You fool, you idiot!

[coulditbeme2323]

There were a couple of threads on MN yesterday about what posters spend their money on. One was about a slice of cheesecake in London and the other the cost of a toastie in a Garden Centre.

Neither items were cheap, but I thought there was a lot of rude comments such as "only idiots pay that" or "you fool."

Now MN is for debate and there is nothing wrong with disagreeing, but is name calling really fair just because people choose to spend their money on different things.

I occasionally take a flask / bottle of water and sandwiches with me, usually when going somewhere without a reliable nearby source of delightful food & drink.

When dc were small, one of their greatest excitements on a day out was that we were going to have 'A PICNIC!!!!' and they loved us taking our own food instead of eating in some cafe.

I think it's about seeing value as well.

Out garden center used to have a soft play, but the food was terrible so I chose to only have a coffee and not pay 11quid for a panini that was like cardboard.

Then my husband and I will happily pay £1000 for dinner on our anniversary at a place love.

That's your right. To each their own.

I actually have joined the flask and sandwich brigade recently. I'm tired of being ripped off with overpriced, tiny coffees and underwhelming sandwiches. I'm proud to be bringing my own.

Can I afford to buy these things outside? Yes, 100%. I've changed my priorities though and I'm happy with my choices. I don't judge people either way.

Which is fair enough.

But you really would be a fool to start a thread about the COL crisis whilst telling everyone what you paid for dinner.

They're two very separate topics.

Exactly this. If you want to spend £19 on a slice of cheesecake or 1k on dinner go for it but then don't moan things have got expensive or you can't afford to live. Its the equivalent of someone moaning they have a headache but refusing to take a paracetamol, its annoying.

@coulditbeme2323 , As pp, it was me and the OP said she'd gone to a local garden centre.

It sounded like she'd only driven a few miles down the road and decided to eat there on a whim.

If I was going to a garden centre, I'd take the car because I might buy things. I would consider that I might be there a while so might be hungry or thirsty, so would either eat before I went or take something with me.

Had the OP said that she was meeting friends for lunch at the garden centre, I would have answered differently.

Tbf if you pay those prices i have no problem saying you're a fool, you're an idiot, you're a slot* *badger, you're a two pin din plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small been regarder.

Maybe I'm a fool, but I don't go to garden centres to eat cheesecake sandwiches, no matter what they cost.

I take my flask and sandwiches to work or the beach or whatever. But I'm guilty of spending far too much on flat whites and something nice in a local coffee shop and being thrilled when my loyalty card is filled.
I do think tapping cards as opposed to handing over cash means you notice prices less. But I do love a National Trust cafe for people watching.
OPW cafes in Ireland which are the equivalent...I take my flask there because the cake is dry.

I saw the post about the £18 (?) cheesecake, didn’t read much of the rest of the thread though.
It wouldn’t occur to me to call the poster fool or idiot. I’d think they surely had their reasons for wanting to try that particular cheesecake, so why not.
Reminds me of a recent thread where the op called for people to stop buying expensive things so that the companies that sell them would lower the prices.

Omg!! Me too.

See I’d just lean into that and rile them up more. Start mentioning takeaways and hand-finished chocolates and Pret. Really get them going!

I mean there have been times I have had afternoon teas and handmade pasta delivered to my door!

I think the 'fool' and 'idiot' came about because the OP was moaning about the COL crisis at the same time?

There's lots of different things being conflated here.

One is that the service, restaurant and retail industries depend on people paying 'silly money' for things; products, meal, services that aren't entirely necessary. So many people's jobs depend on this.

Another is the virtue of home-made sandwiches. I will never get over the soggy tomato and flaccid cheese sandwiches of my childhood, but I guess they have cooler bags now?

The other is the experience- I love leaving the house without faffing around cutting up bread, cheese and eating awful sandwiches, and I like being in different environments and eating different types of food. I find it relaxing, one less thing to worry about. Many people don't enjoy either the food or the environment, entirely understandable.

Finally, I do think it's fine to moan about price rises, because these impact the whole economy and drop the standard of living for ordinary people who might have 'treated' themselves in the past and are now stopping doing that.

It's a mystery how global chains like Costa keep going when no self-respecting mumsnetter would ever set food in one!

I’ve not come across this irl, only on tonnes of threads on Mumsnet. The bit that seems unecessary is turning a difference of opinion into a reason to personally insult a PP. Ie. ‘You fool’, ‘only an idiot would do that’, etc etc. whatever happened to thinking ‘why would someone do that,’ and ‘live and let live’ rather than ‘They’re clearly an idiot and inferior to me and my decision making!’. I agree with you OP.

Some people are coeliac and can't get a gluten free sandwich on the plane or often even at the airport.

COL crisis has massively impacted the dining out sector, and so many bars and clubs are also shutting, it's not a money-maker any more. It might also affect the quality of the food you can prep at home and take out, the cost of attractions, a lot of these things are slipping out of the reach of your everyday family and that begs the question of who is going to keep going to them and will they survive? The market is brutal for jobs right now, which impacts mumsnetter's children, who won't be doing part-time waitressing jobs if all these places close, will they?

I agree. Sorry, I should've been clear - I meant that people get weird and personal about this stuff on MN which then descends into insults.

IRL I think people either don't give a shit about other's spending, realise that people have different priorities or they just quietly think "They've got more money than sense". And then move on with their lives. Only on MN do people seem to get really riled up about what others spend.

The friend is the sort who'll get a takeaway when they can't be arsed to cook and eats expensive snacks and treats (e.g.pistachio nuts and fancy chocolates when 52p peanuts and a bar of Lidl's cheapest would have done).

Yes ... once they grow out of the pram, and require more food and water, you become a kind of pack-horse. My main memory of those museum trips and playground days is of my aching shoulders. In hindsight , I wish we'd splashed out on more cafe food at the time

I think as with so many things it's a balance isn't it?

We've got one child, I don't find making a few sandwiches and sticking some crisps and an apple in the backpack I need to carry anyway with wipes and spare clothes and suncream etc. Plus half the time it's my husband who would be making the picnic anyway.

I also don't particularly enjoy the food that is served in a lot of day out/ kid friendly type attractions, and wouldn't find sitting in a busy and overpriced chain place to be adding anything particularly to my day or making me any more relaxed than sitting with a picnic would achieve.

If we're going somewhere with really tasty food options then I'd be more inclined to forego the homemade sandwiches - but overall being one of the flask and sandwich 'brigade' allows us to afford more days out, and more experiences overall.

I do too. Especially when they offer to share! I was once treated to full on bajis, samosas, rice, all made with love by the mother at the crack of dawn that day. So much better than mass produced aeroplane shite.

"luv"....oh dear.

Why?

Is that a song 😁