To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

[alexandrasm]

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

Can't you get the train or National Express? NE is the cheapest option by far!

I’m so surprised by some of the responses on here and people saying you are the CF! Me and my siblings have dropped each other off/picked each other up from the airport many times. We wouldn’t even charge each other for petrol let alone our time, I love a nice long drive with my sisters having a natter. Can’t believe people have such transactional relationships with their siblings.

Right, so now you haven't got a "mega result" you've come to complain about it on the internet 🙄

I wouldn't even ask my partner to make a 4 hour round trip to the airport for me, so you're the CF.

Also I just remembered, one of my sisters lives overseas and I went to her wedding a few years back. DP and I travelled around after her wedding and we were 3 hours from where she lives when unfortunately we missed a flight which we needed to take as we had an excursion leaving from another city in the same country at midday the next day. She and her new spouse drove 3 hours to pick us up in the middle of the night, 3 hours back to theirs, then to the airport a few hours later as we managed to book a new flight. She never asked for a penny - we kept insisting on at least covering petrol but they wouldn’t take it. I’d do the same for her too!

(We are not CFs though so we did transfer her a generous amount for a wedding gift and fuel)

Is that £28 the drop off fee?! Which airport is that?

This is so funny. Some people are real users. Not necessarily siblings. Fair weather friends etc. Sometimes you can just give and give then when you dare to ask what is in comparison a much smaller favour, the reaction can be shocking. Dh and I have also been taught some harsh lessons about being too generous.

So you fibbed on the Reform thread when you said you still live with your parents? Last night! Ok @alexandrasm. Makes me wonder what else you’ve told porkies about on this thread

Of course get a taxi, assuming there's no public transit. First of all it's cheaper and secondly the taxi can likely get a fare each way, so less environmentally unsound.

I’d be surprised if a taxi would be cheaper. From memory, it was £80 each way ( granted it was a people carrier due to luggage space needed) to an airport less than 30 miles away. This was before fuel prices shot up so I am assuming taxis would be more expensive now.
Considering he offered, I think the additional me time is a bit off if you’d already said you’d pay the fuel however you should also factor in wear and tear too.

I don't think many responses are saying he should charge, they're just saying they'd never expect the favour in the first place. I'm surprised because semi-regularly I drive 4 hours to my parents or to the Channel Tunnel to get over to France and problem comment a lot how far it is but this brother is going to drive for 4 hours for no longer real reason (other options are available) and people are acting like he's nipping 10 minutes down the road to the supermarket.

Why is nobody saying hang on, he's family. Fair enough you paying for fuel but in my book families do anything for each other, thats what its about, this whole thing is just weird. Sorry you've been treated like that.

Not much of a favour is it . I’d forget him and make my own way there remembering his generosity next time he needs a lift .

I think what he’s communicating here is: ‘I cannot be arsed. Would much rather have a lie in, or do some work that’ll hang over next week, instead.’

A bit like when you get a quote from a tradie & it’s outrageous, because your job is too small/fiddly/inconvenient for them to want the work, but they don’t want to get a reputation for being unavailable, & if you’re daft enough to pay their inflated price then fair enough, they’ll do it.

So I would just get a taxi quote & - assuming it’s lower & the prices you see online aren’t just to lure you in - tell db it’s cheaper that way, so you’ll do that unless he wants to match it.

That way you get the cheaper option, he gets his lie in if that’s what he prefers, no one has needed to fall out over it…

I’ve seen quite a few people on here saying op should pay her brother as it would still be cheaper than a taxi, or that she should pay petrol and ‘wear and tear’, and even that she should pay him the amount a taxi would cost + a tip.

Standard car insurance would be invalid if your brother is making a profit from any payment he receives for the journey

I wouldn't expect someone to be out of pocket by doing me a favour. So as he wouldn't have been working that day anyway I think only paying for fuel and food if you stop off somewhere would be fair. Unlike a job, a favour is free, the time spent doing a favour is free.

When you tell him you are going to make other arrangements, I would ask him, as he thinks payment for his time is fair, why he hadn't offered to pay you £18+ per hour when you have done favours for him in the past. I can't imagine how he would answer that without saying indirectly that he and his time is more important than you and yours.

It isn't. An offer is when someone suggests that they do something for you, unasked. A spontaneous gesture.

You asked him, so it wasn't an offer on his part. You asked and he agreed to do it.

I can’t believe you’re replying again the next day you absolute weirdo!

I added tip cos if the taxi fare was £100 and you woukd normally give a tip and chose £5 then give your brother £105.

Sorry, are people actually paying and even tipping their family members for doing them favours? Sad!

Who pays a family member the same amount as a taxi. Isn’t that why most people ask family?

There’s no way I’d charge a family member the same amount as a taxi, fuel expense would be enough.

That being said, I’ve never taken someone in my family that far nor would I ask a family member to take me.

What a horribly transactional view of the world.

I am thinking of who I would "give four hours of my time for nothing." It definitely includes my kids, my parents, my in-laws, my sister and my best friends. It would also include my wider community (volunteering etc )

Except I wouldn't think of it in those terms at all. And I am hugely grateful for the times when many of the people above have done the same for me.

Why does that matter?

OP said it’s flexible so can pick the hours up at another time so he’s not losing money and OP said she would cover fuel.