To disagree with home ed

[Freshton]

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

Well currently schools and LAs are NOT actually ensuring the pupils in their schools are having their welfare and education needs met while they are in the school - so maybe they need to get their own houses in order and manage their current responsibilities before taking on more.

I completely agree.

Friends of mine home-school their 9yo DD and 5yo DS. DD can read (just about), but has no maths beyond a very basic numbers to 20 sort of way. Does nothing in the way of science, history, geography.

They think she'll learn through "life experiences" - no she won't.

I’m talking about a teacher noticing something wrong with a child, or child absent, patterns of absence, another child mentioning to their parent something said child confided in then a parent noticing something off, etc.

A child at home, in the complete and sole control of a bad parent and completely off anyone’s radar - massive red flag.

It’s always these people who boast about how they did baking and used measuring cups so they did ‘maths’

or

went to the grocery store and did ‘budgeting’

or

joined other homeschool kids of ALL ages ranges

We started home ed due to SEN failings, so didn't really have a choice - but since leaving I have found out that 40% of children in mainstream school don't get either one or both of their Maths and English Language GCSE passes at a 4 or above (generally considered to be the absolute minimum required to join the adult world).
So in an average primary school classroom with five tables already sorted by ability, it is already known that the lowest two entire tables are going to "fail" school at age 16.
Isn't that unbelievably awful?

And you think people at groups and people in neighbourhood and local area, doctors and dentists are incapable of noticing a potential issue?
But a teacher with 30 other pupils in primary or a teacher in secondary with lots of classes is infallible and won't miss something?

Yep and they won't do anything useful to support those pupils and those pupils will already feel failures before they even get to KS2

I know that some schools are better at supporting but many schools just don't

And you seem incapable of understanding my point. A child in the grips of a bad parent that keeps them home - who is this child seeing? That parent doesn’t need to take them to the doctor, dentist or even out of the house do they? A child can completely go off the radar.

YABU.

My son had no diagnosed SEN when I pulled him out to home ed. The LEA checked in with us about what sort of education I was giving him and made sure to follow up. Mine was not an extreme case but that school was failing the hell out of my son. He got physically hurt several times a week and was working 1-2 years ahead of his age group yet was expected to read Biff Chip and Kipper instead of novels that interested him. But because he was a "pleasure to have in class" he flew under the radar.

After a period of home ed, I eventually found him a different school where they suggested (rightly) an autism diagnosis. He's sitting A Levels now and will go to uni next year.

Fix the existing system before coming for home edders as a bloc. Anyone serious about reforming home ed will first look at ways to bridge the gap between full-time school and EOTAS.

They're in a couple of homeschool groups.

But honestly, based on what I've seen on fb, it's all either "forest school" (which is lovely and definitely has a place, but it ain't gonna teach you your times tables), or mum's chat time, where the mums sit around and chat while the children do a bit of toddler aged art. The age range seems to be about toddler to 11yos, so unsurprisingly, it's meeting the needs of no-one.

Yes, that was my experience of home ed groups.

My son loathed fiddling about with sticks so he hated it.

ETA - for all those who say school is un natural socialisation, go to a home ed meet up. If your face doesn’t fit, parents won’t let their child be friends with yours. Either that, or your 7 year old will be forced to be friends with the only other two children around thier age who they probably have nothing in common with.

I think I’ve said it before, but that “all ages” bullshit is just nonsense. A 12 year old at a home ed meet up is just tolerating a 7 year old because they have no choice.

For those concerned about safeguarding, this might be an interesting read with regards to published statistics relating to referrals and CPPs for both school educated and home educated children. The research is now 10 years old, but still relevant.

As far as I am aware, there has never been a case where a home educated child has been a victim of abuse, injury or death where the child had not already been known to the appropriate authorities.

Home schooling can be fantastic. I’ve known children with SEN who have thrived with home schooling. And there are some people who keep their children at home for ideological or cultural reasons like the travellers camp near me. The kids leave school before senior school starts and go ‘to work’ at that age. I worked in a shop nearby and very few of the adults could read.

This all day long.

People will always be able to hide under the radar

These new laws will push the at risk families further into the dark and target families that are safe.

Children traumatized and failed by schools have already suffered enough and the new rules will further unfairly target them and their families. Creating more stress and upset and not actually helping a single vulnerable child.

My son is autistic and ADHD. He was failing badly in mainstream and it was affecting his mental health.
He had a bespoke package that included internet school and achieved 11 GCSEs. He went to 6th form and achieved 2A stars and and A in maths, physics and further maths and is now doing masters in mechanical engineering.

