To be upset no one liked my painting?

[Whoopdedoop]

I’ve been going to an art class for eight weeks. Showed DH, DD1, DS1 and DM and DF what I did tonight and they were very dismissive of it and pointed out what was wrong with it.

I was actually pretty proud of it, and now I’m feeling a little upset. Everything they do I am positive about, and I just think it wouldn’t have hurt them to be nice about it.

But then I think I’m 50; I should be able to take criticism without getting upset.

AIBU to be upset by their comments?

Yanbu op. I agree with the pp that critical arseholery can be passed down to children. Some people think it's clever and witty to be critical even though it's not an appropriate context to showcase your scathing criticism skills. My 5yo dd has a school friend whose family are like this and the friend is constantly pick picking at everything dd does or wears.

It made me reflect how nice my own family is. We have "art" on the walls by the kids but also some paintings I made in my 20s (they are so basic haha). I'm learning a musical instrument and everyone is very encouraging about it even though I can only play a few basic tunes "do auld lang syne again mummy". A relative of dh's writes novels as a hobby and even my mum has read one and told him how much she liked it.

People who care about each other, support their artistic efforts.

The point of painting / art is not to please everyone who looks at it. It’s about your self expression and the connotations that surround the subject etc. So I think you’ve missed the point there. Unless you are literally doing a learn to draw class where we are just talking about ‘how good’ you are.

Ignore them, it’s irrelevant what they think!
well done on doing something for yourself! Xo

I don't like many famous paintings, including the Mona Lisa or the many sunflowers and nothing happened those are still famous. Carry on with the hobby and enjoy.
Have a good time painting.

Well keep going, you are doing it for you, not fot them. Art is very subjective, just walk around the Tate Modern, thats actually the cool thing about art, you can literally paint anything or even just stick a banana on the wall and some people will love it and pay millions to have it, and others wiill think it's a pile of crap.

The thing with art is that it won’t be liked by everyone, you just showed your work to the wrong public. Don’t take it personally, they just have different tastes.

Op your family sound unkind.

Like you I have a number of creative hobbies, including painting and drawing. Right now I am engrossed in rock wrapping and I love the times I sit and create.

However- and I mean this kindly- the value of your work is not determined by them. please don't seek external validation in places that it won't be found. Your art is not for them- it is for you.

You may never make a penny from your paintings, no one may ever like them- and you know what? That's OK.
It doesn't diminish one bit the outcomes and benefits from your own endeavours.
Having a creative outlet is deeply healing, it is fun, we learn we explore, we may meet others with a similar passion.
I rarely show others my work because their opinions don't matter. If they criticise my work then it doesn't matter, I don't create things for them, I do it for me.There is a lovely word - autotelic, which describes the joy of creating.

When we create we move into a flow state, thinking mind and emotions integrating as we exist in a place similar to meditation. It is very healing and incredible for well being.
Don't stop painting- your own enjoyment, love of your work and the process are far more important than what others think. Their opinions don't really count.

I don't seek validation of my work, but I don't hide it. If a family member tried to criticise they would receive the sharp side of my tongue. My work isn't made for them, and they should refrain from being rude. Claim your right to creative self determinism!

What did the teacher and your fellow art students think of it? I'm willing to bet they were positive about it.

It's all too common to let negative comments dominate. Your family perhaps don't like the fact you're doing something for yourself that doesn't centre them, so they're looking for things to criticise. You could take any painting no matter how famous or popular and find things to criticise about it - take no notice and enjoy your hobby.

I'm also an amateur painter - I know my work isn't going to win prizes or sell for millions, I can spot flaws in it myself - the perspective here is off, the shadows there don't look quite right - but if it pleases me as a whole, that's what matters, that and the enjoyment of doing the painting.

Well done for taking up a new interest and learning a new skill, OP! Of course you won’t start off winning awards. You’re taking your first steps and exploring new possibilities. This is an exciting time. Enjoy it with the new friends you may be making in the class.

Maybe your family thought they were making useful observations? To help you improve. Don’t let it spoil your pleasure, anyway.

Some people find it hard to compliment others , it’s like showing they are less than that person. These people have the problem.
its really sad they couldn’t just be kind.

