AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

[Hellosunshine92]

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

My children want to learn languages, travel the world and try different things before settling down and having a house. They will be able to do all that with a good education.

Spend it on yourself and enjoy it! I’d buy another bag. 😃

@Hellosunshine92

🤣 how could you not tell I was joking?!

that money was to left to YOU by YOUR grandmother. You spend it on what you want regardless of the fact that you are married/a mother/ renting. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a martyr!

Did Gran know you were working 3 jobs to stay afloat? Seems odd to leave most of her money to charity when her family is struggling

Very odd indeed.

I am not struggling.

Erm… your own words

“until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money”- a tiny bit of spare money, and no savings, is not great OP! Not for a family with children, literally nothing is more valuable than some financial security for all of you.

@Jellybunny98 and had to work 3 jobs

Yep.

It doesn’t take a “martyr” as PP suggested to think that the best thing to do with any money in OP’s position- £300, £3000 or more, is to keep it to give her family and kids some financial security. Having no emergency fund is not something any any responsible person would choose given the option

Some horrible, horrible (jealous) people on here.

Get your teeth fixed - 2k
Could you then stretch to a couple of decent fashion pieces? Maybe a piece of jewellery to remember your Grandmother?

I'm sorry for your loss.

Who on earth do you think is jealous of someone working 3 jobs just to stay afloat with no savings or emergency buffer?

yep people are not jealous..just trying to talk sense into @Hellosunshine92 tbh. But this is why some people are always broke. They think money is just there to be spent. There’s a balance. I certainly wouldn’t be spending it if I was OP.

Absolutely. It reminds me of the Shelter research done which showed that 45% of private renters could be just one missed paycheque away from homelessness, 1 in 2 private renters would not have enough savings to cover their rent for more than one month if they lost their job. An emergency fund is so so important, especially when you have children to think about. I genuinely can’t think of a single thing more important than building that bit of security.

Don’t be so ridiculous

If i was you, 2k on teeth rest into savings. 1k is a sensible start to any savings pot.

Yes spend it on yourself. Only occasionally do these little windfalls come our way, what’s wrong with spoiling yourself when they do. The only thing I would suggest is that everything you’ve listed isn’t really tangible - I’d spend a few hundred of it on something to remember your grandma by, a nice pair of earrings or something.

Get your teeth done & buy some new shoes. A couple of good pairs that are classic and will last. A decent winter coat in a classic style. A bottle of Chanel perfume so it reminds you of the bag. And I’d get a silver bangle made with a hidden message inside it that says “invest in yourself”. If I left my granddaughter a bag she didn’t ever want to use I’d want her to spend it on something that gave her the same feeling that bag gave me.. (and I’m not into handbags).

I don’t think that people are jealous, they just think that OP is being financially reckless

She has young kids, no house, no deposit, no savings and no emergency fund. Yet it sounds as though they still manage to find money for holidays. She now wants to blow this 3k on treating herself for working hard and gaining a qualification, which is something that most people do anyway (though usually before deciding to have children).

It’s entirely up to OP what she spends the money on, but she literally asks in her OP whether she is being unreasonable to spend it treating herself, and then she gets upset if anyone says yes! Many people wouldn’t blow this amount of money in her situation.

I’m very risk adverse, so I would put it towards house deposit. Who knows what the future holds, you may get ill and not able to work.

if you put it in a LISA account the government will top it up £1000
www.gov.uk/lifetime-isa

I think I might have kept the Chanel bag 🤣
No, seriously OP, get your teeth done for sure. I had mine done a few years ago and it makes such a difference to your self-esteem. £3k is not what it used to be.

You’ve said your granny did a lot for you including paying for your education.

We all have different backgrounds and attitudes about financial and other risks. Shaped by our upbringings and other things.

That’s your inheritance from your grandma I would save it. It’s yours not the rest of the family so I agree with you on that part.

when I had a small inheritance from my grandma I saved it up towards my deposit for my home. I had to save for years and go without, I think about twelve, but finally got a house in my 40s. My grandma would be very proud of me and I have some security finally and not being made to move all the time.

I also set some aside to help animals as my grandma would have wanted and rescued some kittens (as she did when I was a child). She would have loved them 💔

I agree. I have been homeless in the past and had to move many times. The moment i finally had my own house I felt a little safer. (See my previous post I saved a tiny inheritance from my grandma for years and it was used for my deposit).

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and if you want to spend it on the dentist and other things (and clearly your husband is supportive), then go for it.

People’s lives are not black and white. I had different qualifications before. I needed to gain extra qualification for my new career. House is not security . It is not even yours as it belongs to a bank who can also take it from you any time you cannot afford to pay mortgage. How is that a long time security?