Page 2 | To have a weekday wedding?

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 2026-05-13T09:06:55+00:00

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it! Things that are relevant: - It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school. - Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave. - Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday. - If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea. Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

Thecomedyclub · 13/05/2026 10:46

As a slight aside, this is so interesting. Years ago it was only the wealthy upper classes who got married during the week, because none of them were constrained by work. These days, money issues generally mean getting married at cheaper times of the week.
Anyway…. I think what suits you as a couple is what will work best. You know most people will come and it’s not an alcohol-laden proposition so it’s only one day - even with travelling a noon start means guests don’t need to stay over. Congratulations!

Lomonald · 13/05/2026 10:48

I have been to a no evening do wedding, it was a Sunday we were home by 7pm it was bliss.

Logika · 13/05/2026 10:50

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/05/2026 10:42

That’s covering 2 meals by the time people have travelled. If you only wanted to cover 1 meal I’d go for a 2pm wedding and evening meal or not buffet. A 12-5 wedding needs a buffet in my opinion 🙂

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Yes I'd start at a clearly after lunch time so they can eat beforehand.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 13/05/2026 10:53

I’ve recently been to a Friday afternoon / evening wedding.

Registry wedding at about 3 (small group of people), short reception at about 4/4:30 followed by a dinner party and lots of dancing. It was very nice, relaxed and most people didn’t have to take more than half a day off work!

Afternoon tea sounds nice as well! I adore alternative weddings like that. (My personal dream would have been a brunch wedding btw!)

SeaBaseAlpha · 13/05/2026 10:54

Logika · 13/05/2026 10:45

A catering place near us does an afternoon tea or a "men's" afternoon tea - similar but with a more savoury slant like a home made sausage roll & pork pie in the mix. I don't love the name but it might work well here, especially given you don't need 3 different bits of cake when there is already wedding cake.

What an odd name for it! DH would be most put out if he was presented with a pork pie whilst I sat there nibbling on a delicious piece of cake! He loves an afternoon tea more than I do.. in fact I've just remembered his stag do was an afternoon tea!

owlpassport · 13/05/2026 10:57

Well, what do you want from your wedding? How many guests do you plan to have? What are your non-negotiables? (e.g. do you prioritise the dress, the flowers, the photographer, the band, the number of guests, the quality of food, etc?)

Honestly a weekday wedding with a ceremony, afternoon tea and home for dinner sounds like a compromise wedding and not something guests would overly enjoy. If it's really what you want then fine, but I think there are better options, for example small registry office wedding and nice dinner then a casual party for more guests.

Changingplace · 13/05/2026 11:08

Logika · 13/05/2026 10:45

A catering place near us does an afternoon tea or a "men's" afternoon tea - similar but with a more savoury slant like a home made sausage roll & pork pie in the mix. I don't love the name but it might work well here, especially given you don't need 3 different bits of cake when there is already wedding cake.

Agreed, great idea but the wording is bizarrely and unnecessarily sexist.

TheBloomingDahlia · 13/05/2026 11:23

It sounds perfect for your friend group and ceremony type I think. My boyfriend works at a lot of weddings and says weekday weddings are always very subdued in the evening compared to weekend, so if you’re not planning a crazy evening after-party then the day doesn’t matter that much. Especially if most attendees are either off work or work weekends anyway

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 11:32

owlpassport · 13/05/2026 10:57

Well, what do you want from your wedding? How many guests do you plan to have? What are your non-negotiables? (e.g. do you prioritise the dress, the flowers, the photographer, the band, the number of guests, the quality of food, etc?)

Honestly a weekday wedding with a ceremony, afternoon tea and home for dinner sounds like a compromise wedding and not something guests would overly enjoy. If it's really what you want then fine, but I think there are better options, for example small registry office wedding and nice dinner then a casual party for more guests.

