I really want to go home. I really really want to go home.

[JacknDiane]

But my home isn't there. The council have got someone else there. My parents lived there 50 odd years, then mum moved to sheltered housing. But the family home with the nice garden is what I miss. And mum pottering in the garden. Dad is dead so long I struggle to remember what he did. But mum comes back easier, shes dead nearly 15 years. I was a late baby, my siblings are so distant from me, I was always really an only child.
My kids now are grown and moved away. Not near me at all now. Im happy for them,they are leading a young 20 somethings life. As it should be. They were here today for 2 days but both gone back now. I haven't got any family apart from them and dh. Dh is good but he doesn't understand how I feel. His siblings are in this city, although he doesn't see them much, they are still here.
When my dcs leave I dont know when I'll see them again, they both have lots going on. Im glad for them. But I feel so bereft when they go. Ive had a lump in my throat all day. I mostly stayed home when they were small or worked around them. That's unpopular on here but it was what we all wanted. Ive got friends, a job, I keep busy. Im not sat here waiting for someone to knock on my door, I plan things and keep occupied.

But when the dcs have been here then they go, I just want to go home, to the house I grew up, with my mum and dad there. Them just pottering, watching telly, going a walk. Nothing exciting, just the foundation of my childhood and young adulthood. I just want mum to say its ok, you'll miss them but you'll see them soon. Just reassure me all is well. I know it is, but I haven't been reassured by my parents in at least 20 years. I looked after mum after dad died. I became her mum. Its just what happened.

I just want to go home and sit with them. And drink tea. Then come back here and get on with my life.

But I can't and its overwhelming sometimes.

Tone, meet Deaf. 🤦‍♀️

Aww this made me cry ! Lots of love xx

I could’ve wrote this ❤️ it’s not my childhood home I long for, it’s my Granny’s house. When everything was simpler, much more colourful, love was felt by all. Granny doing the gardening, aunt sorting the cuppas and dinner waiting for catchphrase to come on. It seemed like once my Granny died, the family ties died too. All of a sudden there was family fallouts, hatred and no more big happy gatherings.

I don’t even think going back for one day would cut it, it’s a feeling a long for a lot and I do regularly drive past her old house. It does make me happy to see how loved it is, how beautiful the garden still is and another Granny in the garden with the grandkids ❤️

There's a certain drama from the 1970s I watch when I feel like this. I'll probably watch it, or another one similar. Its funny but there used to be an area in debenhams I used to like, kind of near the back, upstairs, at the sales stuff. Like secluded a bit. For some odd reason it made me feel a bit of solice, I really dont know why. But its closed down now.
Ive got a good book on the go just now, I'll read that in bed. Its reading or watching certain TV programmes that comfort me.

I often have the same feelings as you. I lost my mum over 20 years ago and my dad 15 years ago, my son is only 15 though but there's many a time i want to just go home and feel that comfort. I live 3 hours away from my home town so sometimes I go onto rightmove and look at houses near my parents old house, you can look at the map and " walk the streets" , this always makes me feel better in a strange way!

I lost my mum in March, my childhood home will be going up for sale soon, we have lived as a family in this house for 53 years, I'm sure there will be some tears shed when we leave for the last time. The home I want to go back to is the one we lived in until I was 7, the terraced house where we lived 4 to a yard with an outside toilet at the bottom of the garden. I loved it there, everyone in the yard was called aunty or uncle, for my first 6 years of life I was the only child until my brother was born. My mum's best friend in the yard was as close to me as my mum & dad, she was a single lady who lived with her mum, they both looked after my mum & dad when they moved in as newly weds & were closer to us all than any blood family. I had certainty & a routine, my grandparents visited on Tuesday & Friday night's, I visited my aunty every morning before she went to work, she loved to take me out & always babysat if my mum & dad wanted to go out. I had been born with hip dysplasia & spent 6 months in a spica cast, it could have been a very lonely time for my mum as she was more or less housebound with me but everyone in the yard made sure that she was never on her own when my dad was at work, everyone in the whole block of houses came to visit or talked to my mum when she took me outside to wave to people on the buses or to the bridge to watch the trains, there was a real sense of community, weddings, christenings & funerals, everyone celebrated or mourned together. It broke my heart when we moved, it was only 1/4 of a mile up the hill but it might as well have been to another planet.

I pass my grandparents house daily. I have both my parents still alive but I wasn’t really raised by them. What wouldn’t give for a day with my gran and grandad having tea and toast and even choking on their cigarette smoke. Unfortunately that’s not reality though, we have to make a future for ourselves that remembers the past but has us excited about looking forward. Now is the time for you. Mae plans to see the world, start a new hobby, get a new job… the world really is your oyster now.

This brought tears to my eyes.
beautifully written, you convey the feeling so well. A feeling so many of us know. 😢

I've been feeling like this for a while now. Not that my childhood was great...

I occasionally get a "feeling" and i don't know how exactly to describe it.

