AIBU to find constant hugging and saying ‘I love you’ unprofessional? (At work)

[theodextrey]

I work with this woman who is quite extroverted she enjoys hugging everyone daily (usually full frontal) and will say “I love you” to coworkers.

These people aren’t anyone she’s known a long time, I’ve worked there longer than her & she does this with almost everyone including new hires.

I am more introverted/quiet so these interactions make me feel kinda strange. To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

We will be on group email or text and she will sign off “I love you!!! 🩷🩷🩷”

i know people are different but to me this seems inappropriate for the workplace (corporate) and makes me feel uncomfortable.
this woman will also disappear frequently throughout the day while she’s stopping and chatting with people (usually small talk that goes on too long)

is this unprofessional or am I being unreasonable?

I also want to add it makes me uncomfortable because if I’m standing there (we work on a team of two) while she’s hugging the coworkers, they then try to hug me, which I’m not a fan of, but it would make me seem cold in contrast to her for me to not participate.

This is all about manipulation and getting away with doing half the work expected of her. The " I was with my manager", tell you this in addition to her bizarre behaviour.

She sounds diagnosable quite honestly and it would make me feel really uncomfortable.

I do wonder about that, she does have health issues so I know she must not feel very good most of the time, I try to think it’s not intentional that she is dodging work but it probably is, she also loves to talk so much she frequently loses track of time

I thought I had it bad with my managers they end every message with xx.

Its just odd - or is it me? And not very professional.

@Rocketpants50- its not just you..it happened at my workplace and I hated it. Also lots of 'hugging' and 'we are a family' talk - when in fact it was a large organisation and not in the least family friendly.

Exactly! And I have no problem being friendly, greeting people, a little small talk but the rest seems so phony and disingenuous to me, I can’t stomach it, just too over the top

Do you have admin rights on the group chat? If so remove her messages with hearts and irrelevant comments saying to keep it professional so answers to questions can be found quickly

I think her behaviour is manipulative and unprofessional. I'm not a hugger, and would be backing away swiftly if she tried to hug me. Too bad if she didn't like it. Let her be uncomfortable about it. 🤷‍♀️

Yuck . I wouldn't even want my nearest and dearest to talk like that at me . As for co workers , feck off . I would have to ask her to stop being ridiculous.
What industry are you in . I can't think of any one that I've ever been in where this would be acceptable. She sounds like the most annoying person .

Exactly! I feel awkward saying it to my real loved ones. The industry is health care related.
I’ll admit this company has always been poorly ran, and not the greatest reputation locally.

I wouldn’t have this! I can’t stand to be touched by strangers and I certainly don’t say I love you to anyone other than DH and DC I would have to tell her very firmly don’t touch me

This woman sounds unhinged and definitely one to be wary of. Ive got a male colleague that always hugs me at work, I find it annoying!

Me and my best mate at work always say love you
Coz I do love her she's a massive support and a huge part of my life we spend 9-10 hours a day together and we have a close relationship despite been VERY different

However we would NEVER say it on an all teams chat on teams or WhatsApp etc

Reading lots of your responses though
..I hate to say you sound jealous

YANBU - hugging makes me cringe

Really? I get more annoyed with the time wasting, I don’t enjoy talking to people or like attention. I try to be friendly though. My social battery runs low easily

I used to work with a woman like that. She was a mental health first aider but she was one of the most toxic people I have ever met. Her own children were no contact with her. She was constantly throwing people under the bus whilst messaging love you lots and similar shite.

Maybe people who act this way are missing out on affection outside of work so they come to work for it?

I don’t understand it, to me the perfect day is talking as little as possible but I realize I’m very introverted/autistic

Of course your not be unreasonable.
it is so hugely unprofessional and very weird and irritating for someone to behave this way.

I agree with you, I love yous are reserved for special people, who you actually love! It is not something to go around saying to everyone you see. So odd !!

This all points to her being an incredibly insecure person, in addition to the behavior that started the thread. I’d be uncomfortable around her, too. Insecure people can be socially dangerous - they’ll undermine you and rip you to shreds if you threaten their “image.” I’d stay as far away from her as possible; it sucks that people can be like this.

Definitely manipulating everyone so that they feel unable to call out her lazy work behaviour. As she is sooooo lovable and KIND to everyone!!

I think it sounds more like she is jealous of you. And as you're in a team of two, in a sort of secret competition with you? Hence her getting annoyed at people complimenting you etc.

I have had dealings with a woman like this. Behind all the luvuhun-ing there was some pretty sneaky and unpleasant behaviour going on. As pp have said, it’s all a front and manipulating.

You don’t sound at all jealous, just irritated and suspicious, which is the appropriate response as far as I’m concerned.

Extraordinary. You are well within the NT range objecting to this.

It does all sound rather a bit much.
I did hug a colleague recently, she’d been working from home for a couple of months after fracturing her ankle. She lives alone, is in her 60’s and we are a really small team of 6 who work closely together a few days a week in the office, she really enjoys work for the social side of seeing other people during the week - we kept in touch via teams when she was solidly wfh and I was so happy to see her pulling up in the car park next to me, we had a lovely big hug!
and when we got into the office everyone hugged her too and our boss had made us a cake so it all ended up being rather a nice welcome back for her.
However on a day to day basis there is no hugging and no one says love you or sends anything mushy, just seems unprofessional.

Most of it is none of your business tbh. Grow up and stop stewing over what someone else is doing.

You are not required to hug though. And stepping back and saying you’re ’not a hugger’ is fine and well.