To disagree with home ed

[Freshton]

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

They sound a lovely team of staff at that school - and what a lovely support for you and your son. I do appreciate it must be hard tho and sending lots of positive vibes ❤️

Every single person I know who home ed - absolutely has their children's best interests at heart.

For those who have opted to home ed from day one - they are some of the absolute most amazing innovative people I have ever met.

Those who worked in education and just didn't want their own children going on the treadmill mess schools have beencome

And the last group who find themselves with no option after schools have completely failed their children and caused so much damage. The parents are definitely not doing it for their own benefit.
A parent who opts to continue to send their child into a school that not only isn't providing a suitable education but is making their child unwell - explain how that would be acting in the child's best interest?

My fear would be the child turning round ans an adult and blaming me for their life chances. It’s such a huge thing to take on. And I know some teachers aren’t great but if you have many of them you spread your risk. With home Ed it’s just you.

I think the increase in home ed is a ticking time bomb. Data already indicates gen alpha are going to have more mental health problems (1 in 5, moving to 1 in 4 for girls), have lower literacy and lower digital confidence (computers and phones are so easy they don't have to know how they work). Sen has also increased or is being diagnosed more often.
Secondary school can be really hard, but it teaches social skills and resilience. If kids are taken out of the system, not following curriculum and are also not learning social skills, then what hope do they have of working and launching an adult life?

Yes would require massive systemic change but the benefits would be immense. No more long long wants for children to be assessed for SEN or access mental health care (here every school has a psychologist assigned to it and access has to be within a couple of weeks of request, and a counsellor who works in the school and gives an even lower threshold access to help. Every school has a paediatrician assigned so no need to go to the GP and more specialised care and a school nurse who is at least part time in the school and in my ideal set up home educating families would be assigned to their local school's healthcare team and have the same access (I don't know if that is what happens where I am as home education is rare and I don't know any families that do it). Health conditions spotted earlier, saving the NHS money in the long run and helping children learn better when they're not struggling as much.

I can understand the concerns but I don’t think school prepares kids for the real world either and a lot of what is taught is unnecessary, unsuitable and /or could be taught in less than half the time at home giving the kids more of a balance and quality of life.
it totally depends on the parents though. So many variables.

There is just as much risk that a child will blame you for sending them to a school that isn't meeting their needs

If you child was becoming unwell due to school like school was making my child - there is a real risk that they won't make it to be an adult who can turn around and blame you.

It's easy to make judgements when you have children that cope and learn in the school - I'm sure, it's hard to imagine what it's like when that isn't the case at all.

I would say the increase in home ed is the canary in the coal mine.
The increase is due to school environment no longer being appropriate. The school is one factor causing an increase in mental health problems.
Maybe rather than blaming home ed - they should look at why people are leaving the school.system in increasing numbers and deal with that.

When the canaries in the coal mines start passing out do we blame the canary for being weak and a problem or do we think maybe the problem is the mine

How is being stuck in a school 6 plus hours a day learning social skills in real life day to day scenarios? Ive not used any of the "social skills " I should have picked up in school throughout my life, I had to find a different set when I entered the real world

Home ed children in the UK have access to local.school.nurse system too - but it doesn't really mean much

The school nurse in the UK really is just vaccinations. Although, to be fair as a home educated family the school nurse did refer us about a concern I had. The GP dismissed it and fobbed us off.. the school nurse was very good and we now see the consultant they referred us too regularly. As home ed we had access to this service - when they were in school we didn't have that direct access as they liaised only with the school.

School nurses can be so much better than GPs because they have so much more experience with children. Especially good when its the same nurse for years who really gets to know the children in their care. The school nurse was my first point of call about DS's oversized tonsils and she immediately recognised how out of the norm they were which I'm sure helped stress the importance to the doctors - a few months later he had surgery, whereas with DD I went the GP route and was fobbed off for a while.

Whilst schools may be struggling, it’s easy to forget the privilege they offer - free education for all. So many places around the world this isn’t the case.
Whilst recognizing this isn’t the case for all, my child’s experience of (state) primary and secondary school has been hugely social and I think valuable. From parallel play and socialisation in reception and yr 1 to shared art and drama projects and trips including residential throughout primary, as well as well as sport and just a broad range of adults and children to mix with. Many connections have lasted primary to secondary. It would be hugely expensive to recreate this outside of the school and requires one parent not to be working which is privileged in itself.
I completely get that this isn’t everyone’s experience but I think it’s a real pity to just dismiss it. Teachers are hardly helped by the number of non-toilet trained or socialised kids entering school either - that’s a growing strain on resources and time.