I find that lately I watch a lot more ‘cosy/comfort’ type tv programmes that I find on Youtube, right from back in the 70s/80s. I’m currently getting through the Miss Marple series and am searching for others. Although there isn’t a physical nostalgic place I yearn for there’s definitely a mental/emotional one, a need for a simple, wholesome lifestyle.

Could I ask what drama?

This made me cry. I do know how you feel. I have been pining and yearning for the past, so much so lately. I think it's because of how horrible the world has become, these days - I yearn for a simple past, my grandparents, family, cousins, large gatherings for Sunday dinner, no social media, less pressure...the list could go on. I wish I could take my children&husband to that past, where it was happy, and stay there with them.

I've been feeling like this lately, but not for my childhood home (I'm actually in it at the moment, with my dad). I do miss my mum terribly and feel I didn't see her enough during her life. I actually have had the feeling for the house I lived in longest when married, my children's main home. I couldn't possibly have afforded to keep it on, but I really miss it. I think that they don't have a childhood home to go back to is part of it.

Getting used to change is just one of those things that we have to do unfortunately.

Ah OP, me too. What I’d give to go back for a week or two.

I have done this too.

Gone on Street view so I can have a look at what my Mum and Dads house was like years go. Before everything changed and the street changed.

I didn't have the idyllic life you had as a child but you've made me cry and I want to go home too...

Me too. I was watching TOTP 1982 recently and really wished I could go back to 1982 🙁

Me too. Not my real home, but some kind of home...

Oh OP. I’m so sorry. I’m quite young but grew up with lovely grandparents and great aunts and elderly church friends of my parents; all from an extraordinary generation, with beautiful big gardens, tea and cake or treats for children. They’re all gone now, and the homes and big gardens and values with them.

I miss that time, and I miss them. Sending you my condolences; your parents sound like thoroughly decent people. It’s completely normal to pine for them, and for your home.

You are so so lucky you had parents that reassured you, loved you and nurtured you! I can understand you miss them and you are yearning to spend more time with them! That’s so human and so loving and so normal!
I grew up in a household with a covert narcissist, manipulative mum who was emotionally unavailable, and an aggressive, physically abusive dad. It’s hard to even admit this, as I love both of them despite the way they were and are. I constantly yearn for what you had and I never had. I can understand you miss them but you so lucky to have had that unconditional love and support! Sending you hugs xoxox

Hi op.
huge hugs for you. I am blessed that I still have my lovely parents in the home I grew up in. I often feel quite down in the dumps about my life (see my username) but you have made me feel so appreciative of them and the time I have with them now, and the time my son has with them. Thank you for sharing xxx
ps when i was reading this you really did make me feel a similar way for my granny’s lovely ex council house and her garden and cozy kitchen. X

Don't give out your address there will be a queue to come and give you a hug and we will just hug each other while we wait.

You put this so beautifully. My son brought back an old 'ghetto blaster' from my Dad's garage and spent today cleaning it. The thing is older than me, purchased in the early 70s. Before it got relegated to the garage, it was a central part of family life. My son turned it on and I thought my Dad was the last person to turn it in and off and select that radio station before he died. I have been sobbing listening to Smoth FM this evening. They are obviously playing songs from my childhood and it is taking me back to that time. Currently it is 'Love life us up from where we belong' .

I 100% get you. I wonder if when we lose the busy time of our kids needing us we are taken back to that special time and place. The sadness and deep feelings would not be present if it had not been for these wonderful family members and the unspoken care and love and security they provided us with. I think we all yearn for those simple carefree years.

I understand op. I was just thinking how I miss how things were then I saw your post. Homesick for another time hits the nail on the head. My circumstances are different despite having a happy childhood I am nc with dsis and dm now in a care home as dsis has financially abused and coerced dm and has made it very difficult for me and my dc to see her. My childhood home was cleared by dsis when dm went into the home so it could be rented out I didn’t get things like the ornaments or jewellery I was given for my christening let alone any keepsakes. It’s on my mind at the moment not because I want dm house but dsis is now moving into it because despite helping herself to dm money and remortgaging dm house to spend on her own house her interest only mortgage is now up and she was relying on inheritance from dm to pay it
so I am homesick and missing the life and family I once had and have lost through no fault of mine or dc dsis initially cut me off when dm came to me about the missing money and because i refused to as at the time joint poa refused to do an equity release on dm house

@JacknDiane My parents were abusive, but I know what you mean about places. I miss TJHUGHES and the Kirkby town center, from my childhood and going to the greedy pig cafe with my Nan. My grandchildren are growing out of soft play, there's a sadness to it. I'm generally a onwards and upwards type of person, but I get regretful, now and again about a way of life gone. I'm going to start meditation again focusing on ageing and gratitude.

Totally agree with this, I think as your kids grow up you think more and more about your own childhood. Recently I’ve found myself yearning to go back in time to my childhood just for a bit and I feel bad that I didn’t appreciate it more at the time.

Now, you are the person to your children that your mother was to you. The person they come home to. The person who throws open the door, offering warmth, comfort and endless cups of tea. The person who they will look back on in 30, 40 years and say, I wish she was still around.

Such is the circle of life.