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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a weekday wedding?

107 replies

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 10:06

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it!

Things that are relevant:

  • It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school.
  • Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave.
  • Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday.
  • If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea.

Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

OP posts:
didgeridid · 13/05/2026 13:56

It's your wedding, your choice 😊
We've been to weekday weddings. As long as you give plenty of notice (bare in mind some people book holidays a year in advance) ilf people want to and can come they will. You'll never please everyone so do what's right for you both

ETA we had a weekend wedding at the beginning of Dec. We married at 5pm in a registry office and went straight to the party with a buffet. No sit down meal, no speeches, no photography. Saved a massive amount and no regrets :)

ChapmanFarm · 13/05/2026 14:11

Would your other option be to book the latest wedding slot? Think ours was 4 or 4.40.

Then by the time we'd taken a couple of photos we went for drinks and a meal.

That was it's only half a day or even an early finish for your local guests.

I think for a low key, non party style wedding a week day is fine.

FirstWorldProblemSolver · 13/05/2026 14:15

Normally I would say weekday weddings are very annoying, usually very inconvenient in terms of having to take annual leave etc and let's be honest, a very obvious way of saving money for the host, whilst generally making it was more expensive for the guests to attend. Also they are usually less fun because people will usually work the next day rather than have the day off to nurse a hangover.

however, if most of your squad are teachers and as you would at least be doing it during school holidays, I would say it's probably actually quite convenient for everyone involved so on this occasion I would say go for it.

ForPinkDuck · 13/05/2026 14:15

Champagne and cake at a venue sounds expensive and not enough, lots of people dont get time to eat prior to a wedding. You need to feed your guests.
didgeridid perfect wedding! pub buffet (in your town) or bbq in your garden after registry office would be perfect and low key so people can attend after work as and when.

thing47 · 13/05/2026 14:20

DD2 got married on a Thursday last year, in the summer holidays as like you @TheLadyOfWinterfell several of her good friends are teachers. Great venue, food, band, cake. Still going strong until midnight when venue kicked us out!

Not a single person declined because of midweek date (just over 100 guests). They just took the Thursday and Friday off work and made a weekend of it.

AhMh67 · 13/05/2026 14:20

We had a Friday wedding it was half the price of the Saturday. My son also got married on a Friday.

hahabahbag · 13/05/2026 14:23

I think it sounds fine, I personally wouldn’t be drinking for this sort of event so sparkling elderflower as an option would be a good idea, I love a proper afternoon tea with sandwiches, hot savoury items, scones and a selection of cakes. Also again if I was a guest id need caffeine free tea or coffee, I’ve been to a similar event and the caterers looked at me as if I had two heads, I can’t tolerate caffeine. Much prefer served afternoon tea to a buffet

JustSayingReally · 13/05/2026 14:36

I got married on a Friday in the summer holidays. Everyone came who we wanted there we just gave plenty of notice and people booked days annual leave

purplecorkheart · 13/05/2026 14:49

One of the last wedding I was at was a midweek wedding. It was a Wednesday but they gave plenty of notice, it was also after a Bank Holiday Monday so quite a few people actually took leave all week. There were a few guests left soon after the meal/speeches but there were plenty of people still remaining when the Bride and Groom were leaving. Arranging things like hair and makeup was so much easier than on a weekend.

They did serve a full meal but I really like your idea of canapes but would much prefer a buffet to afternoon tea. The only actual slight hiccup was that we all had to arrive to the church very early as it was in the middle of a load of schools and we knew that traffic would be a nightmare if we arrived nearer the actual time.

Original poster
TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 14:59

ForPinkDuck · 13/05/2026 14:15

Champagne and cake at a venue sounds expensive and not enough, lots of people dont get time to eat prior to a wedding. You need to feed your guests.
didgeridid perfect wedding! pub buffet (in your town) or bbq in your garden after registry office would be perfect and low key so people can attend after work as and when.

It wouldn’t be champagne and cake. It would be champagne, canapés and then either a finger buffet or an afternoon tea plus wedding cake a bit later. The place is quite well known for its afternoon tea and it does come with sandwiches, a sausage roll and a cheese scone so a good balance of sweet and savoury.

I would rather have the finger buffet, so if that’s the general preference on here then it’s fine by me!

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 13/05/2026 15:45

I have no issue to a mid week wedding as long as enough notice is given. The mid week ones we have declined in the past gave 8 weeks notice (towards the end of the year) which wasn't sufficient for our work.

I would also say see if your venue offers twilight/afternoon packages as these can also reduce cost - so wedding starting at 4pm. It also allowed people to travel during the day rather then night before.

Lulu1919 · 13/05/2026 15:48

The fact it’s school hols helps a lot for school staff
most people can book holiday days I guess
your wedding your choice xx

chipsandpeas · 13/05/2026 15:53

your wedding your choice, but if i was invited and had to travel a few hours only for the whole thing to be 4-5 hours i would decline

Holdonforsummer · 13/05/2026 15:53

My brother in law got married 300 miles away on a Wednesday, which basically meant a week off work. Anything has to be better than that!

PinkTonic · 13/05/2026 16:01

I think if you’re starting at 12 noon you need to serve lunch not afternoon tea. Drinks and canapés, ceremony, lunch. The lunch could be a buffet but I see that word and think of beige misery, so not that kind of buffet.

Changingplace · 13/05/2026 16:07

PinkTonic · 13/05/2026 16:01

I think if you’re starting at 12 noon you need to serve lunch not afternoon tea. Drinks and canapés, ceremony, lunch. The lunch could be a buffet but I see that word and think of beige misery, so not that kind of buffet.