60-80, probably. We would need to look at numbers because obviously if we did this then there would be no evening guests so we would need to invite everyone we wanted there to the whole thing. Absolutely won’t be prioritising the dress or flowers, and there won’t be a band as there’s no evening do. The priority with this style of wedding would be a nice venue with good food and drink for the (short!) time that people are there. It is a really lovely place and their food is excellent. We’d make sure there was a decent amount of money behind the bar, too.

None of the registry offices near us hold the number of guests we would want for the ceremony, which is one of the reasons we’ve opted against something like you’ve suggested. Plus there are about 40-50 people who are pretty much non negotiable for the ceremony, so a small thing followed by a bigger party wouldn’t work.

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hairyunicorn · 13/05/2026 11:33

I got married on a Saturday, but in January. It cut the budget by over half. Have you considered having a winter wedding?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/05/2026 11:33

SeaBaseAlpha · 13/05/2026 10:54

What an odd name for it! DH would be most put out if he was presented with a pork pie whilst I sat there nibbling on a delicious piece of cake! He loves an afternoon tea more than I do.. in fact I've just remembered his stag do was an afternoon tea!

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And I’d rather the savoury food!

I was going to say it’s unfair men get proper food, when we’re stuck with rubbishy old cake that would make you feel sick on an empty stomach and not filled up in the slightest.

northernstars · 13/05/2026 11:35

We got married on a Thursday - 50 guests and the only people who didn’t come were genuinely ill. We had the ceremony at 1 then a really good buffet and free bar and done by 7ish? It was perfect.

owlpassport · 13/05/2026 11:41

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 11:32

60-80, probably. We would need to look at numbers because obviously if we did this then there would be no evening guests so we would need to invite everyone we wanted there to the whole thing. Absolutely won’t be prioritising the dress or flowers, and there won’t be a band as there’s no evening do. The priority with this style of wedding would be a nice venue with good food and drink for the (short!) time that people are there. It is a really lovely place and their food is excellent. We’d make sure there was a decent amount of money behind the bar, too.

None of the registry offices near us hold the number of guests we would want for the ceremony, which is one of the reasons we’ve opted against something like you’ve suggested. Plus there are about 40-50 people who are pretty much non negotiable for the ceremony, so a small thing followed by a bigger party wouldn’t work.

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But what is YOUR priority? Not what are you prioritising by choosing this option. It sounds like it's the venue and the people? So do you not want an evening do with band, or have you decided not to have an evening do so you can make this style of wedding work? It's not clear. I'm just asking you to take a big step back and work out whether this is what you actually want, or if you've gone so far down this route you've talked yourself into it.

A free bar would absolutely not be my priority if you're conscious of budget. There's no need, one or two drinks included is enough (+ wine for a sit down meal) and I think that money could be better spent elsewhere. Nice food and drink is lovely, but if your priority is the people then there is something to be said for a full day wedding with perhaps more standard wedding fare. The day flies by, and if it's all over by 6 or 7pm you probably won't have had the chance to even see everyone.

owlpassport · 13/05/2026 11:42

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/05/2026 11:33

And I’d rather the savoury food!

I was going to say it’s unfair men get proper food, when we’re stuck with rubbishy old cake that would make you feel sick on an empty stomach and not filled up in the slightest.

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It's just a marketing technique/additional option... Woman can order it too, and men can order the standard afternoon tea. No need to be outraged. Perhaps we should cancel the ploughman's lunch too?

namechangedforthispo · 13/05/2026 11:43

We got married on a Friday in the school holidays, just as they broke up for the 6 weeks, it didn’t seem to be an issue for anybody as we obviously sent a save the date well in advance

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/05/2026 11:44

If in school holidays and you do invite kids then that sounds like a lovely mini break for them are you looking at 2027

Floofle · 13/05/2026 12:15

To be honest I think midweek weddings are very annoying, but I guess it depends on your guests.

My cousin got married on a bloody monday, it was very inconvenient! We're not very local so had to take 2 days of annual leave, just so they could get a slightly cheaper deal on the fancy hotel they wanted!

DappledThings · 13/05/2026 13:11

Floofle · 13/05/2026 12:15

To be honest I think midweek weddings are very annoying, but I guess it depends on your guests.

My cousin got married on a bloody monday, it was very inconvenient! We're not very local so had to take 2 days of annual leave, just so they could get a slightly cheaper deal on the fancy hotel they wanted!

But you didn't have to. You could have not gone if it was annoying.

I would happily take AL for a wedding. Pretty much every one I've gone to we've chosen to take at least the day before and make a weekend of it. But it's completely optional.

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 13:37

owlpassport · 13/05/2026 11:41

But what is YOUR priority? Not what are you prioritising by choosing this option. It sounds like it's the venue and the people? So do you not want an evening do with band, or have you decided not to have an evening do so you can make this style of wedding work? It's not clear. I'm just asking you to take a big step back and work out whether this is what you actually want, or if you've gone so far down this route you've talked yourself into it.

A free bar would absolutely not be my priority if you're conscious of budget. There's no need, one or two drinks included is enough (+ wine for a sit down meal) and I think that money could be better spent elsewhere. Nice food and drink is lovely, but if your priority is the people then there is something to be said for a full day wedding with perhaps more standard wedding fare. The day flies by, and if it's all over by 6 or 7pm you probably won't have had the chance to even see everyone.

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Well if money was absolutely no object then I’d have an evening do, but I’m not so set on one that I’d necessarily rather spend more money and have a less nice venue. The last few weddings I’ve been to very few people have danced and instead they’ve generally just sat around in groups drinking and talking which is a bit of a waste of a DJ or live band! I have never been hugely wedding focussed, it’s DP’s second wedding, we’ve been together a while and we have children so I feel a big do would potentially be slight overkill.

Oh it wouldn’t be a free bar unfortunately! We would buy bottles of some form of sparkling wine for people to have with the canapés and for toasting, then there would be a rough amount per person put behind the bar.

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Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 13:40

hairyunicorn · 13/05/2026 11:33

I got married on a Saturday, but in January. It cut the budget by over half. Have you considered having a winter wedding?

Thank you for the suggestion, but I’d like to avoid winter. Easter holidays or May/October half term would be ok, but I’m ideally looking at the 2027 summer holidays 🙂

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Smoggy1 · 13/05/2026 13:45

Ours is a Friday. Most people travelling are doing so after work on Thursday so it is just the one day of annual leave. Funnily enough, the only people not coming are those who are retired and had holidays booked.

bridgetreilly · 13/05/2026 13:45

It’s completely fine, so long as you are aware that not everyone will be able to come.

Brightonkebab · 13/05/2026 13:45

DappledThings · 13/05/2026 13:11

But you didn't have to. You could have not gone if it was annoying.

I would happily take AL for a wedding. Pretty much every one I've gone to we've chosen to take at least the day before and make a weekend of it. But it's completely optional.

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don't be disingenuous especially with family it's often an expectation. I wouldn't go because I think it's quite inconsiderate, but I am aware that this may cause other fall outs.

Ponderingwindow · 13/05/2026 13:46

We did. It was small. Only 2 people lived in a different city and they were retired. We started festivities after the work day and ended early enough for people to get to bed at a decent hour. It was short and sweet which was perfect for us.

i think if you do a weekday wedding, you should rethink what a wedding really needs to look like. Does it really need last all day and go into the night? Is heavy partying something people are going to want to do on a Tuesday?

KmcK87 · 13/05/2026 13:50

Sounds fine but I’d put on some decent food rather than picky bits, weddings are a long day for everyone even if they finish early.

I had a midweek wedding. There was definitely more people leaving early as had work the next day but those close to us used annual leave and we still had a really good party atmosphere. This is what annual leave is for, I work weekends so pretty much all my annual leave is used going to various family/friend events.