To be upset no one liked my painting?

[Whoopdedoop]

I’ve been going to an art class for eight weeks. Showed DH, DD1, DS1 and DM and DF what I did tonight and they were very dismissive of it and pointed out what was wrong with it.

I was actually pretty proud of it, and now I’m feeling a little upset. Everything they do I am positive about, and I just think it wouldn’t have hurt them to be nice about it.

But then I think I’m 50; I should be able to take criticism without getting upset.

AIBU to be upset by their comments?

Ah they’re twats.

Dh and I painted little miniature water colours one afternoon during the first lockdown. It was the copy of a postcard of a snow scene. His was so hilariously bad that we literally cried with laughter trying to say positive things about it. I remember that afternoon really fondly, weeping with laughter felt like such a release during the frightening first days of Covid.

That was very bad mannered of them. They should have found something positive to say.

Don't let them put you off doing something you enjoy.

My DP's go to comment is "are you happy with it?".
I find this equally annoying.

Yes they could have said something positive about it

Generally, like a normal person I would look for the positives in someone's effort at something they have spent time on.

However, personally - and I may be strange/have my own issues - if receiving it, I find positive feedback quite useless, as I never know it's genuine or just people being polite. A bit of criticism gives me something to work with to see something I wouldn't notice myself (or hear, if it's a musical performance etc).

I realise their comments were not meant in the spirit of constructive criticism, so may not even be valid!

What did the teacher think? I doubt your family are experts and taste in art is very specific with a lot of generalised don't likes of styles and genres.

Don't be disheartened. I'm sure they didn't mean to be cruel. 8 weeks is nothing in learning a new skill but you must carry on because soon you'll make definite progress. Just enjoy your art classes in whatever medium you're using. Practise at home. I've been painting on and off for years and still make a mess sometimes particularly watercolour but I love to do it. Your art is your art. Enjoy yourself.

I'd be upset by that too OP; there isn't an age limit on emotional reaction! Are they usually quite dismissive / thoughtless? Keep going with your painting.

It's not easy to share something you feel so vulnerable about. Did the teacher also assess your work and highlight what you did well and what you should work on?

I completely understand that if you felt proud of it you would have a anticipated some positive responses and it would have felt hard and hurtful to receive only criticisms.

You may find fellow artists are the safest people to share you work with as they would understand the difficulty of what you're attempting

As a creative feedback is so valuable to improve your skills but it takes time to learn how to give and receive criticism.

Don't let this set you back in enjoying art.

Some people are very poor at social skills and don't seem to realise that others aren't looking for their assessment (that's what the teacher is for!) and look for something easy to say. Their primary thought isn't "Here's an opportunity to say nice things to OP that will make her feel good about her efforts" but more like "Why hasn't she done it more like this" or "those colours are dreadful". There's always something positive to say, even if you don't like the work overall. The fault is theirs OP and not yours. They should be more Bob Ross, frankly.

My mum does this too, she never seems to think that she could look for something positive to say. I remember drawing a picture of a horse and tentatively showing it to her; she just criticised it - I was about eight! I recall thinking "Well that's the last time I ever show you anything". She's no better now and clearly can't think of anything nice to say if her GC show her their work. Because of this I've always genuinely found good things to say, it's not hard.

I do wonder if your family's response is typical of how they treat you generally?

Ha ha I’ve just started a painting class recently and what gets done there stays there! I wouldn’t be exposing myself to what my kids thought, or not at this stage! (though I think they would try to be nice, I would be able to tell if they hated it) As a PP said, it’s spending a couple of hours concentrating on something totally outside my normal worries and enjoying being creative that is the main point. I am actually that person who always wants to do everything 100% perfect and be the best but I try to resist that (and my paintings are helping me get over myself!)

I can see it’s a bit upsetting OP but I hope you can let it go and not worry about it.

Can you give us a peek so we can say nice things?

Rotten bastards. Post it on here and we will say what we like about it.

People will always have their opinions but it doesn't mean they are right. You have the boldness to pursue a new venture and you have enriched your life by delving into art. Ignore your family and keep your class for yourself. Use it as time to grow and to be creative - you don't need to share that with them.

Good on you for taking an art class, and I'm so sorry to hear your family were not more supportive. I'm sure your painting is great, but even if it isn't, they should have found the joy in it to make you feel good.
Your disappointment is totally justified OP.
Painting is an expression of our creative agency and if the artist says it is finished, then it is finished. There can be no flaws to find because no one else can know how the artist intended it to look.
You keep doing you and ignore them 🩷

How mean.

To make you feel better: I joined an art group a few years ago. At coffee break, everyone would wander round to view each other’s work. A bloke stopped by me and told me, “don’t worry, I was crap when I started too!”

🤦‍♀️

I've dabbled in painting and love art but realise I'm just not that good at it. I could improve with tuition maybe but I remember a class I used to go to where at the end of the session you had to show your work to the rest of the group. I soon realised there were some excellent artists there and my work was crap by comparison! I'm talking skill level, technique etc not taste.
My DP was nice enough about my work but I later realised his ex was an accomplished artist so by comparison my work was mediocre and he would have that as a yardstick maybe. It's hard to see your own stuff as others might see it and we all like different things but people can be kind without being false.
Anyway, your family should not have been so mean about your artwork. Keep on doing what brings you joy but try to avoid comparison and critiques.

I paint, I am seriously rubbish but I enjoy the process and find it meditative. I honestly don’t care what anyone else thinks - I know I’m no Van Gogh, but then I’m not trying to be. Enjoy it, keep going, you will improve and ignore people bringing you down !

Family members are notoriously dismissive. I am a professional costume maker with 30 years experience, my partner never comments more effussively than it's fine.

YANBU. It's not about being unable to take criticism, it's about wanting the people closest to you to build you up instead of knocking you down. It really wouldn't have killed them to say something nice.

Please don't let this stop you painting if you enjoy it, OP. It's not for them, it's for you.

Creating art is a wonderful thing - the process is as important as the product.

Here's what Andy Warhol has to say on the subject: "Don't think about making art - just get it done. Let other people decide if it's good or bad, whether they love or hate it. While they are deciding, make more art."

I'm with Warhol. Ignore your family. I do a lot of art - sometimes it goes well, sometimes it does not. But I am learning all the time, and most importantly it absorbs my whole being and brings me joy.

Just do it and do not let the family destroy your enjoyment.

That's just mean of them. Do they have form for this? It's not hard to say something nice. Some support for your efforts and encouragement to carry on.
Meanies.
So try not to let it get you down. Carrying on painting and enjoy it!

Exactly this - it doesn't sound like you asked them for opinions, just wanted to share an achievement. It's a shame that some people can't seem to stop themselves "marking each others' work" when that isn't wanted, kind or helpful.

art should make you feel good. You should enjoy the journey and get something mentally and emotionally from the process. Art doesnt have to be 'good' - and after all, who is the judge of good art - do they mean a perfect representation of something? thats not art, thats just being good at copying.
If you enjoy your class, if it benefits you, then thats all it needs to do. If YOU are happy with it, because you understand what it took to get you there, then thats enough.
I assume you are not setting yourself up to take commissions, its for your own pleasure? well then. They are rude.

It is shitty of them. It is possible to be kind and encouraging without dishonesty. My dad was an artist - I have not inherited his talent, but did do art to A level - he was almost certainly neurodivergent and often very blunt about other things, but he was always encouraging about my artwork, because he understood how much joy and peace can be found in the creative process. Creativity isn’t about pleasing others, it is about taking something from inside yourself and putting it outside into the world - it is a vulnerable process, art is deeply personal. Some people are dicks, don’t let them stop you.