AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

[hesbelleth]

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

Yes I’d forgotten that. I wonder if DH being adopted was significant in how things were bequeathed?

So is this a home that MIL and FIL bought together? It might be a little different if it was FILs before marriage, but his mum was very silly not to organise this in her own will. Even from a tax point of view it would make more sense surely, because wouldn't the stop children be paying more on inheritance left by a step dad, or money passed on from a step brother than on something passed down from their mum

That’s if mums half was even worth 500k back when she died.

It might have been 20k or 200k unless someone digs back though her personal bank account and checks how the property was owned. She might not have had much at all to will in the years she died before ops dad did.

Joint account automatically goes to the other named person on the account if I remember correctly. House likely again was automatically surviving partner as per the deeds.

That leaves her personal cash, investments and pension only.

True. It could be significantly less. For what its worth I would honor my mums wishes, appreciate he doesn't have to.

How do you know what a true wishes were? She may have said one thing publicly but told her DH something else or changed her mind.

Yanbu to give him your thoughts and remind him what his mum wanted.

But what a position to be put in. I imagine a lot of people's integrity goes out the window when they find themselves in this fairly common scenario.

I agree with you. He is going against his dead mothers wishes but this is why it is imperative to structure one’s affairs to avoid this happening. I am from a blended family and so a trust has been set up to avoid this situation.

I will say though - funerals and inheritances really bring out the worst in people. I don’t know any family that has avoided money fall outs over wills.

Same. I could never simply ignore my mom’s wishes.

Or she changed her mind.

I know I keep repeating myself but there is no use everyone talking about morals and DH being shitty when no-one actually knows what her final wishes were.

And I hope I annoy everyone enough that they write or update their Wills if not already done!

So essentially his mum left nothing to any of her children & his dad left it all to his only child?

So itsounds like his parents had a mirror will, if dad died first everything goes to his wife, if she died first everything goes to him. Unless the mum made a bequest for when she died, her assests pass to her husband and on his death to the named beneficiary, your husband. Thats the legality. He doesnt have to share but how long has his mum been dead? Have his half brothers been keeping only in touch to claim some estate. All seems odd. Wills don't have to be fair.

Yes it is a huge sum!

This is wonderful. My grandmother did something similar. Left money in her will to a daughter my grandfather had in a previous relationship (my grandfather left that daughter nothing.) There are some decent people.

I find it very strange that your DH doesn't care about what his mother's wishes were. Do you find him lacking in integrity generally?

His mum obviously trusted that the father and your DH would follow her wishes and personally I think he’s being really shitty not honouring those wishes.
Make sure you’re legally sound with anything to do with this untrustworthy man. You don’t want to be screwed over by him one day too.

Impossible for us to know who the decent people are in this scenario. It may be DH.

There maybe a million hypotheticals but I prefer to go on what OP has said.

Again, no one knows her wishes.

I am basing my comments on what OP has said.

Why? All you know is that someone said that the DM’s wishes were for her estate to be shared with the children. There is no legal basis.

My GM died and wanted some money to go the grandkids. It wasn’t a lot but dad’s 2 brothers refused as legally it was split between the 3 of them. So my parents paid the sums out of the third left to my dad.
my uncles were and are tight arses - for the sake of a few 100 each they ignored the dying wish of their own mother. Pathetic.

OP hasn’t said much at all. Only that the half siblings have, after what seems like a period of time, laid claim to some of the DM’s estate.

I’m going on what OP
said! And OP said the mother wanted that and why would she not????

I've heard it said that money doesn't change you but it just magnifies what's already there.