Is it ok for men to be in the ladies loos if they need to assist a disabled wife?

[someoneelsesshoes]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable to have felt a bit strange about this.

I went to the ladies toilets in a garden centre and there was a man standing by the sinks. I immediately went to walk out as I thought I’ve mistakenly gone into the men’s. He then said sorry and said he was waiting for his wife. He was next to a zimmer frame which I assume was his wife’s.

I felt really strange about this but went into the loo as usual. I understand maybe his wife really needed help to get on/off the loo so dismissed it. She was still in the stall when I left. But when I left the loo I checked the disabled and it was open and ready to use (though maybe it was occupied when she needed it and it was an emergency).

I haven’t come across this before so not sure if we make this concession for male carers. I know disabled people need to be supported and maybe he’s the only one who can help her.

once again, why is period blood seen as disgusting in this thread but men in women’s spaces isn’t?

This thread is mad.

My DB goes into women's loos all the time... because he has to clean them. Yes, he is allowed to be there because he has a role. And the gent in the OP was a carer and therefore had a role too.

@CaffeinatedMum why do you think he didn’t pose a threat? If my 12 year old had gone in there alone? Or any woman? Men ARE a threat, they molest women, they rape women. Particularly young and vulnerable ones. I don’t understand from what the ops posted why you’ve concluded he wasn’t a threat? Because there was a zimmer frame near him? Because he had a ‘wife no-one saw.’ Please start looking out for fellow women and our daughters and stop this ‘be kind’ nonsense.

Because using the vending machine is usually an urgent situation (been caught short). It’s obvious the person needs it quickly as why else would they pay those inflated prices if it wasn’t to deal with blood flow there and then. It’s not the same as leisurely buying from the supermarket when you likely don’t need it there and then.

Thats quite a word salad,is.that all your buzz words used for the day?

It could have been his. Men use zimmers too.

So being on your period is shameful?

There’s usually a sign up if there’s a male cleaner

My dad only goes to places with disabled toilets as he's a full time carer for his wife. The last time they went to the garden centre, the disabled toilet was out of order so a kind lady offered to stand outside the women's and politely ask any women to wait if they could. It worked OK but my dad would rather stay home than have to go into a women's toilet in normal circumstances. It's all extremely stressful though, when rotting at home or playing toilet roulette are the two choices.

No but would you want to stand there with blood all over your jeans with a man there?

I have had to use these machines in that scenario (no man there thank god).

I dont know why i stay on mumsnet 🤦🏻‍♀️ he was caring for a disabled woman and obviously disabled toilets were taken what was he supposed to do? Let her piss herself?

Legally this is not the case.

i appreciate you may want it to be the case but it is not the current situation.

But you have argued for fathers to go into the ladies.

It is

Thank you, it seems clear then that he wasn't breaking the law AND had justification for being there (making a reasonable adjustment for a disabled person).

The answer is I don't find a man helping his disabled wife disgusting. I don't find men, genetically, disgusting.

I don't find period blood "disgusting" as such either but I find it a bit gross, same as if someone was yakking up a load of snot into the sink and swilling it about, or rinsing out a diarrhoea from a reusable nappy or emptying a bottle they had pissed into.

No I wouldn’t want anyone to see me like that but it happens and it’s just as likely, actually probably more so to occur outside of the toilets where anyone could be about. You still would have the blood on your jeans when you leave the toilets

Not always. DB cleans offices, and they do not have a sign. I have only ever seen them in places like service stations and big shopping centres.
I used to clean hospital loos and we did not have a sign. You would just poke your head in and say you were going in to clean.

The gent in the OP could well have poked his head in first to check it was ok for him to accompany his wife.

show us then Ophir

I think in that situation they should use the disabled toilets or the man should wait until the toilets were empty . Obviously this would be a rare occurrence as the father should of thought about what facilities to use and where if he was taking his daughter out alone. I don't think men should be in the women's toilets or spaces at all. All men are a potential threat .

No it is not.

There is no law in the UK which criminalises an individual going into or using the wrong sex loo.

If you believe differently I would be very interested in a citation.

And please don't cite the EA which applies to organisations, not individuals.

Which bits did you not understand and I can’t help you out a bit?

Oh it is fine I understood it i just thought it made no point thats all.

I didn’t say always, I said usually

I don’t like the male cleaners in them
ejther, left one recently cos of that

This thread is mad.

It truly is! Stark staring bonkers.

Posters falling over themselves to say washing dirty knickers in public loos is fine, but some poor couple are an abomination.

And even that this man, sorry pervert, didn't even have a wife at all! 😂