You fool, you idiot!

[coulditbeme2323]

There were a couple of threads on MN yesterday about what posters spend their money on. One was about a slice of cheesecake in London and the other the cost of a toastie in a Garden Centre.

Neither items were cheap, but I thought there was a lot of rude comments such as "only idiots pay that" or "you fool."

Now MN is for debate and there is nothing wrong with disagreeing, but is name calling really fair just because people choose to spend their money on different things.

100% agree with this. I've got no issue with people spending money on 'little treats' rather than always going for the more frugal option, but the problem is that sometimes what people class as 'little treats' a) add up and b) really aren't worth it.

e.g. getting coffee and sandwich from pret, or wherever, every single day. It's rarely nicer than anything you can just make yourself with a decent cafetiere or nice ingredients at home, and it's actually pretty expensive now, so it's neither a 'treat' nor 'cheap,' and it's not even convenient as you have to leave the office to go and buy somewhere, stand in a queue and rush back, or get up earlier than you normally would.

However buying an ice cream at the beach rather than lugging round a cool box all day is both a treat and more convenient.

Same with the airport example. It's not like you're choosing between delicious gourmet food for £11 or sandwich from home with free water for 50p. Airplane food is usually grim as well as hugely overpriced, so it's not a treat.
Tbh unless your flight is over 6 hours I don't really see why most adults need to eat at all, I'd just wait until I'd landed and get something decent.

Sorry - that was to @LadyMacbethWasFierce

Well said. I couldn't agree more!

You don't take the food and flask in. You eat and drink in the car.

I've posted my opinion on it already. If you are having the food as a treat, suck up the cost. If you don't want to spend then don't.

I reckon that these forums bring out the type of person who needs to feel superior.

I have mixed feelings:

• love the "Why do you care so much". Not realising the irony of them caring enough to post about someone else caring enough to post!
• hate the ones who show either a lack of empathy or, worse, cross-over into cruelty.

I also hate how it acceptable the word "stupid" has become. I remember being called stupid when I made a comment about Boris Johnson. Thanks for that political analysis.

On a side note (will probably get flamed): I do think that enjoying the sensation of righteous anger is a fairly common british characteristic. And this forum bubbles with it.

Ok. Who on earth goes to the garden centre and then has tea and a snack in their car? If you don't want to pay cafe prices, why would you not just go home and enjoy your tea and snack in comfort?

I think this forum is the absolute proof of your last point!

the flight I take a few times a year, is only 4.5 hours, but leaves at 7 am. I leave the house at 4 am to get there for 430 ish. I am not ready for food. I am starting to get ready around 8. So I eat on the plane.

Thank you @Daughn. It’s actually my daughter’s birthday today. She would be 25. DH and my other children and I have come away to a little cottage to just be for a few days. I am just taking things day by day. You are very kind.

We should do whatever suits us. I often take food on a day out but buy hot drinks in the cafe. Partly due to it being easier with allergies and partly because I am not actually really bothered about food and often prefer my basic ham roll to the expensive fancy stuff in the cafe.
If I am out with a friend I will happily buy a cake and coffee in a cafe for the pleasure of sitting and chatting with them.
I will have a good meal out in a restaurant.
I am happy to pay for good food and and a pleasant experience, but I am not happy to pay for often mediocre food on days out because it is convenient.

I am quite surprised at some of the replies on here. There are times for taking your HM sandwiches (I bake my own bread, so if we are going to France on an early morning shuttle, then I will make egg mayo or tuna mayo sandwiches, because they are far better than anything you will get this side of the channel) for convenience and choice.
I watch Youtube food and hotel review videos. Some of the restaurants are ridiculous prices, but if it is a one off special and you know the food is going to be fantastic, then £150 to £200 for two with wine might be doable, because I can't remember the last time we have eaten out. If we stay at a hotel or do self catering here or in Europe, then we would normally pay £100 to £120 a night, but last year was a bit special and I booked a nice hotel in Edinburgh for six nights at £350 per night. It was stunning and my wife and I really enjoyed the stay.
Everyone is different and everyone has to get the best they can afford and be happy with.

Agree re people being unnecessarily rude. Also as PPs say, it's complicated. I actually budget quite carefully when food shopping and I totally support anyone who doesn't want to pay over the odds for a cafe or airport sandwich/coffee and brings their own.

