To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

[alexandrasm]

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

Would you like the screenshots to prove it? This thread has been nothing but bizarre since the start

When are you due to go @alexandrasm ?

Sometimes people come on here and ask the most bizarre question of strangers. We’re not your mum or your friends. I’d personally have this kind of chat with a friend. Not ask a load of strangers on the internet like this is a serious topic. It’s not advice you need, is it? You’re just having a moan and want us to back you. We’re not that that interested, especially when the thread goes on belligerently with no self-awareness. It always strikes me that these kind of posters are immature. Doing a bit of self reflection and growing up OP and sort it out with your brother directly. Tell him you thought petrol would be enough and have a chat with HIM.

Yet here you are responding and giving (rather patronising) advice.
People can ask whatever they like. You don’t have to respond.

100 for a two hour journey sounds cheap to me. I regularly pay 75 for 45 minutes .

Just my opinion based on the responses we're getting, not at all patronising.

I thought you came across as incredibly patronising. It might not have been your intention but that’s how it comes across.
If you’re not interested why are you engaging?

Really, well I’m telling you I’m not. I was interested at first but these threads where people ask for help then don’t want to listen in the end bore me. OK

Yet you're still here...

She did listen. This issue on this thread was other people not the OP!

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt your family offers no “zero support” and you have no relationship with your siblings and yet you would still do a minimum 4 hour round trip to take them to the airport? There’s being helpful and then there’s being completely taken advantage of…

How much wear and tear on the car do you think there's going to be for a few hours of driving😂

I have zero support from parents. My mum was killed when I was in my 20’s and my dad does very little to help me and no longer lives in the UK.
My brother is in prison. I have no relationship with him.
My sister is 22 years younger than me so we don’t have a close relationship. I’d give her a lift to the airport if she asked though.

I’m close to an aunt and cousin and happily do favours for them. And vice versa.
My husband’s family are ‘family’ and we help each other out.
I also consider my friends my family and we do favours for each other all of the time. A lift to the airport is nothing - it’s considered a small favour.

Is that acceptable to you? I’m assuming you’ve trawled though other threads to find my previous comments. Hopefully the fact my mum was murdered and my dad has abandoned his family is enough for you.

I am very sorry about your mother

I am sure you can understand then that families are different and so for some - doing 4/5 hour round trips to the airport simply wouldn’t be appropriate

"Appropriate"?

Appropriate in the sense of not to be expected or unusual that doesn’t happen in some families. Because of the dynamics

Appropriate in the sense of not to be expected or unusual that doesn’t happen in some families. Because of the dynamics

Where have I said that I don’t understand that families are different? Believe me, I’m probably more aware of that than most.

However, I don’t think it’s abnormal or inappropriate to ask family and/or friends for help.

I feel like you were after a bit of a ‘gotcha’ moment with me and I’m not sure why.

You think it’s “abnormal” not to ask family or friends irrespective of the family dynamic, background or whether indeed they have any contact?

I find it sad that some people can’t seem to comprehend receiving and offering favours from friends and family, and that everything in life needs to be a business transaction - very sad state of affairs.

It would never occur to me to ask my sister to pay for “my time” to take her to the airport.

Even if you and your sister had a torrid history and weren’t even remotely close?

No. Read what I’ve written.
I’ve said it’s not abnormal to ask. That’s different to what you’re suggesting.

If your family dynamic means you don’t ask for favours then that’s fine. But it doesn’t make the opposite abnormal or inappropriate. Which is what some people have suggested.

Can I ask why you’ve decided to specifically pick up on my posts? There have been lots of people saying they consider asking friends and family for favours normal behaviour. Yet you seem to be taking my posts personally.

I don’t think any poster has said it’s “abnormal” to ask. I do think posters have commented that it’s odd to think that asking someone is the same as offering.

Would I do this for my siblings? Hell yes!

Am I remotely WTF that in other families with different dynamics that are saying Hell no? Absolutely not

I asked earlier in this thread why someone was being so gleefully spiteful about a stranger on the Internet, and someone helpfully pointed out that it's because they are a troll. Don't give Avoidtheloo more of your time.

My point is that family dynamics drive whether or not it would be strange to ask for this favour

Some people have definitely commented that asking for a lift to airport is considered CF behaviour.

Again I’ll ask… where have I said that people should be asking for favours even if their family dynamics mean it’s not the done thing? Why have you specifically picked on my posts?