Agree anything. Though totally appreciate if your child struggles that’s different but to reject out of hand seems bold to me. Being in groups is how you learn social skills. Both mine have lovely friendship groups from school I can’t see how I could recreate that? Don’t know any home Ed families except those forced due to sen and they hate it for their child.

Usually nitpicking and pedantic replies have a deeper reason to do so.

You’re not my English teacher and I wasn’t requesting amendments 🤫

I would love to have home educated my children but it wouldn’t have worked for us. Our personalities would have clashed and I’m simply not organised enough.

The children I’ve met who were home educated were absolutely lovely.

I do think I could have taught them up until the end of primary school. The specialist teaching at secondary might have been trickier.

I think a lot of home educating parents (that do it well) concentrate on different skills rather than passing exams. They’re developing resilience and curiosity rather than the pure results focus that schools concentrate on. One the basis that you can learn the academics at any point but resilience, curiosity are only developed at certain ages.

I think you're being a bit judgemental on a sample of instagrammers.
One thing that annoyed me with the constructions of school and the national curriculum was kids struggling to grasp things like telling the time and being left behind or never learning something because it was time to move on.

Something that makes me laugh right now is how private schools can break up in July and have 3 weeks of cheap holidays etc when school families get fined for this.
There is a lot of control and restrictions on learning for many with the school system and instead of trying to make it a better way of doing things funding is cut and control on families gets tighter.
What about school dinners ? The cost? Pack lunches the rigmarole. What time you have it what's left when your on last sitting. Prison works better.

Further to my earlier post, this appeared one of the home ed groups I’m in today, for a child who is apparently behind at school. It concerns me because if the parents have poor levels of literacy themselves, then it’s very difficult for them to help a child who is already behind. I’m sure I’ll be told I am being judgemental and unfair and perhaps I am and I’m not pointing the finger at this one person - there are posts like this every day - but I do believe there needs to be a decent level of numeracy, literacy and general education in parents who are HEing, and I see posts like this frequently from parents of children who invariably have ‘undiagnosed SEN’ or are behind at school, have behavioural issues etc.

I just don’t believe these children will thrive in a HE setting; I think it’s likely they will fall further and further behind, become more and more disengaged and eventually just opt out of education altogether.

'apparently behind in school'
And you have quoted undiagnosed SEN which suggests you don't believe that there is SEN.

Some Children are behind in school, when your child is behind and schools do nothing to support need, the child can become more and more distressed as the gap between them and their peers gets wider.
The schools refuse to reteach concepts that haven't been understood because they have to keep moving to fit in the next part.

Even if parents struggle - they can work to the child level and at the right pace for their child.

My child struggled and got no help in school. They have flourished amin home ed. Some topics i know and can explain, some topics we learn about together and some topics around their special interests they learn independently and then explain to me.

It's working for us but it isn't anything like school - which is good because school destroyed them and anything remotely school like causes flashbacks

Only just back to this thread. My eldest is the same. He’s never been such a dick that he’d disrupt the class through “boredom” though. Probably because I parented him instead of deciding not to bother with school when he was just 3 years old.

Yep,agree. The parents decided school isnt for them, without giving the kids a chance to find out for themselves. Poking about in the woods is fun, its not an education though.

tbh everyone I know who was home educated is hugely well educated as their parents were able to tailor their education. One has multiple degrees, including from Cambridge. My experience of mainstream school was an intense and unnatural social environment that ignored quiet/ well behaved kids and gave the most attention to misbehaving kids. No tailored education and a one size fits all approach. There’s a huge focus on I don’t home educate but I would if my child did not thrive in mainstream education.

As both education at school and home are equally valid methods of education, how do you view parents who decided home education wasn't for them, without giving the kids a chance to find out for themselves?

For me this is the biggest issue. Someone needs to account for the daily welfare of a child. Someone needs to check in and notice a child on a daily basis.

How would one organise that up to age 2, or to school age? Maybe if we said all children had to be in nursery from 2, there'd only be the first two years to account for.