But when I do pay for these things I'm not just chucking away silly money on a few ingredients because I'm an idiot. I'm paying for a nice experience, a treat, not to have to prep/carry/wash up, sometimes to support a local business, etc.

Is Elton John (and the like) an idiot for spending £££££ on fancy outfits or fresh flowers? No IMO, he's chucking his money into the economy where it benefits people and pays their wages. It's not being "wasted" or disappearing.

Had this conversation with a newlywed friend when her new MIL insisted on her and new husband always taking flasks and sandwiches on days out etc to save money. She couldn't get through to her MIL that she wanted to have coffee in a nice cafe sometimes. Because she could afford it and she liked it.

Someone who is only eating because they are hungry.
The garden centre might be 25 miles away from home.

Why?

There is toxicity on the site, much of it coming in from Facebook links, but my experience is that it’s mostly located within AIBU; and sometimes the ‘Active’ and ‘Trending’ lists push it into topic boards like Chat, Relationships and Boarding Schools.

It’s very easy to hide whole topic boards, like Feminism: Sex and Gender Discussions, if they’re not your cup of tea. That particular thread does get targeted by activists who aren’t posting in good faith, but MNHQ deal well with it on the whole. JustineMN strikes a good balance, I feel.

Three reasons people call others names on a chat forum.

1.They do so just to rile others up.

2.They never learnt the art of adult conversation.

3.They wouldn't say boo to a goose face-to-face, so they hide behind a keyboard to vent their cowardly spleen.

It's always been the same.

25 miles isn't that far. You could do that trip and back in under two hours with plenty of time to browse - no need to bring snacks and drinks unless you really want to. But anyway, if I ever spot anyone eating a home-made sandwich in Nottcutts carpark while I'm there buying my annuals (and possibly a latte), I'll know it's an MN user!

Yes, I did immediately! 🤣

I love eating and drinking in a parked car, especially when there’s cracking views and a sea breeze. I have a special tartan thermos flask for this very thing.

I agree. Value is personal and situational.

I'm happy to pay to eat out in a nice cafe somewhere even if I'm overpaying and the product is not objectively worth it. I took my DM out for lunch the other day, and we had a lovely meal even though the food was mediocre. The whole experience was worth it.

But I won't pay to eat out at theme parks and busy attractions. It's got nothing to do with being mean, it's just that the restaurants are always poor value, noisy have long queues and are absolutely rammed. So long as it's not raining, the kids and I prefer to find a quiet spot of grass somewhere to have our sandwiches and recharge peacefully. I'm not spending money to be actively stressed out!

🤣 I love cheesecake, these people are ridiculous.

Surely people themsleves are best left to judge how to spend their resources.

I remember DH flipping out once as MIL tried shamed him for spending £2 on second hand magainzes ifrom market stall n his area of work with something useful in. She tried to stop DD1 spending £50 on old maps - linked to her area - she'd just been given a lot in Chirstmas money. In both cases she just upset them but she's usually incredbily generous to both she just didn't see the value as it wasn't something she valued.

We've taken packed lunches and bought - which we do depends on many factors. One of which is we don't drive so have to carrry stuff on us - sometimes its worth doing that - especially if food is very expensive or long queues or unsure where we can eat - other times it's nicer not to.

I was on the garden centre toastie thread and I can't say it struck me as particularly rude or uncivilised. There were some comments suggesting taking your own food and drinks and various people quoting prices they'd experienced, both cheap and expensive, but taken as a whole, it wasn't the kind of bun-fight you're implying, OP.

I didn't see the one about cheesecake.

I've linked to the cheesecake upthread @InterestingDuck .

This was expensive? | Mumsnet
I got in first but the OP was '£32 😬 for a quick bite to eat...'. No mention of meeting friends or anything.

Everything has gone up | Mumsnet
If I was meeting friends or relatives I'd pay.
If I was nipping to a garden centre to browse or buy plants, I'd probably take a bottle of water and something to eat with me or would have eaten before I went.
Absolutely delicious cheesecake with good company in a location you're unlikely to go again? Yes, why not if you can afford it.
As for name calling, there's a mix of people on here and not all of them are polite or rational human beings.

But you started a thread complaining about the cost of things. And the example you chose was your £19 Michelin cheesecake slice. It was just a bit of an odd example with which to make your point.
I don’t support personal insults though.