AIBU to say no to grandparents taking children abroad?

[Melissax90]

Hi everyone
I am looking for some options on something.
I have a DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) and my in-laws have asked my opinion on letting them take them abroad on their own, specifically to Spain. I wholeheartedly trust them completely and know they would be completely safe but still for me it is a hard no. I don't like the idea of them being in a different country especially if they needed me and I couldn't get there quickly.
My partner has said its completely my decision but he seemed quite open to the idea and although he hasn't said it I think he might feel I am being unreasonable.
So just for piece of mind, what does everyone think?
My decision is no and won't change but I'm just intrigued to see others options
x

Definitely not at that age, I wouldn’t even consider it. Maybe once theyre young teens.

Cant you all go. You and your partner could enjoy some free time on your own as they are clearly happy to take charge of the kids

Maybe it's entirely irrational, but I wouldn't feel comfortable either, especially when they are so little.

Yes all go,defo not the kids without you,that makes no sense.

I’d suggest working towards something in the coming years, personally. It’s great you trust them and have a good relationship and it would be useful if your husband backed you up on this. If you’re not comfortable just don’t do it as they are very young.

How old are the grandparents?

I think they are prob a little too young. We have done it, but it was somewhere I have been going since childhood and know very very well and I went with them but left them for the rest of the summer, DS1 did it solo when he was maybe 8 and then with his brother when they were 8 and 10. I think it might have been a lot for my parents too when they were younger.

Only you know your kids though and if it doesnt sit right, then it doesnt sit right.

I wouldn’t hesitate in saying “thank you but no”.

Not a cat’s chance in hell would anyone be taking my children that age abroad without me present

That's a very young age , my parents took my daughter abroad for a week though at age 5 ( almost 6 ) but they have a great relationship , see each other really often ,
and it helps that she’s not a clingy child and never has been .

No I wouldn't be comfortable with those ages either, I think both at primary school is a time to revisit it.
Could you go together for the first few times?

I have a 3.5 year old and I couldn't imagine him being taken to a different country without me, he's too little. He's never had a night away from me, though tbf grandparents have not offered as they don't want to be woken up at 6am 😀

I think they are too young to be away without their parents i think they would miss you and you are likely to fret, can't you all go and the grandparents can take them out and about,?

My pil once arranged to host several cousins for the week.

they phoned the parents within three hours.

they might think they can cope but if they can’t it’s a long way away.

if you do want to entertain this (and I wouldn’t) do a trial run in this country first

Holiday with the in laws 🤣 fuck that

Have they had them for a decent length of time before? I’m assuming it would be for a week if they want to go abroad.

if they’ve not taken them away for that amount of time already then I’d think they’re hugely underestimating how tiring / full on it’ll be for them.

I’d be suggesting a UK 2 night mini break instead and seeing how they get on. They may decide it’s really not for them after all.

Seems very young unless the gps are very involved and provide childcare so very familiar with their routines? Even then I'd say no to another country until older.
3yr olds can be a handful particularly in a hot country.

At those ages no. I’d want to be close enough I could come and get them or go help if needed.

I agree, a bit too young with swimming pools etc around. Agree to let them down gently and say maybe in the future. I’d say about 8+?

Hard no from me for another decade at least !

Definitely not until both children are confident swimmers. The grandparents would need to be watching them like a hawk, and never let them be alone in the water.

Uk break, with no swimming involved, yes, but otherwise no way.

Not at that age. Mine are 13 and 11 and I would be okay now.

Absolutely not.

Nope. Not a chance and I have the best parents and in Laws. It is honestly a bit weird tbh. All together sure - we had the best holidays with family when kids were small but I absolutely wouldn’t be happy to send them off to be a long away from me

I left my eldest under 2 with grandparents whilst we went for a 3 night trip to another country. He was fine and I trusted them completely. Depends if you are bothered about it or not. We then left them age 6 and 8 to go to the US for 6 nights. Also fine.

That's completely different. In this case, it's the grandparents wanting to take the children on holiday. Unless we're told otherwise, not to a country where they speak the language or have extended family.