Being a solo mum is irresponsible?

[niassfattie]

I've a single parent due to relationship breakdown and I'm struggling. I have no idea how my single mum by choice, aka donor conceived children manage.

The title is obviously salacious, I'm not coping at the moment and wondering how other mums do it?

It's one of the questions which really can't be answered. It depends on so many things.

I know a few solo mothers. They do absolutely fine.

How when they do everything? It's exhausting :( I need a miracle

So often you to it as there is no other choice.

Partner dies or buggers off - you get on with it as there is not much else you can do

Many single parents parent their children just fine so of course it can be done.

So was I supposed to stay with an abusive man?

Set expectations sensibly. Find ways that work for you and your child/ren. Stop getting involved in other people's parenting. It doesn't help you anyway.

Single mom of 7, yes its hard, but after 22 years with putting up with stuff I shouldn't of done, I get on with it, I work hard, I provide for my children and my house is far happier now than it was

I think the OP is asking why parents would actively choose to be sole parents from the outset.

How do they? Can't even get a pint of milk in the evening. Have a social life. Every decision is hers. It's exhausting and no break

Omg seven. Wow.

It's hard, but it can be done, and it does get better! And, I don't think being a solo parent is irresponsible. I am a single parent - my DC is the love of my life, and I would not judge anyone who made a family out of love, however they made that family.

(and, why are people so rude responding to posts??!)

I know a lady who has two donor conceived children, one of whom has Down's Syndrome. She's a fantastic mum and also runs her own business. Lots of people manage just fine. What is it you're struggling with particularly?

It's not always easier to be two parents than one. Stop thinking about being one or two.

Find your way. You don't have a lot of choices. Like the rest of us.

I was a single mum to 3 not by choice. It was tough at times and bloody wonderful at others. We are all still extremely close now they are all grown up. Routine was so important to my coping. But I really wish I had asked for more help. You will get through and you may find a new dp as I have and life is much easier now but looking back it was hard.

Every decision is yours but you don’t have to discuss or come to a compromise with another parent, you can do it all your way.

I’ve been a single parent for 8 years, by choice. I didn’t want to stay with my abuser a second longer.

It is hard to adjust at the beginning yes, but you get into a routine.

If not being able to get a pint of milk in the evening is your biggest problem, then you have it easy.

Order milk delivered from Tesco whoosh or similar.

keep a pint of milk in the freezer.

I think it's often very different to go the solo parent way from start than dealing with being single after having been a two parent family.
Or I have noticed this from friends and at work that a break up can be very hard to adjust parenting to.

It’s a nasty, judgmental title. Many people cope or dare I say even thrive as single parents. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean everyone does.

Put the kid in a buggy and walk round to the local shop if you want some milk, or deliveroo it, or plan better.

I’m single parent of two. Where does that leave me?

I could see how it could be easier to be a single mum with a very supportive community around you, than a married mum where your DH worked long hours and you lived far from your support networks.

There really wasn't a need for such a nasty title. I know a few solo mums by choice. They are all great parents.

Yes, you’re right. I was the sole parent from pregnancy as my ex changed his mind once the positive result appeared, which was less than helpful. I had nine months to adapt and was (still am) solo parent for 28 years but didn’t have any expectations. No doubt easier than adjusting further down the line.