Afternoon tea is lunch though, sandwiches, cakes, and can often include pork pies/pastries and similar to a ploughman’s.

It’s more imo about how it’s served but it can be pretty substantial, it’s not just fairy cakes.

Original poster
TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 16:36

chipsandpeas · 13/05/2026 15:53

your wedding your choice, but if i was invited and had to travel a few hours only for the whole thing to be 4-5 hours i would decline

That’s good to know, thank you for your honesty.

I would travel that far for a wedding or a big birthday/anniversary celebration (with enough notice!) but obviously not everyone would. The only people on my side who would have to travel that far are relatives and are retired, so I imagine they will come regardless of the length of the day .

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 13/05/2026 16:38

In your circumstances with teacher friends and family who work weekends then it makes sense.

For most people it work be inconsiderate but in your case it works.

FastLemonFinch · 13/05/2026 16:56

Your wedding your choice but as others have commented anyone who does work during the week would maybe need to take 2-3 days off work depending on travel time so as long as you accept and won’t begrudge declines that’s fine. If it’s a small guest list surely you can ask a few of these people directly to see what their thoughts are?

I get budgets are tight but l I’m not sure an afternoon tea would be filling enough particularly if people have potentially been travelling all morning? Weekday or not I’d be a bit miffed if I didn’t receive enough food, particularly if people won’t have eaten properly since breakfast.

If you want to go ahead with afternoon tea I’d be very upfront with guests on timings of food (when it’s being served) and what will be served so they can plan and eat beforehand properly. And (particularly if mid week) if it’s an early finish people you may risk people leaving even earlier to either head home and or get a proper dinner.

I do think a buffet would probably give you better food options. It sounds like a small guest list already but if not I’d be tempted to reduce numbers invited and then increase per person spend on food/drinks.

BeepBoopTappity · 13/05/2026 17:03

My brother did this and it was a perfect day! It was a Thursday so people who worked weekdays could make it into a long weekend, though most guests were local. Ceremony and sit-down lunch for close friends and family, then additional "evening" guests joined for afternoon tea served as a buffet. There was plenty of food and the last guests probably left around 9/10pm.

Thechaseison71 · 13/05/2026 17:06

SparklyBlueDress · 13/05/2026 10:15

Perfectly fine but be gracious and understanding if people decline to come. Unless it’s local I think people will only come on a Friday otherwise it’s 2 days off work

Even those who work weekends?

F I was to marry it would be far better to have a weekday wedding as none of the peopl id invite which the exception of my sister work mon till Friday

OP has said many of friends are teachers and it's school holidays. Can't see an issue

Original poster
TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 17:07

PinkTonic · 13/05/2026 16:01

I think if you’re starting at 12 noon you need to serve lunch not afternoon tea. Drinks and canapés, ceremony, lunch. The lunch could be a buffet but I see that word and think of beige misery, so not that kind of buffet.

The ceremony venue (which is beautiful, and we are very set on) is a separate location to the reception venue so that wouldn’t work. I also haven’t ever been to a wedding where there’s been food or drink before the ceremony as presumably the bride, bridesmaids and M/FOTB aren’t there?

OP posts:
8TinyToeBeans · 13/05/2026 17:12

Go with what works for you, but keep in mind that some people may not be able to attend.

We had a week day wedding (a tuesday) because a) it was cheaper, b) it was quieter, and c) it was a tiny wedding so we knew the only people coming would care enough to take a day off.

We probably spent about £3k in total for everything. We had the ceremony at a local castle, then a buffet afterwards. We finished around 9pm, and went for a walk along the beach together. It was perfect!

Jackrussellmansion · 13/05/2026 17:20

How about the Thursday after Good Friday, my daughter did this and it worked really well.

Original poster
TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 18:16

FastLemonFinch · 13/05/2026 16:56

Your wedding your choice but as others have commented anyone who does work during the week would maybe need to take 2-3 days off work depending on travel time so as long as you accept and won’t begrudge declines that’s fine. If it’s a small guest list surely you can ask a few of these people directly to see what their thoughts are?

I get budgets are tight but l I’m not sure an afternoon tea would be filling enough particularly if people have potentially been travelling all morning? Weekday or not I’d be a bit miffed if I didn’t receive enough food, particularly if people won’t have eaten properly since breakfast.

If you want to go ahead with afternoon tea I’d be very upfront with guests on timings of food (when it’s being served) and what will be served so they can plan and eat beforehand properly. And (particularly if mid week) if it’s an early finish people you may risk people leaving even earlier to either head home and or get a proper dinner.

I do think a buffet would probably give you better food options. It sounds like a small guest list already but if not I’d be tempted to reduce numbers invited and then increase per person spend on food/drinks.

There’s nobody coming who will need to be away from home for that long, other than some relatives of mine and they are the ones who are retired. They don’t have any pets or anything either, so hopefully won’t mind too much. There is one friend of DP’s who lives a long way away and is a single parent, so I’m not sure if she will come even if it’s on a Saturday. He will need to discuss that with her, really.

It’s not a small guest list (or not to me, anyway) but it is a small list of Monday-Friday workers. I’ve already asked two of them how they’d feel about a weekday wedding and they were absolutely fine with it.

I’m happy with the food options and I say that as someone who is a bit overweight and quite greedy by mumsnet standards! I do think it will be enough to eat given that people will be able to have breakfast before and dinner afterwards if it finishes at 5pm. The afternoon tea is actually quite a lot more per person than the buffet, because it is very generous and it has a very good reputation. I’ll have to have a think about which one would be better.

There will be 6 canapés per person too, regardless of what option we go for.

OP posts: