To have a weekday wedding?

[TheLadyOfWinterfell]

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it!

Things that are relevant:

• It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school.
• Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave.
• Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday.
• If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea.

Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

I think it's fine as long as you accept not everyone will make it.

I’d be more than happy to attend a wedding on a weekday. In fact would probably prefer it. I do get quite a generous amount of annual leave compared to some people though, so that’s a factor.

Prioritise WHO you’d want to be there and the rest will fall into place.

I had mine on a Thursday. Anticipated people not joining (and I was ok with that). They all joined.

Yes fine if plenty of notice but understand not everyone may not be able to attend. It's more important to have close ones there who will all make the effort anyway. Xxx

We married on a Monday and 4 days before Christmas! A lot cheaper and every guest we invited joined us (mind you, we only invited 16 guests!!)
Perfect.

I got married on a Friday (school hols). I checked with the people we absolutely wanted there to make sure it was ok; everyone else we were absolutely fine with them not coming and made it clear no pressure.

And the bonus is that it will reduce the numbers & therefore the cost .

Champagne afternoon tea is quite expensive isn't it? For the same price you could probably get a 'proper' meal, whether buffet or table service.

I married my teacher DH last summer holidays. We had a Monday wedding. 60 odd in the day, and over 100 at night. All day guests accepted. Most evening guests did too. Wasn't an issue at all!

It’s your wedding so go for whatever you want. As long as you don’t get disappointed or annoyed by people who can’t make it or leave early due to the day.

I’ve probably been to 10+ weekday weddings at this point and, although it does always sting a little to be using annual leave and sometimes paying extra childcare costs on top, it’s true that we’ve made it work for people we care about. And if the majority of your guests are in the category of a weekday wedding being convenient then it doesn’t sound like you’d get much push back.

Weekday - a lot of places charge the same Monday to Friday with Sat -Sun and Bank Holidays at a higher price (appreciate this does depend per venue)

if it’s enough notice some attendees may be able to “swop” their working day rather than take annual leave - I did this for a friends ceremony

12 noon is a terrible time for a wedding. Most people will have had breakfast and then travelled to be with you so will be getting hungry for lunch just as you’re exchanging your vows. To then only provide a finger buffet or afternoon tea will leave you with 60-80 hungry guests. The biggest complaint about weddings is that people are left hungry. Please feed your guests. Canapés and champagne isn’t going to cut it!

Surely everyone knows the rule is to have a sandwich before a wedding, no matter what time it is. You never know when there will be food.

If I was going to a weekday wedding, I'd expect to be actually fed at least! A real meal, not a few canapés and a mini scone.

@PJ98 That is very far away from what I’ve said, so it just read to me as being quite unpleasant. If we do this, it will be canapés and then either a buffet lunch or an afternoon tea
which includes multiple savoury elements.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn It’s not just canapés and champagne though, as you’ve said? It’s canapés and then either a buffet or an afternoon tea. That’s more than most people eat in the gap between breakfast and dinner, surely? The ceremony venue is in a city, so there are plenty of cafes/restaurants around if people want to have a later breakfast before. It’s not like it’s a stately home or a spa hotel in the middle of nowhere.

You know your guests better than we do, and you know how important it is to you that everyone attends.

I categorically will not attend a wedding on a weekday. I've endured it twice and both times have been far too much palaver and been a bit shit.

I just think it’s rude to invite guests to attend a wedding and basically give them snacks. I wouldn’t be impressed if I went to a wedding, with all the expense that goes with it, and then have to go out for dinner afterwards to eat. I wouldn’t want to go to a cafe for breakfast before either! But you know your guests. You just need to make it very, very clear on the invitation what they can expect, otherwise it’ll be a disappointing day for a lot of people.

I've never been out for afternoon tea and felt I'd only had snacks. They always have boxes for people to bring their excess cake home in. I can pack a lot of calories away and even I don't always finish it.

The trick here I think is to serve it in a way that people feel able to tuck in, like they do when it's served to you individually on those tall racks, rather than nibbling politely on a single sandwich and a profiterole.

Agree with PP that the "afternoon tea" is problematic. If your ceremony is at midday so no-one will have had lunch, plus several people will have had to use annual leave, I can imagine a few unhappy guests if they don't get a proper meal and then perhaps have to buy themselves an evening meal if they can't go home the same day.

Really? I have never had an afternoon tea that I have not taken stuff away from and I am fat!

My mum and stepdad had a beautiful wedding on a Wednesday in August several years ago. Family travelled down from all over the UK for it, and, from what I remember, there weren't any complaints.
They did have a sit deal meal, but it went on for longer than you've planned for yours.

Personally, I would be disappointed to see an afternoon tea as I'm not really a fan of them, and would much prefer a buffet.

An afternoon tea is not a substantial meal. I've had some afternoon teas where I've not finished it, but more that I'm sick of cake by the end of it. The savoury part is only a few sandwiches.

I'd go for the buffet, but even then I'd personally expect a sit down meal at a wedding, especially if I've had to travel on a weekday and it starts early so I've had to have breakfast really early.

I'd think someone had cheaped out having a weekday wedding without proper food - at my expense there, including my expense of hunger.

I'm not being mean, you've asked for opinions and you'll have noticed a few people have mentioned about not feeling fed at weddings. Luckily some people wouldn't mind, so maybe your family and friends fall in that camp. Then you're grand.

I mean, I really wouldn’t class a buffet or afternoon tea as snacks, but OK. I’m sorry you’d feel disappointed, hopefully none of the guests would feel the same way but I guess you can’t make everyone happy when you organise an event. Yes, we would make it clear on the invite that it was only a day time thing with an early finish as not only will if affect evening meals it may affect whether people choose to stay locally overnight or head home.

But… you’d expect to arrange your own breakfast on the day of the wedding though? That’s all I meant, that if people are travelling in the morning and don’t want to have breakfast before they leave then there are plenty of places they can get something locally. Or they can have breakfast at home or in their hotel or where ever they would normally have breakfast. It’s not like I’m planning something at a remote country hotel 90 minutes outside the nearest big town, which I appreciate would be a massive palaver for people. Most people won’t be travelling for any longer than an hour, so could easily not have to leave the house until quite late in the morning.

@TheSoapyFrog The general opinion seems to be that a buffet would be preferable, which is absolutely fine by me as that’s what I’d rather have and it’s cheaper, so more money to spend on other things. There will be a wedding cake, so it’s not like there won’t be anything sweet. Glad your mum and your stepdad had a lovely time 🙂

I got married on a Friday. Everyone came. Your wedding sounds lovely OP, but I would make sure the afternoon tea is really substantial, don't underfeed people

I think this sounds lovely.

I think the only thing you might need to be aware of is you mention other friends being teachers, so doing it in any school holiday means they might not be around and if a good holiday deal came up they would go for that rather than your wedding.
Same with any guests with school aged children, they are likely to prioritise holidays over your wedding.