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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder on the future of generous welfare in the UK

1000 replies

happybug1234 · 11/05/2026 12:51

It seems increasingly obvious that many middle-income families are becoming frustrated at how squeezed they are financially, while at the same time seeing people on universal credit receive a growing range of subsidies and support — £1 attraction tickets on days out, a 6% rise in benefits this financial year, childcare costs reclaimable through Universal Credit, housing benefit, and so on. I see thread after thread on this on this site and also increasing momentum in the media on this issue (income cliff edges etc)

In my own extended family, 1 unemployed parent with the other on min wage, in social housing appear to have more holidays and more disposable income than we do, despite us both working full time with a household income of around £95k. Once childcare, mortgage, insurances, commuting and tax are taken into account, we 100% have a lower level of disposable income than they do as they do not have any of these work related costs and their rent is paid. They have recently gone on a 2 week holiday whilst the most we can ever afford is 1 week.

Quite a few teachers in my friendship circle are declining promotion opportunities or TLR because the extra pay often doesn’t feel worth the additional stress once tax, pension contributions and childcare costs are factored in. Instead, some are putting more effort into private tutoring, which is tax free cash in hand.

What is stopping the government from addressing this as people seek to be responding accordingly in their behaviour!

OP posts:
Whatalunatic · 11/05/2026 21:37

Plugg · 11/05/2026 21:32

You fully deserve benefits because you are doing your best. The person being commented on isn’t. They are choosing to only work 16 hours as they know the taxpayer will pick up the tab for the rest.

but that's the problem....why do you get to say I was doing my best but the other poster wasn't because she doesn't work the same number of hours? who made you judge and jury? you know nothing of my circumstances. For all you know, I was previously a £100k plus earner who couldn't be bothered so just dropped down to teaching and enjoyed the benefits that came with it. Because if I'm earning less than I'm capable of, how am I different to the people you're moaning at? where is the line? who gets to draw where that line is?

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 21:37

NoUsernameAvailableAgain · 11/05/2026 21:35

The poster has already said she is choosing to work minimum hours as she won’t miss anything with her children. She’s very proud of abusing the system.

You have no clue. I am not abusing the system

AMumWithWiFi · 11/05/2026 21:37

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:32

Did you provide for your kids without government assistance? Did you use private healthcare, send your children to private school

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

PropertyD · 11/05/2026 21:38

No. We both earned equally and I never went part time.

chargingdock · 11/05/2026 21:38

Newyearawaits · 11/05/2026 21:28

Remember that the old age pension isn't a benefit

🤦🏻‍♀️

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:38

AMumWithWiFi · 11/05/2026 21:37

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

I don't understand how anyone can moan about others taking from the system when they are doing the same.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whatalunatic · 11/05/2026 21:38

NoUsernameAvailableAgain · 11/05/2026 21:35

The poster has already said she is choosing to work minimum hours as she won’t miss anything with her children. She’s very proud of abusing the system.

she's proud of putting her children first within current guidelines. Doing nothing wrong.

Wish I had done it. My children would likely say the same thing.

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:39

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:38

I don't understand how anyone can moan about others taking from the system when they are doing the same.

Some of us pay more than we take out….

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:40

PropertyD · 11/05/2026 21:38

No. We both earned equally and I never went part time.

So where are these 100k a year jobs that you need no qualifications for?

chargingdock · 11/05/2026 21:41

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:39

Some of us pay more than we take out….

The majority don’t & certainly current pensioners haven’t which is an issue now because of the changing demographics

Whatalunatic · 11/05/2026 21:41

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:39

Some of us pay more than we take out….

and some of us do essential jobs that contribute massively to society but which are not well paid.

Newyearawaits · 11/05/2026 21:41

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 20:35

I work with single mums who work 40 hours plus. Most of them have kids that never see their dads.16 hours is pathetic.

I was a single parent and worked full time because I couldn't afford not to.
I really struggled financially but it wasn't in my mindset to work part-time.
I know single parents who admit that it isn't worth their while working more than 16 hours because it affects their benefits.
I also know single parents who feel that they don't have any option but to work full time.
Definitely a mindset.
I would have loved to have been able to been involved more in my child's early years but like many, it wasn't an option.

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:42

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:39

Some of us pay more than we take out….

Yeah about 40 something percent do aslong as you don't live to long or become disabled or get a serious illness. That means about 60% don't

NoUsernameAvailableAgain · 11/05/2026 21:42

Whatalunatic · 11/05/2026 21:38

she's proud of putting her children first within current guidelines. Doing nothing wrong.

Wish I had done it. My children would likely say the same thing.

Again just because it is legal doesn’t make it morally right. I wouldn’t want to teach my children that it’s ok to do the bare minimum as the government will just pay for it instead.

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:43

Whatalunatic · 11/05/2026 21:41

and some of us do essential jobs that contribute massively to society but which are not well paid.

And that’s fine as long as you are not working part time and expecting others who are working full time to top you up.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 21:43

NoUsernameAvailableAgain · 11/05/2026 21:42

Again just because it is legal doesn’t make it morally right. I wouldn’t want to teach my children that it’s ok to do the bare minimum as the government will just pay for it instead.

PP is planning on increasing her hours when her kid gets older.
You speak of her like she will be working 16 hours once her kid is in their 20s.

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:44

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:42

Yeah about 40 something percent do aslong as you don't live to long or become disabled or get a serious illness. That means about 60% don't

I’m quite aware of the stats…but you said “anyone.”

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:45

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:43

And that’s fine as long as you are not working part time and expecting others who are working full time to top you up.

Not everyone can work full time people are disabled or have caring responsibilities. Plus there isn't enough jobs for everyone to work full time there will be even less in the future.

chargingdock · 11/05/2026 21:46

And that’s fine as long as you are not working part time and expecting others who are working full time to top you up

Just because someone is full time it doesn’t mean they are “paying for” themselves let alone others.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 11/05/2026 21:46

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:45

Not everyone can work full time people are disabled or have caring responsibilities. Plus there isn't enough jobs for everyone to work full time there will be even less in the future.

If you can’t work full time then that is fine, you should be supported. If you just don’t choose to when you are capable then that’s different

GaIadriel · 11/05/2026 21:47

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:06

It’s more fun, so of course they can manage it.

It’s only ever, ever work that they can’t do. Anything else? No problem.

My mate's brother has moved back in with his mum aged 41. He smokes weed and plays games all day. He somehow managed to buy a PS5 with his benefits. I 100% believe he could work if he had to. He just seems to feel retail work is beneath him since starting uni, failing his first year and then missing the re-enrolment date after which point he just gave up.

NoUsernameAvailableAgain · 11/05/2026 21:47

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 21:43

PP is planning on increasing her hours when her kid gets older.
You speak of her like she will be working 16 hours once her kid is in their 20s.

And that’s fine if she’s funding it herself. We can’t all just decide we want to work a few hours a week for the next 3 years because we can’t afford to.

Boohoo76 · 11/05/2026 21:47

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:45

Not everyone can work full time people are disabled or have caring responsibilities. Plus there isn't enough jobs for everyone to work full time there will be even less in the future.

The previous poster can use childcare, she has no excuse. These are the type of people that many of us have had enough of, not the genuinely disabled or those looking after severely disabled children.

AMumWithWiFi · 11/05/2026 21:48

youalright · 11/05/2026 21:38

I don't understand how anyone can moan about others taking from the system when they are doing the same.

Contributing to society through work and sending your children to a school funded by the tax you also pay is not the same as taking money from the state to feed and clothe your children because you choose to work fewer hours.

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