I think that the process of initially having the courage to start, then learning, & persisting & slowly improving is something they have missed,.
The end result comes with practice, it gives you an inner peace, (in the moment) you are doing something for yourself (which for many women is something to be fought for)

You need a standard response, like “Rome wasnt built in a day”..,or “Thanks for your support Wankers”
Personally I didnt show my work to anyone for years, it was “Mine”, the only person who needs to like & enjoy it, is me !
i mean look at Picasso 😉

Even if they didn't like it, you'd want your nearest and dearest to say something complimentary, even if it's something peripheral that you've obviously worked very hard at it, they can see you've improved or it's great that you've found a hobby you enjoy.

I wonder if "ripping things to shreds" was a common practice when you were a child and you've subconsciously adopted the same pattern in with your own family? I find it quite odd that 5 people all ganged up on you to be negative and none of them had anything nice to say, unless this is engrained in your family "culture". Maybe worth a long hard think about this? Anyway, particularly if your children are young, it would be worth a conversation about supporting each other.

YABU. You are not 12 years old, you don't need praise.

@Whoopdedoop
So, taking up a new activity and doing something you enjoy, whether you are good at it or not, is the thing to be proud of.
In your position I would hope they didn’t put you down by making negative comments on your art, but at the same time, I don’t think they necessarily need to rave about it either.
A simple “well done, that’s lovely” would be about the principle of doing something that is giving you enjoyment, rather than the result. Picking fault and deliberately going out of their way to say they don’t like it is about lack of understanding on their part.

DH rarely makes a complimentary comment about my paintings. When, and if, he does, then I know I have produced something worthwhile. For the rest, I don’t care. I like what I produce and I enjoy painting them. You are a beginner and it wouldn’t have hurt for people to be a little kinder.

Remember - Van Gogh never sold a painting in his lifetime.

Depends - are they in the habit of crapping on it any time you do anything that isn't about servicing their needs?

My dad is like this, I'm a polymer clay artist some of my pieces sell for £100s and every single time I've shown him something I've made he says something like "it's nice, but can I ask why have you done this bit like this? It would be better if you did this."

It's really hurtful, some people are just miserable sods, don't let them get in your heads.

How horrible of them! I would be honest and tell them you’re hurt and remind them of how supportive you are of their endeavours!

Uncultured swines. I would be upset/raging too!!

Show it off to us, I bet we will appreciate it!

We all need encouragement and support from those closest to us. Especially when trying something new.
As someone in awe of anyone who can paint anything of any standard and from a family that displays art and creative attempts from 6 upwards, even 20 years after they were created, it's unfathomable that family wouldn't encougage and be positive about any new creative endeavour. But I suppose everyone lives in different dynamics.
Don't let it put you off. Studies show learning new creative skills at any level are great for mental health. Don't let the bastards drag you down, as the saying goes.

“There is a lovely word - autotelic, which describes the joy of creating.
When we create we move into a flow state, thinking mind and emotions integrating as we exist in a place similar to meditation. It is very healing and incredible for well being.”

I’m delighted there's a word for it. 😊

Sometimes we don't want a critique, we want people to applaud that we did something new and different. Or even that we did something. I'm sorry they were unsupportive.

8 weeks is nothing! Your family were very rude. Painting is a skill that can be taught and you are very much in the learning stage. I agree that it's a good idea not to show them anything. I paint although I have no natural ability I really enjoy the process. Some of my work is quite good but the bottom line is that I'm doing this for me. Keep going!

Well done I am impressed, I do some painting and it’s very therapeutic you enjoy and ignore them x

I would be concerned that this is representative of their attitude towards you in other ways. Are you seen as the supportive one, not someone who is in need of support and encouragement yourself sometimes? Why do they expect technical perfection after eight weeks? That's surely unrealistic even for someone with great potential. Besides, it's not just about technical perfection. Personal expression is equally, if not more, important. They don't seem to understand what Art is for, nor have they responded in a considered or considerate manner to your endeavours.

As not much thought has gone into those critiques, you should not feel obliged to mull over what was said either. Do it for you, enjoy the process of creating, listen to the class teacher and your fellow students, be patient as you watch your skills improve, and illegitimi non carborundum!