To think that this person was house angel etc ..

[onlyaparatraik]

Just wondering what you think and need your opinion please.
A woman I know very well is soft, loving and kind a home to her husband and family.
she runs the home super efficiently, is a full time SAHM to adults and basically manages her husbands clothes, meals, past times and social life.
Gos friends don’t like her. They accuse her of being controlling, bossy towards him and largely opinionated.
He says she is entirely different at home albeit with a secret alcohol addiction . Secret to outside the family. Relationships were th husband and children are breaking down.
is this the very typical house angel scenario?
I need objectivity please as I’m too close to the family.
just your thoughts please

I think the phrase is actually street angel, house devil as people are usually better behaved with people outside the home.

Who is Gos? (the person whose friends don’t like her)

SAHM to adults... So really a housewife then

Thank you to those responders who have not been deliberately obtuse.
The lady in question loved her role as a SAHM and was quite adamant that this would be her life even if at times, financially it was difficult and she had the means and training and experience to work.
She loved it so much, she refused to let anyone cook or clean. But, she then started to ask her husband to stay in if friends asked him to meet and he did without fail, always.
Her home was her palace.

She is an alcoholic and she drinks vodka throughout the day. Sometimes lemon flavour, sometimes peach. However, she paces it so that she can present an angelic persona outside the house. She makes a very good banana bread. And gives a good blowjob. Even Gos agrees with that bit. Hope this helps op.

' Gos' should be 'his' I'm guessing

I'm presuming that you're saying his friends don't like this woman and thing she's controlling but the husband is saying the woman is lovely in the house? Is that right?

Well end of the day, he’s the one who has to live with her & married to her so it’s nobody elses business.
House angel.. what a bizarre terminology.

Yes thank you.
Exactly this.
I dont need advice regarding my involvement in it and GOS was a typo for His. Sorry.

Essentially, yes.

Thank you Purple!

Wish some OPs would just re-read before posting. It takes a minute to do and avoids all those “obtuse” requests for clarification.

OP, YABU

I mean it's possible.

Who knows who's right. I don't we can tell

I mean it's possible.

Who knows who's right. I don't we can tell

Alcoholics are unpredictable in all sorts of ways and aren’t necessarily going to fit nicknames or behaviour patterns.

im not sure why the situation presents a problem? The man’s friends think she’s abusive and he says not? Surely this is his problem?

the woman is probably bored out of her brain and behaving erratically due to her alcoholism

She could be a covert narcissist.

I'm sorry but I genuinely don't understand?

Her husband says she's lovely at home, a 'house angel', but he also says she's a secret alcoholic, stops him meeting his friends, and his and their children's relationships with her are breaking down?

That's not someone who is lovely at home?!

I think someone’s stolen her vodka ..🥴

Is it that the woman expects some companionship for giving her life to her children, husband and home?

The idea that someone wholly loves this role (and finds it completely fulfilling) would be unusual. It is more usual to look back across time see what you've sacrificed and want some recognition, help and support for your next act.

Maybe that's where the numbing alcohol comes into play ?

My mum. Although now she's in her 80s she's finding it harder to keep her nasty side hidden, so people outside the home are getting to know the real her.

No one can possibly know except for the people directly involved. It's possible that she is indeed controlling and opinionated, but it's also possible that he thinks these things because he's outsourced all of his life admin to her, and that he thinks women should be quiet little mice without opinions. Who knows?

I doubt it. Gossips do gossip, there doesn’t have to be a reason other than spite and nastiness.

Are you this person?

She has a variety of past times and a strong social life with friends but only drinks excessively at home.

I cannot stress enough that the lady in question had insisted all through marriage and child raising that she takes control of home/ family life while husband works outside home but is a very involved father and loving husband.

House Angel made me think of someone who breaks into your home and cleans it

I don’t understand the relevance of this point?