AIBU to find constant hugging and saying ‘I love you’ unprofessional? (At work)

[theodextrey]

I work with this woman who is quite extroverted she enjoys hugging everyone daily (usually full frontal) and will say “I love you” to coworkers.

These people aren’t anyone she’s known a long time, I’ve worked there longer than her & she does this with almost everyone including new hires.

I am more introverted/quiet so these interactions make me feel kinda strange. To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

We will be on group email or text and she will sign off “I love you!!! 🩷🩷🩷”

i know people are different but to me this seems inappropriate for the workplace (corporate) and makes me feel uncomfortable.
this woman will also disappear frequently throughout the day while she’s stopping and chatting with people (usually small talk that goes on too long)

is this unprofessional or am I being unreasonable?

I also want to add it makes me uncomfortable because if I’m standing there (we work on a team of two) while she’s hugging the coworkers, they then try to hug me, which I’m not a fan of, but it would make me seem cold in contrast to her for me to not participate.

That makes me feel better as I kept questioning myself.

Many people would feel the same. I would cringe!

It adds up and takes time away from tasks getting done and work completed on time which is quite frustrating.

If we weren’t on a team of two I would not care, but it does impede on the workload

The I love you is unprofessional.

The hugging, maybe not.

I have a very huggy boss, not every day but if she hasn’t seen someone for a while.

She never does it with me because I made it pretty clear I don’t want to early on. We have a perfectly fine relationship, friendly, just no hugs!

God I can only imagine my face if someone was to do this to me.

Do you work in TV lol

Ah well that is different if it affects workload. Complain to your manager.

Weird. Unprofessional. And fake af

This would not bother me at all. All people are different and I try to accept people for who they are. It doesn’t sound like she is a bad person just annoying (to you). Her manager can see how she is, if her manager considers that she is not working enough then it’s their responsibility to raise it, not yours. Everywhere you work some people will work harder than others, you just have to accept it and concentrate on your own work.

We had one like this at work...I put a stop to it with me immediately. She tried to go in for a big, I blocked her a d stepped back. She kind of pouted and said "awww, flower, but I'm a hugger!"

And I said "well I'm not. Don't try to hug me again".

She never did. She did it to everyone else instead.

I hope the " huggers" who have responded to this post can see that there are an awful lot of other posters who find this sort of behaviour at work unacceptable.
Maybe the " huggers" need to look at the bigger picture and rein themselves in a bit!

I think you are over-engineering it tbh! It’s just who she is. I come from a Mediterranean country and as a culture we are all lovey dovey so I don’t find it strange. As long as she doesn’t do it to you, which as you mentioned she doesn’t what’s your issue? I guess she doesn’t do it to you cause she can sense you don't like it. The fact that she is an extrovert it doesn’t mean she is stupid.

To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

That's nothing to do with being on the spectrum, that's completely normal for pretty much everyone.

this may be related, I find myself getting annoyed/overstimulated because she makes lots of noises throughout the day in our small workspace. I get extremely frustrated because I can’t focus.

I don’t think she’s intentionally trying to annoy me I think she does it unconsciously.

She’s constantly singing/tapping/humming and talking so I think that is why I am very irritated with this woman aside from the I love you stuff/time wasting issues 😞

she is very loud as well. she tends to hurt my ears when she talks. I also don’t think this is intentional. Which tends to add to my anxiety and make my blood pressure go up.

haha! I know what you mean! I hate loud people in the office too. Despite the fact that I am an extrovert and I am usually considered very loud amongst my friends, when I work I love silence and I always have my headphones on!

Yikes. No way could I tolerate that.

Awful. Unprofessional conduct in my opinion and if she was working in my team I would not tolerate this for a second.
Staff should not be touching co-workers without their explicit consent. There is no need for performative hugging; some people have watched too much reality television or social media.

Excellent! 😂😂😂😂

How would people feel if it was a man doing it? It's creepy and weird and you need to set clear boundaries. I'm naturally tactile but only with people I'm close to. I'm sorry but her behavior would give me hives!

You don’t need to justify yourself by the fact you are on the spectrum because I’m sure most people would find this odd too.
I personally find this a generational thing. Almost every time there’s a reality show with people in their 20s within 24 hours they are saying “love you babe” to everyone. Whereas like you, I would never say I love you to anyone who I did not know well and actually love deeply.
Im a hugger but that is for people I know.
I don’t have the answers but just know it’s not you!

I don't think I'm on the spectrum but I would also hate this. Its just not professional. You can be friendly with work colleagues without touching them or saying inappropriate things to them. e.g. I start email with 'Dear xxxx' if I don't know them or they're very senior, but otherwise I'd probably say 'Hi xxxx'. I think its okay to get to know people a bit if they're forthcoming, e.g., how their weekend was, where they went on holiday, etc. But definitely no routine hugging or declarations of love. She needs to be spoken to formally or she's going to leave a lifetime of upset in her trail and probably be quite lonely as a result.

Of course it's unprofessional!
It also devalues real expressions of affection between people who are genuinely close. If a mere acquaintance is saying "I love you" all the time, then that phrase becomes totally meaningless.

Oh gawd ....I can't bear fakery!! (Not sure that's even a word but you know what I mean.....!)

yes its unprofessional

we have become a hugging team, one member of the team started it, this was ok. but now a number have joined in and have to hug every time they come/go and others come/go

ifs all too much and so awkward I have had to say I am not into hugging all the time this could be up to 8 hugs a day 😑