AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

[hesbelleth]

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

There is no legal case though. legally it’s his.

Unless we are told where the 'information' of mother's wishes comes from, as she didn't make a Will to confirm them, there's no moral case either.

Well the good news is that you can give them their share.

File for divorce. Take 50% and you can redistribute.

Not if he keeps it separately from marital assets.

1+million isn't an enormous amount of money?? It's a huge amount, I've literally got less than £200 in my bank account for bills and a small shop. Alright for some to class over a million quid as not a lot of money!. I, however, do agree, and even though it's legally your Dh's money, it's the right thing to share with his siblings, doesn't matter if they are retired and have their own homes(which they prob worked hard for). If that was his mother's wish, then he should split it. He'd still be left with over 300 grand.

I would divide it in 2 and jeep half then mums part divided in 3 so roughly £166 000 but he needs to be careful as there will be tax implications .

He should stick with what the will says. If his mother had wanted the money to go to the three children she should have said so in her own will.

Sure, because historically women have always been in a position to protect their financial situation. How old, OP, was the mother - was she even the generation who could get a mortgage or a bank account without her husband’s say so?

So in answer to the original question, seeing as the OP isn't interracting, why should anyone care?

Or she could simply have trusted in her husband to enact her wishes in writing his Will. Fact is we can only guess why she didn’t make adequate provision for all 3 of her dc.

For me there’s a very clearly decent thing to do here and, if the op’s DH is justifying keeping his mitts on the lot, I’d understand the character of the man.

If you are in a second marriage and you want your (not husbands) kids to get something you HAVE TO PUT IT IN YOUR WILL. You cannot trust your husband to do it and not change their will after you’ve passed. It’s human nature to favour your biological offspring, and who knows how long it will be before your 2nd husband passes, anything can happen in that time

It was his mums wish to leave each of her 3 children a share, his dad wanted to leave his share solely to your DH…
Morally your DH should give his two siblings one sixth of the estate value each.

I hear this happening again and again when people remarry, the remaining spouse not respecting their deceased spouses wishes to their children from a prior marriage. Why on Earth don’t people leave their share to their children rather than to their current spouse is beyond me…
it’s really so unfair on the elder children and totally disrespectful to their mothers wishes.

Your husband saying no because they’re older and own their houses…. No doubt they’ve worked bloody hard to own their houses.. do they not have children that they may wish to help out? - his mothers grandchildren!

Your DH sounds very selfish and unkind

He sounds like a rat. I wouldn't be friends with a man like that.

Not as simple as that, if joint tenants, then property automatically goes to spouse.

The Act regarding mortgages you may be thinking of was over 50 years ago so she must have lived through most of that time.

Other more relevant Acts were 1922 and 1882 so women's property rights have been equal for quite a while.

That doesn’t change what the PP said. He is the father’s only child and one of 4 for the mother. He being adopted is irrelevant.

You're clutching at straws there. From 1975 it was illegal to refuse a bank account but I know from my own family plenty of women conducted their own finances - it didn't mean banks wouldn't or couldn't give accounts. .

The OP is obviously fictitious and I don't think OP has worked out the time line but hey let's go with it. Stepsibs are late 50s so let's say born in 1967ish.

Husband is much younger and didn't see them much so let's go with his being born in 1990. His parents died in his late 20s, so say 2018. We don't know how old Ma was. [why are sibs only raising this now?]

He is being greedy and needs to carry out his mum's wishes of her half of her biological children .

@NicewomanI read it differently. DH was adopted. He is not the biological child of either of his parents. His adoptive mother has biological children. It appears she had a mirror will with her 2nd husband which is not uncommon but made it clear to him that she wanted her biological children to inherit her share if she predeceased him. But her DH did not do this and left all assets including those of his now deceased wife to their adopted son and so disinherited her biological children against her wishes.

Cautionary tale - always make your wishes for your children explicit in a will so that your second husband/adoptive child/new wife/step DC/future DC ETC can’t rip them off after your death.

He’s being cruel if he knows his mum wanted it shared between them then that’s what he should do

Seriously, do you and the others getting exercised about this believe any of this is true?

It's mildly amusing and OP needs to work on some finer details (time line, how were Ma's wishes made known and why now?) but no one has been done out of their "inheritance"

No problem, Agatha Raisin..

My cousins did this to me when my Nan died. As my Dad died and there parents hadn’t all my cousins got the split of the house I didn’t. It’s like my dad never existed. It was so hurtful and my cousins refused I have never spoken to them. And I have never gotten over it. They all had enough to buy a house each. I live in a council house with no hope of ever owning my own home, of receiving an inheritance. That’s a massive inheritance.

Did you ever speak to a solicitor? I assume that her will was written like “split between my children” which means it should have gone to you since your dad pre-deceased her. Or did she write a will which mentioned her other children by name and just completely forgot about your dad?

How much is the mums 'half' - is that actually 50% of the the total estate?
If yes, he should DEFINITELY split that in 3, I can't believe he is even thinking about keeping it all. Very selfish considering he would be getting the £500k from his dads half plus the £133k!