Is it shitty to do this instead of pay school fees?

[Yoursstruly]

Been gifted 150k. I am a single parent but do have maintenance of around 600 a month.

I have a mortgage free home worth around 500k.

Since receiving this money I initially thought I would spend it on school fees (child almost 4 so due to start school in a few months). I told family about this and they were all for it (I went to private and enjoyed it). I also have a job that brings in around 4K a month.

I’ve since seen an amazing home I would love to move to which is on the market for 650k. We are midlands ish area and this goes quite a long way, 5 bed, detached, nice garden and large rooms.

My family are saying this is ridiculous and I’m selfish, that we have a home for the two of us and it’s big enough (4 bed) and we don’t need more space but child would obviously benefit greatly from a private education.

I now feel incredibly conflicted. Am I being selfish? I think in the back of my mind I keep thinking I could probably afford fees down the line anyway at least for secondary. I do save around 1k a month for child and 1k for me.

I don’t know what to do. Is it selfish? Be honest, I’ve posted on AIBU for a reason!!

Anecdotal evidence is pointless on these type of threads. It doesn’t matter how many people write my child went to state/private and it was great/terrible, but all the matters is where YOUR child would be most happy, and what the state/private options are like in YOUR area.

Lots of people saying there’s no point in private primary - well there was for us, as our local state primary was riddled with poor behaviour, large classes, and a very high teacher turnover. But your local state might be brilliant and/or your local private might be terrible. So do your research on the local schools of both where you live & where you want to move to, and think what would fit your child best.

If you're saving £2k a month at the moment is there a reason why you can't do both? Prep/pre prep would be less than £24k so you would still be saving money over the next 7 years to top up your fund for secondary. If you were significantly short at that point you could consider downsizing or taking out a small mortgage.

What are the state primaries like round you?
Is there any reason your child will struggle in a state primary?

I mean your child might have a better time in a private school than a state school, and they might have a better time in a 5 bed house than a 4 bed house, but unless your child is disabled in some way such that state schools are likely to be really awful for him, I can't see that either the 5 bed house or the private school are necessary. Both are not needed, but nice to have luxuries, and you can chose whichever you like!

Smaller classes - so the perceived academic advantages that dont interest you?

@Flamingojune no. It’s hard not to sound big headed saying this but I know my child would be fine academically anywhere. I actually believe most children will perform the same regardless of environment as long as they have the right parental influence behind them.

Don’t underestimate how expensive it is to run a big house. Higher utilities, higher council tax, plus every tradesman you speak to will charge you a “big house tax” - we have a large house and get ridiculous extortionate quotes for any work we want to do.

In fact for one recent piece of work we used the company that had just done that job at my parents’ house, so we knew what they had charged. They then quoted to do the exact same job at our house, and they literally doubled it.

So you may find that you use the inheritance and your current equity on the big house, then can’t save as much as you expect to for the school fees.

It’s equally likely to go down in value. If you don’t buy it and simply invest your £150k in the stock market that’s probably going to give you a better financial return.

Depends - do you plan to have a second child in the future? Would you be able to pay for private school for two?

On the contrary - Privately educated ppl in my life have a track record of being bellends that I can't think of any other demographic; racial, gender, sexual, class based or religious, achieves with the same consistency

And also the fact that half of private schools are rahh rugby boys not even focused on academics 🤨

"Why can't milennials buy housing?"

I’d put the money aside for schooling now instead of getting the bigger house.

a change in circumstances could mean that you are unable to find the spare cash to save for school fees so you should use the inheritance as you know that’s there.

continue saving as you are for now and if you still need additional space in a few years time then look at moving or renovating current home to do it.