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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To disagree with home ed

407 replies

Freshton · 12/05/2026 21:57

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

OP posts:
ClayPotaLot · 19/05/2026 19:39

AnythingButThis · 19/05/2026 17:48

I certainly don’t think it should be banned, and have huge admiration for those that do it well (and for those forced into it by school failure with SEN/mental health).
There are many bodies that believe, and cases to back them up, that some children are more at risk of abuse because they effectively disappear from the system (and in some cases are not seen by gps, dentist’s etc.) so there is no oversight. Another small group of children have their education significantly neglected. Many on this thread have attested to that.

But I’ve said this already and been shouted down so I guess you will too!. I would have thought it was in the interests of the HE community to support measures (more oversight?) to protect all HE children as it is a growing phenomenon. But everyone seems to take it so personally, if you do it well then why not help protect children who’s parents can’t or won’t. (I get why the threads title is annoying though)

It's not that HE'ers take it personally (though, obviously, a few do), it's that it will undermine some of the benefits many HE'ers get from HE, and will use up state resources which could prevent more harm by being focused elsewhere.

Scamworried · 19/05/2026 23:49

Has anyone seen the latest posts on social media from the department of education?

We got emojis spelling something out and gemma collins meeting to discuss the reforms! It looks like a comedy sketch.

If you want evidence of how bad things have become in our education system have a look at the department of education and a read at the desperation and despair from parents of SEN pupils.

And if you want to save children - stand with SEN parents and home educating families and demand better. Do not stand by cheering while the government strip away legal rights and legal protections under a mistruth of safeguarding. If safeguarding was the agenda they wouldn't be removing legal protections to SEN pupils access a suitable education

Luddite26 · 21/05/2026 08:58

AnythingButThis · 19/05/2026 19:12

Have you heard of ‘whataboutism’?
It's a way of deflecting from a question you don’t want to be asked.

Have you heard of off rolling?

AnythingButThis · 21/05/2026 09:20

Luddite26 · 21/05/2026 08:58

Have you heard of off rolling?

Yes I have.
Numbers suggest that less than a third of home educated children are in that position because of unmet SEN, mental health issues related to school, off rolling, neurodivergence etc.
Completely sympathize and don’t agree with the OP on this.

Also think however there needs to be more oversight for the sake of those children who are at risk because they’ve been withdrawn and become invisible to services with abusive, unstable or inadequate parenting.
I don’t think at all that one group of children has precedence over the other which seems to be what people are arguing. Ie if their children’s needs aren’t met then those in other categories aren’t a concern.

Luddite26 · 21/05/2026 22:23

In my experience councils do a welfare check when a child is withdrawn from school to home ed either by social services, the police or an education welfare officer.
This great myth that is being perpetuated that kids are being withdrawn under the radar is because councils are failing their duties to provide an education for every child. And social services has been cut to the bone. Children that have been murdered by family members were not under the radar or hidden in plain sight they were overlooked by people in paid positions to protect children.

Scamworried · 22/05/2026 13:57

AnythingButThis · 21/05/2026 09:20

Yes I have.
Numbers suggest that less than a third of home educated children are in that position because of unmet SEN, mental health issues related to school, off rolling, neurodivergence etc.
Completely sympathize and don’t agree with the OP on this.

Also think however there needs to be more oversight for the sake of those children who are at risk because they’ve been withdrawn and become invisible to services with abusive, unstable or inadequate parenting.
I don’t think at all that one group of children has precedence over the other which seems to be what people are arguing. Ie if their children’s needs aren’t met then those in other categories aren’t a concern.

It's not about other children not having safeguarding
Nobody is saying children shouldn't be protected.

We are however saying
A. The current services should be properly funded
B. The current services should act quicker and more effective in cases where is child is known to be at risk. And not leave them in the dangerous environment
C. We are concerned that now we have found something that works for our SEN children - we do not want to be forced back into an environment that was causing so much damage and harm to those children nor do we want interference from agencies that are not adequately trained or having the understanding of SEN making decisions based on hiting targets
D. We do not want home ed becoming a scapegoat for the errors of government and social services. Especially, as the home ed by choose group have literally been a lifeline to the home ed by force families - due to off rolling or damage caused by schools

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