You fool, you idiot!

[coulditbeme2323]

There were a couple of threads on MN yesterday about what posters spend their money on. One was about a slice of cheesecake in London and the other the cost of a toastie in a Garden Centre.

Neither items were cheap, but I thought there was a lot of rude comments such as "only idiots pay that" or "you fool."

Now MN is for debate and there is nothing wrong with disagreeing, but is name calling really fair just because people choose to spend their money on different things.

I joined Mumsnet last summer. I was hooked by one of the questions (something about a woman having asked her husband to sell his London flat as she was scammed by a friend, and then she quibbled n the shops about him buying a pricier toothpaste and made him put it back).

But I've increasingly noticed that some people are just RUDE. Some of my perfectly reasonable answers have been shot down and I too have been called "stupid". It's absolutely ridiculous! Surely OPs want a variety of answers? Not just being told they're right and everyone else is wrong?

I have not been disrespectful or rude, but Jesus, the way some women quote you and respond is bizarre! A lot of it stems from a hatred of men.

Some restaurants do, yes...but I also know a few hotel/restaurant/bar owners and none of them are struggling. Little places yes, but local to me is mostly big family businesses that sell the 'family' bit but are millionaires.

If its generally about ppl who choose to overpay for food and not a direct insult there is nothing wrong with it, we have a right to an opinion as long as you aren't bullying someone

Isn't "overpay" a matter of opinion though.

That’s not really the point though, is it?

MN is the wild west.

I agree! my husband is flying to Canada for 10 days on Saturday, and he will eat in the airport and just take a bag of trail mix on the plane, I on the other hand, fly to Canada May 30 for two weeks. I will have my cream cheese and cucumber sandwich packed in my cabin bag, and will enjoy it with the free tea on board. Not because I am being tight, but after a bowel resection I prefer to eat something I know will not cause me any issues, especially in a tin can in the air for 4.5 hours! Mind, as soon as I land, I will be hitting up Tim Hortons for a nice tea with real milk (only get UHT here) and more than likely a sickly sweet apple fritter donut lol.

There is of course absolutely nothing wrong with not patronising businesses that you don't think offer value for money, good service etc as good places should do better than poor ones. Indeed there's nothing wrong with not using services that you just don't want to use. As long as you don't expect them to be there when you do want them that is.
I had this discussion with a bloke from my cycling club recently. He was moaning about the fact that he'd had some mechanical issue and needed a part in a hurry but had discovered his local bike shop had closed. I asked him when he'd last bought anything from there and the answer was "Not for years. Too bloody expensive. I buy everything online." Might have something to do with why the shop closed...
Of course we all have our own budgets to balance and I like a good online bargain as much as the next person, but if we all shop exclusively online and take our own sandwiches and flasks everywhere we can't really complain that our town centres are dead or that we can't get a coffee at soft play on the occasion when we do fancy one or forget the flask.
Rather than berating other people for spending their money with local businesses we should probably be pleased that someone is, even if we can't afford to regularly do so ourselves. I'm sure we all spend money on things other people think are foolish because we all have different priorities but the only times I'd say something is if the person was actually asking for advice on how to save money or if they were trying to borrow from me!

I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this place before!! Thank you!

MN is full of sneery posts. Don’t deny PPs their fun. Makes you wonder what they are like in real life.

I think...if it makes you happy and you're not hurting anyone..... Go for it.

Perhaps don't share on MN where some are far too judgemental and holier than thou....or only listen to the others who tell you to do things exactly the hell you want! Much 💕 💕 💕

Go and enjoy!

Those threads always bring out the virtue seekers (MN is riddled with them) who love to scold other posters for being profligate wastrels who buy coffee at the garden centre instead of bringing their own in a flask. (Who actually does that in real life? Nobody. You'd be told to leave).

MN is absolutely full of people who can't wait to tell everyone else what they're doing wrong. Especially if it involves spending money (a sin! Repent! Repent!).

I remember mentioning i buy meal deals for lunch when im at work-i work a physical job and meal deals work for me-i walk past a sainsburys or tesco on my way there

A poster seemed to take it personally and ripped me to bits for daring to buy lunch out

I know what shifts im working,so I budget for my lunches and I hate sweaty cheese sandwiches (which is as far as my imagination takes me with homemade sandwiches) or a limp homemade salad and a bag of crisps

They ripped into me so badly,I asked my dp,ds and mil if I was being unreasonable to spend my own money on lunch

God knows why me spending £3:50 (its gone up slightly since) upset her so much but it did

And often an open sewer.

Given the behaviour of many people on many threads, Reddit and MN are not so very different when it comes to toxic environments

It's 12°C, breezy with light showers here - perfect flask and sandwiches on a bench weather! 🤣

Thanks for posting, @coulditbeme2323. We’d agree that name-calling is likely to fall foul of our guidelines, so please do report posts like that to us when you spot them.

Posters are very welcome to hold passionate opinions about expensive beef wellingtons and cheesecakes - but we do ask that they stop short of insulting each other over it.

I had a comment deleted once for referring to someone as a fool. I got a bit carried away because they were pissing me off with their ableist views. It is seen as a personal attack (even if it’s completely true, which of course it was🤣) But I do think calling someone a fool or an idiot because of what they like to spend their money on is unnecessary. I reckon it’s ok to THINK it though!

"fool" is hardly a terrible insult. "idiot" is a bit worse but also hardly massively offensive.

I agree, but it's rude. People wouldn't do it in real life.

I mean doesn’t it depend on the plane? I love aircraft food.. on a scheduled flight. I can make my choice before I fly and sometimes you even get a proper menu. But do I want an EasyJet/Ryanair plastic reheated something that costs a fortune? No I don’t; I’d rather buy a meal deal airside and take it on the plane.
And, for full disclosure, I love EasyJet (and like Ryanair) and use them regularly, just don’t want their food.

There's quite a bullying mentality on MN - it feels like a toxic girls' school with terrifying prefects who love nothing more than ganging up together to bring other women down. It's got worse since the site became known for its gender-critical views. I avoid any of those threads - if you're not totally bought into the hive mind group-think, you'll be bullied off them anyway. It's a shame though - it's becoming less of a fun place to be. Everyone seems angry and hostile. And/or horrifically patronising.

Yes. A very sensible thing to do rather than pay over the odds for a soggy, reheated toastie and a can of pop.

Totally agree. I am regularly horrified by how nasty people are on here, sometimes the simplest thread can descend into chaos! It puts me off posting anything at all. 😂

I remember that thread and some posters were jawdropping in their lack of empathy. I hope you are navigating your way through things, finding consolation and being kind to yourself x