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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset no one liked my painting?

132 replies

Whoopdedoop · 11/05/2026 23:33

I’ve been going to an art class for eight weeks. Showed DH, DD1, DS1 and DM and DF what I did tonight and they were very dismissive of it and pointed out what was wrong with it.

I was actually pretty proud of it, and now I’m feeling a little upset. Everything they do I am positive about, and I just think it wouldn’t have hurt them to be nice about it.

But then I think I’m 50; I should be able to take criticism without getting upset.

AIBU to be upset by their comments?

OP posts:
Kingdomofsleep · 12/05/2026 15:55

Manyleaves · 12/05/2026 14:01

You wouldn't expect him to say, I prefer you in a longer/shorter length or the red one's better?

My DP would. Not unkindly, and I don't always take his advice, but if I've asked for it, he's going to give it.

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Well maybe but it doesn't sound like op's family said "I prefer the oil painting you did last week to this watercolour", now did they. They just trashed it. It's the equivalent of "nah you could never pull off a dress like that"

whattheysay · 13/05/2026 08:58

Rocknrollstar · 12/05/2026 07:40

Remember - Van Gogh never sold a painting in his lifetime.

If someone painted the sunflowers and showed it to me I would think it’s not that good however I would still say it’s lovely well done.

Firefly1987 · 13/05/2026 20:10

Manyleaves · 12/05/2026 14:01

You wouldn't expect him to say, I prefer you in a longer/shorter length or the red one's better?

My DP would. Not unkindly, and I don't always take his advice, but if I've asked for it, he's going to give it.

Show quote history

I would hate that. Can't he ever say a little white lie? It's not that deep. I can't imagine many women being happy with that!

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/05/2026 21:22

Are you going to come back @Whoopdedoop and show us your painting

Whataretalkingabout · 14/05/2026 17:56

Kingdomofsleep · 12/05/2026 12:54

But making art and showing it to your family isn't "seeking external validation of your work". It's actually seeking a kind of affection.

I know my music-playing is extremely basic. My DC knows that her drawing of a dinosaur would not win competitions, and maybe isn't even recognisably a dinosaur. When I stick it to the fridge with joy, DC knows that I do that because I love her and everything she does, and love to see it, not that that dinosaur is objectively perfect. Similarly we all know that I won't be playing my new instrument in any concerts but they praise it because they like to see me tooting away happily.

Op's family seem to prefer showcasing their cutting wit than showing this normal level of affection for her. I'm cross on her behalf.

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Kingdomofsleep, you are absolutely right!

From family above all we want and need validation and a sign of affection for us, for our efforts, and as a mirror of understanding and acceptance.

Unfortunately the majority of people don't recognize that this is what is being asked. And again you are so right , the level of emotional intelligence is astonishingly low.

Why are people so miserly in showing affection these days?

DirtyBird · 14/05/2026 20:17

Gosh what happened to people being a bit kind instead of this "telling it like it is" all the time? It doesn't hurt to say something nice. I usually give constructive criticism but also compliments.

Pepperlee · 14/05/2026 21:57

Mix56 · 12/05/2026 07:35

I think that the process of initially having the courage to start, then learning, & persisting & slowly improving is something they have missed,.
The end result comes with practice, it gives you an inner peace, (in the moment) you are doing something for yourself (which for many women is something to be fought for)

You need a standard response, like “Rome wasnt built in a day”..,or “Thanks for your support Wankers”
Personally I didnt show my work to anyone for years, it was “Mine”, the only person who needs to like & enjoy it, is me !
i mean look at Picasso 😉

Thanks for your support wankers.....the best comeback on here.😅😅

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