of things but unless they make their thoughts/wishes/feelings/intentions, call them what you want, legal then nobody knows what they really meant.

'I'll remember you in my Will' is up there with 'the Cheque's in the post', 'of course I'll still respect you in the morning', etc.

Good click bait story though.

Ifallelsefails · 18/05/2026 20:51

Has the back story only come from DH or have the other 2 validated what was said at mother's death and then at father's death - how long ago did all this happen?

So mother had 2 children from a previous marriage and father didn't have any biological children - they were his step children? How old was DH when he was adopted? Does he know the story behind his adoption? Obviously only finding out he wasn't their child when father died must have been a shock - did the other 2 know or was it a shock to them too? What was the relationship like for DH growing up - were they close? All the questions are relative btw.

How long is it since father died? Maybe he left everything to DH because he was adopted and they hadn't told him.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 18/05/2026 20:53

If I'm honest, I'd be questioning how he would treat ME if we were to split up, if he did this.

WiseTealRaven · 18/05/2026 20:55

It wouldn't as there will be at least 200k in inheritance tax to pay out before its divided up.

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:57

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

Quite a few people have been saying the same thing. Do you think that everybody here saying the same thing is "the OP's hubby"?

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:58

WiseTealRaven · 18/05/2026 20:55

It wouldn't as there will be at least 200k in inheritance tax to pay out before its divided up.

Why?

WilfredsPies · 18/05/2026 20:59

His greed is repulsive. She was their mum too.

This is your warning that he absolutely will try to fuck you over if you ever get divorced.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 21:00

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:57

Quite a few people have been saying the same thing. Do you think that everybody here saying the same thing is "the OP's hubby"?

His grubby greediness is nauseating. I'm glad I don't know him.

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