To expect my son to let me know how his GCSEs are going?

[Youshouldbestrongerthanme]

Son is with his dad this week.
I asked him before he went back to please let me know how his exams were going.
Nothing since Tuesday.
Husband says this is just "typcial teenage behaviour" but I kind of disagree?
Also, if son was with me, I'd be gently encouraging him to message Dad to let him know all was good. Ex-husband would never do this the other way around, however.

Just let him get on with them - asking how they are going is to help him, not you. When it's on your week, or if you speak to him in the normal course of things, of course I would expect him to tell you how today's went, but he's got enough on his plate without having to give multiple people a running commentary.

I think it’s best to let him deal with it in the way he feels is best. Ds is doing his now and doesn’t want to talk about it so we dont. He knows I am here if he needs any help

I mean it is typical teenage behaviour. Annoying.

Why don't you just message him and ask?

@Sirzy I think I'd feel more like this if my son was living with us whilst he's doing them.

He probably doesn’t really want to talk about them when they’re done, doesn’t achieve anything does it.
You will know how he’s done in the summer!

In the nicest possible way though this isn’t about you and this is one time in his life he shouldn’t be trying to feel pressure for balancing things with divorced parents.

he is coping with it his way. He knows you are there for him and that should be enough.

Well if its like my teens

Ok is all u get

He's coping with his exams at the moment - he shouldn't have to manage your emotions as well. You're the adult so you should do that for yourself.

Is your son ignoring your messages? Or are you not messaging him? Not sure why he needs to update you when he’s not with you though really, he’s probably busy and stressed.

It's quite hard to talk about though, isn't it? Too confident and you worry you'll jinx it, too worried about it and then people extend the misery by talking about it.

I find my DD’s very receptive to messages but DS never ever checks them. You have to call him to get a reaction and sometimes that even fails so I end up playing find my on his phone if it’s urgent to get his attention! So yeah I’d say in my experience it’s typical of teenage boys… Even if you asked he’d probably just grunt.

I can’t a think out of mine!! If I gently press I get snarled at! Can’t win!!

You’ll know when he gets his results.

TBF, no one really knows for sure until the marks come back.

DD2 is in the midst of hers. I ask her each day and she mostly replies, 'fine'
If she feels it's gone well, she might tell me a bit more.

Leave him be.

I honestly don't think he probably knows. Unless there's something big like he missed most of the questions, or was too unwell to complete the exam, it's probably just a really hard thing to describe.

I understand that you're worried but they're under souch pressure they don't need any other thing to think about. We're purely support services at the moment. He'll appreciate it much more if you leave him free to deal with it as he feels is best.

Your DS is probably stressed already - don't give him another thing to have to think about.

@Isittimeformynapyet I assume your kids live with you? It's very different when they don't.

So instead of messaging your son and asked you are annoyed at your ex for not prompting him to let you know?

GCSE's mean your son is 15/16 and fully capable of writing that text if he wanted to. YABU.

You need to be more proactive and contact him to ask him. Not just wait for him to tell you

This is what I was going to say. Teens will be teens unfortunately!

He probably doesn’t need the added pressure of having to give a progress report right now.

Edit - but also I think it’s on you to ask!

@Sirzy Our divorce isn't exactly new for him - we've been separated and 50/50 since he was 3.
Do you have any experience of separated families at all?

I think it's a bit pointless to ask because they really don't know. My dc will say a little bit either way but they can't really say. They are also really tired and really stressed.