The ideal is for students to achieve in line with expectations academically. Socially he is having a ball having met people like him (who are much more social) and making the most of all our city has to offer to him.

HE was his passport that allowed him to escape the crap and pass directly to the good bit.

Our granddaughter was pulled out of school aged 13.
She was bullied so badly and the school did nothing. Tried to change school and the bully knew girls
and told them awful things about her and the bullying started by the end of the first day.
Her parents were able to get tutors for certain subjects. They contacted the home education trust who
gave details of groups to join for socialising.
She passed her exams and started college and has now started her own business.
She is very popular in her friendship group which formed in college.

I don't think anyone can teach as good as a teacher but if schools don't help with bullying what do you think a parent should do. Their daughters safety and mental health were more important.
The bullying consisted of cutting her hair, glue on her seat, cornering her away from teachers, put salt in her food.
All the school did was suspended the 3 girls for one day.

My kids were home educated. Eldest had to be - epilepsy, dyspraxia, autism and adhd and a very high IQ. I home educated the younger because it kept us together as a family. Big child went to school at 13 (small private), younger child went to local grammar. Both predicted all 9s at GCSE etc.

Teachers said how much general knowledge they had and a history teacher said my son was the most cultured child he had ever taught. If I’d sent them to the local primary school, there is no way that would have happened. Home education isn’t for everyone but look at the shitshow of the average state school. Btw I am a teacher with a masters (but only in English). Kids are great at maths (which I’m bad at), Latin, Ancient Greek etc which I paid for tuition for.

Both have also gone on to be people with good friends (autistic son has fewer but does still have strong friendships) despite them not really enjoying the home ed social groups we went to every week. In retrospect, I would not bother with them if I had my time over again. I just took them to things to please other people’s ideas of ‘socialising.’ Home education saved one child and really boosted the other. Most people who criticise it either don’t understand it properly or else have met a weirdo who does it. That doesn’t mean that most of us are doing it badly or abusing our children.

My son was speech delayed so his school assumed he was learning disabled and called in the EP. They were shocked when he scored on the 99th percentile and so said it meant nothing. He was still sat at the back of the class where he couldn’t disrupt the learning of others and left to doodle.

After leaving education he achieved level 9 at maths GCSE 2 years early. Still doesn’t know his times tables but easily gets a first in maths on his engineering course.

So your child can speak fluently and knows their times tables at primary. If your child is ND this is not an indicator of their potential.

What is the privilege they offer exactly? Failing to meet the needs of children, bullying that is not dealt with, suicide from such bullying and not prioritise children. But im sure you'll pull some ridiculous survey or study out of your arse again to feed into your narrow minded narrative. And its really not hugely expensive to recreate decent socialisation at all

As the mum of a child we've just deregistered because her SEN needs weren't being met in two different schools over the last 18 months, some of these comments are hard to read. Home education should be illegal?! What an extreme viewpoint.

It's still early days for us, it's feeling a bit wobbly and fragile but we're doing well and my daughter's needs can be met so much better at home than in a mainstream school where teachers, SENCOs and the LA failed her and showed time and time again they could not understand or meet her complex needs. We really wanted school to work and tried for a long time to make this happen, to the detriment of her wellbeing and mine. I did not have home education on my radar at all, it's a huge responsibility and I have had to make many sacrifices, but one of the hardest things is the uncomfortable feeling is that we've stepped out of what's considered normal and facing the silence and discomfort of family and friends, many of whom have stopped checking in, inviting us places and generally showing that they don't get it, or want to get it.

So seeing a thread like this only reinforces that fear and knowing how many people don't understand or judge parents who make this choice (I of course agree there needs to be oversight as some children are at risk) makes me feel more vulnerable and alone.

But we'll keep going, because right now it's the only safe and suitable option for my daughter, like so many others.

Exactly this . The children get more learning time per week in a well thought out and sometimes outsourcing of resources in home education than in a school setting.

Hi @MumofMaskers I'm sorry to read that you and your DD have been let down so much. Take this thread with a punch of salt it seems like it was set up by someone being goady as they haven't returned since the first day . There are also a lot of replies from people like yourself who have a different experience. Your DD will be better recovering with you at home anyway. And she will learn more.
I don't know whether you have read any Naomi Fisher or Eliza Fricker? They write stuff for free on Substack too. Also a lady called Caro Giles wrote a very good book about her experience called Unschooled worth a read if you have time or inclination.
You certainly find out who your friends are when you go through this.
You've done the right thing have faith in yourself.x

Don’t worry, don’t engage with people who are abusive. I hope you’re not involved in any child’s education

Abusive. Hilarious. Are you one of the perpetually offended 🤔. Ridiculous thing to say because someone has different opinion to you