To disagree with home ed

[Freshton]

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

You'll get shouted down on here OP as everyone will have a legit reason for doing so

Over the past 20 years parents of children with SEN argued about inclusion and for their children to attend mainstream and not be othered. What this has meant conveniently is that children with challenges and enhanced needs are expected now at mainstream and rarely get identified as a specialist need for a specialist school but also cant progress or even access mainstream, it doesnt meet their needs. So they're forced to home educate

Parents make better advocates for children than the state does, in the vast majority of cases.

I agree. I know a couple of families who homeschool and their children just can't function in normal social settings like birthday parties.

Also some of them aren't getting other social opportunities, one of them had a birthday party and there was only 2 kids of her age there. It's quite sad really, they are quite isolated. I have no idea how they do academically

I know you quantified this with excepting kids with MH issues but honestly, you have no idea.

My son was so distressed by school we almost lost him to suicide several times. On one occasion he took over 100 tablets.

I am so glad we removed him from school and saved his life. We met many others on the same journey who were simply chasing a life where their child was happy because school failed them miserably.

I may well have had the same thoughts as you prior to our experience (our other three children all attended school). But you have no clue what it is like to watch your child fall apart. And by the way he has no SEN. It was heartbreaking.

I think it can be done very poorly, but so many schools are shocking too, bullying is rife, needs are unmet and a lot of teachers are not highly skilled (nor do many have Masters degrees) and their focus seems to be academic qualifications to the exclusion of many other things parents may value for. When my children were in Primary, several Secondary schools near us had metal detectors on the doors because of school knife crime. We moved, but if my kids had been allocated one of those schools, or one of the schools that had draconian rules about uniform and behaviour and where the kids always looked thoroughly miserable going in, I'd have been home Ed-ing too. I won't stay in a job that makes me miserable 5 days a week and wouldn't send my kids to a school that made them miserable or put them in danger.

As it turns out we moved and found great schools in another country. But I can really see why a lot of parents find school provision so poor they don't want to send their kids there.

Alright I disagree with home ed and ALSO disagree with school.

but I go for school on balance

I chose to home ed my three. They are all now at uni or about to go. They are very sociable, lots of friends from different backgrounds and seem happy. I chose to do it because I thought it would be best for them, that they could learn in a more individual way and have a more relaxed childhood. They did. There were disadvantages but overall it worked out really well.
I’m really grateful we live in a country where we had the freedom to do this.
I agree it’s not always the right thing for children. I’ve also seen children made very miserable and failed by schools though.

The only home Ed child I know is at home because his mum (asd) had a terrible time at school herself and didn’t want that for her child. It’s a shame. There chatty and outgoing but lonely. We nearly had to hone Ed our asd (very high achieving) child as they couldn’t cope with the boisterous, ill disciplined, violent mainstream state school. Mainstream Private proved perfect though.

We have homeschooled for nearly a year. Granted we can afford to pay out for tutors, group learning and lots of extra curricular activities but my child has thrived and far outgrown the peers she was plodding along beside for years.

For example, today she had private tutor in maths, a small group class for English and she and I did comprehension based on Shakespeare and Ancient Greek myths. We did a further hour together on maths and we watched some videos about the science behind fire (the fire triangle etc) as the topic came up. We will work on this some more tomorrow.

She then went to an RE class this evening with kids from her old school.

Oh and she had time to spare in the day and so went on a bike ride and got fresh air. She’s as fit as a fiddle but I’ve noticed a lot of kids get chubby towards the latter part of primary as they spend too much time sat down!

Home Education is so multi faceted. I see why people would down-speak it if they are not in the position to provide the same level of education for their kids. But different strokes for different folks! I know women who don’t even like spending the weekends with their kids, let alone the weekdays too.

Goodness, how do parents manage to teach their children to walk, talk and all those other skills they develop in those first few years?

Walking and talking is not the same as algebra or Shakespeare, come on!

