To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

[alexandrasm]

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

Completely agree.

In the same circumstances I would offer my brother petrol money and he would almost certainly turn it down. If he offered me petrol money I'd definitely turn it down. And the idea of charging family business mileage rates is completely mad. Not in a million years would I expect anyone to pay me that.

From the person who has incessantly picked at the poster of an innocuous thread for 10 pages 😆

Op book a taxi.
Next time he asks you for a favour text him with your fees.

I would never charge a family member or friend for my time.
Fair enough you covering petrol but I’d happily give my time for people I love.

I think this is a case of Asker vs Guesser culture! Askers (aka CFs) inevitably say "if you don't ask, you don't get" but they don't care whether their request is outrageous or might offend. (In simple terms think American vs Japanese approaches to asking for a favour.)

I've a friend who is an Asker and she's a CF! I now remind myself she's just chancing her arm when she asks for outrageous favours. I used to tie myself in knots about declining cos I'm a Guesser ie if the answer is likely to be no, then I don't ask.

I think the brother has been quite astute here probably after long prior experience, and it's had the intended effect. OP has been forced to do a bit of research and find a more reasonable solution.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-life-asker-guesser

Completely agree!
Isn’t that just what you for family and friends?

I once had an accident and couldn’t drive home. A friend came on the train to get me and drive me home. Took hours out of her day and she wouldn’t even accept money for the train fare (I bought her dinner instead). That’s what good friends are like. I’d do the same for family and friends. I often pick a friend up from a train station 30 mins away. I don’t accept petrol money for this.

Is there an airport bus to Bristol from Temple Meads? You can catch it from Bath bus /rail station, so possibly from TM too?

YANBU, that's a bit shit. Full tank of petrol yeah, but wanting you to pay for his time is odd - you're his sister.

Unless, as has been said, he is very broke (if he is self employed he may not be well off.) You say he 'earns more than you' but you don't know that for sure. If he's so well paid that he's on bucketloads, then how come he has all this free time to run people around on 4 hour round trips to airports? He could have outgoings you don't know about too @alexandrasm

Have you considered South West Falcon bus? part of Megabus company. It starts at Plymouth then Exeter, 4 more stops then goes direct to the airport, £22 one way. Would your brother drop you to Plymouth or Exeter?

I would never charge a family member for time so if i didn't want to do the favour I'd just say no.

I would turn round and say, sorry you are not insured for hire so don't want to get you into trouble so will get a taxi

Well your family (you & brother) clearly aren't like that. Now you know.

In our family we do each other favours. That may involve giving up time for each other, eg giving lifts. I think that’s normal…

but your brother wants to monetise this. Not normal. If he needs the money, that’s one thing. But if he doesn’t, he’s being greedy.

You know where you stand if he asks you for a favour in future!

That’s not a offer

Oh come on though, that cost is for the year not for one 4 hour journey! I don’t think anyone needs to pay someone for their insurance and road tax for one trip, fuel is sufficient! Also when it’s a relative or close friend you don’t charge them for your time… He offered it like it was a favour, then slapped a large price on it.

Honestly think a taxi would be cheaper OP.

There is no way I'd charge a member of my own family for a lift!! Or a friend for that matter. Absolutely insane.

Op get the train, Maybe get off at Parson Street station as across the road on west st is the stop for the Airport flyer. I see lots of people with suitcases around the station I believe the flyer is also very frequent.

No, I wouldn’t give a tip.

Geez, I would never charge family or friends for my time, what’s the world coming to?!

She really doesn’t sound unhinged. Or unhappy.

Some posters have been incredibly rude to her and deserved the sarcastic responses.

The ones who are coming across as unhinged are those who think it’s outrageous that family and friends do favours for each other without financial reward.

I’d love to know why I’m unhinged 😂

@alexandrasm You're not

You’re not!

No but I want to know what that deleted comment said, I missed it 😂