If kids are being bullied, I can see why parents would do this. And some of my kids' classes were led by non-qualified teachers, and a few admitted to the kids they really didn't know what they were doing. I have massive respect for teachers, but the government disrespects them-their union said they try to get more experienced teachers out because they want cheaper staff, and they have to spend a lot of time dealing with stuff that isn't teaching these days, eg changing nappies/dealing with spats and emails from parents.I wouldn't want to take my kids out of school because they need to learn to socialise and work with others, but I won't blame any parent who homeschools until the government tried to get well qualified, experienced teachers for all students.

That sounds like a good and varied set up, with tutors and groups etc but I don't think everyone could afford that

Yes totally agree not everyone could afford it or dedicate the time we do to it. It would also not work with children of various ages. All the same, in our case it works and I know of other families who follow the same framework for home ed, so it isn’t all worksheets and lowly educated hippies fancying themselves as teacher!

As I said in my OP, no issue when it's mental health, SEN or a really varied set up.

I'm thinking more of insular homeed types I've seen on Instagram that don't believe in global warming and buy into odd conspiracy theories and want to pass this crap onto their kids, or just have a really bad home ed set up and are depriving their child

The issue is that the curriculum is incredibly fast paced now so lots of children get left behind with the lack of resources in schools. Children having SEN or mental health issues caused by school are not 'extreme cases'. My DC cope well in school ATM but would have sunk in their previous school. And three children in my DCs reception class have already sunk at other schools before moving here!

I agree that home schooling doesn't work with some attitudes and some parents are failing their DC. But other DC that struggled at school are now thriving at home. Plenty of parents home schooling bring in a lot of support with tutors and external resources, most aren't just going it alone.

I home educate.
He's just turned 14, has some gcses and has just been accepted into college 2 years early, he has an active social life and spends summers travelling the country with me vending at various events and festivals among lots of other things. He is SEN but not behavioral, home ed was the best thing for him academically and socially.

I know many successful home educators who genuinely do a great job, however I have seen some shocking things and often despair at the community and the way they approach certain behaviours, ideas and opportunities.

I'm currently pregnant with my second and have no intention to home educate unless it's the best thing for them.

I now wonder how the tiny, one form entry inner city school my kids went to provides an adequate education. One teacher for 28 kids: some of them feral, a fair few with behavioural problems or additional needs.

They may spend 6-7 hours at school but the time spent learning is much, much less.

I will be sending my kids back to mainstream but I think it will pale in comparison to our home Ed. Journey.

I'm a qualified teacher and I home educate my children. We have a blast every day.

My SEN daughter wanted to kill herself aged 9. She isn’t missing out on socialising, she didn’t have a single friend all through school, because we attend many home ed groups.

She has thrived in home education, admittedly because I have thrown the time, money, and resources needed at it. Our education system is broken and is not fit for purpose, especially when it comes to SEN children.

This is not the life I would have chosen, but we play the hand that we are dealt.

Regarding safeguarding - my daughter sees doctors, dentists, tutors, therapists, the list goes on. Are those concerned about safeguarding just as concerned for all of the children aged 0-5 who are at home all day with parents before they start school, or do we just become “concerned” when they are of school age?

For children who are at risk of abuse yes, but not for many children who live in safe and nurturing homes.

I decided not to home educate my children because if I had, they would have only received my perspective on the world.
Going to school lets them know that there are other perspectives- which is a good thing!

I know 3 families that home school. 2 of them openly admit that their children now spend all day playing video games.
I wish I was joking.

My home educated child has had three play dates with kids from her old school in the past fortnight. One stole from her (and when caught admitted she has taken things from our home every time she comes). One used racist language and the third one was homophobic against a child from the class.

I have never experienced any of these behaviours from home educated children we mix with.

So beware when wanting your children to experience a range of perspectives as not all opinions are wholesome!

There will be a lot of this going on I’m sure and who is regulating this???