Am I being too stingy with pocket money?

[Helenmum3]

DD is primary age and we give her £80 a month. I was with friends with similar age kids at the weekend and each of them give their own kids a higher amount.

We aren’t particularly well off, certainly not ‘Mumsnet rich’ but I’d say we are fairly average earners for this day and age. I earn about £50,000, DH nearer &75,000 with bonuses.

I thought £80 was fair personally?

She'll need want triple that by the time she starts secondary school! Maybe then that's too little 🤣🤣

I think that's way too much for a child in primary school. I would think £10 a week is more than enough for a child who can't really go out on their own.

I don't know what YABU represents Vs YANBU so no vote but you are definitely being unreasonable because £80pm is way, way too much pocket money IMO, at any age, let alone primary. Quite gobsmackingly high!

My 14 year old gets £20 a week.

I put YABU. That is way more than what my kids get! Mine get £10/month..

Wtf! My primary age 11 year old dd gets £10 a month.

That’s a wild amount of money for a primary aged child to have in her control!

My 17 yo gets £12.50 per week (so around £50-55 per month)
My 12 yo gets £5 per week (so £20+ per month)

The disparity is because the 17 buys a lot of her clothes from hers, and pays for a lot of her social stuff, from her pocket money, plus what she earns babysitting. She does a few chores around the house such as clearing the dishwasher.

Edit - I meant she babysits for other families, but I do also pay her to babysit her brother from time to time if I need that.

The 12 gets his literally as pocket money for just random kids stuff - but £2 of it is contingent on doing his chores as he’s less reliable to do them without prompting.

I don’t give any
My mum gives them £5 a week (was £1 as a toddler then increased with age) but we just get them things as and when
We did write down what our teen daughter costs us recently as she is always “needing” a new concealer, mascara etc etc and has her brands she prefers which aren’t always just basic Rimmel etc (obv I pay for hygiene items..) and also she will message to ask for £5-£20 here and there for drinks, snacks and takeaways etc so we did consider giving her the ££ instead but I know what would happen- her dad hates saying no so once it was spent he-would end up getting it for her as well on top so we just don’t think it works for us

our teen son on the other hand rarely asks for anything and still has most of his pocket money in his wallet as is a home body. If he does ask it will be a £70 Xbox game though which we usually agree to as it balances out between them both

in answer to your question though I think £80 for a primary aged child is more than enough tbh

My DS18 gets £100 a month

we pay for haircuts, all toiletries, clothing and other bits and bobs

Quite mine gets £60 and that includes petrol money. She can get a job if she needs more. £80 in primary is bonkers unless she is expected to pay for her own days out, toiletries etc

My 8yo gets a fiver a week which he has to earn. He has recently taken up a new sport which I have had to buy equipment for so the fiver now goes towards his coaching each week. If there is no coaching he gets the fiver.

For context I am a single parent earning c£38k as a midwife. If you think you aren't well off you are in cloud cuckoo land!

I voted YANBU as you are not being remotely stingy, but honestly, I think YABU to give that much unless the child is paying for her own lunches or something. I'd expect most of that to go into savings.

I think that’s fine. £20 a week. Everything is so expensive now if you can afford it why not?

What’s it for exactly?!

Way too much, my 17yo gets £80 a month!

My daughter is in year 5 and no children get pocket money yet and £80 is an awful lot!

It doesn't really matter "how you'd describe" yourself as, the FACTS are that you are not "average earners" by any sense of the word "average" - your household income is (approximately) in the top 3% of the UK!
Your household's income : Where do you fit in? | Institute for Fiscal Studies

You clearly have very wealthy friends, which is skewing your perception of what normal is, both in terms of pocket money and finances generally/

My 13 year old gets £7 a week! 80 is well above average for his friend-group.

More than my 15 year olds gets. DD gets £40 pcm. Though we do pay £6 for her sim on top. She doesn’t pay for any meals though. We cover that separately.

Crikey that's a huge amount of money for primary age children. However, given that you describe yourselves as 'fairly average earners' with a joint income of £125k I'd say your judgement is pretty far off the mark!
Our 11yr old gets £5 per week but has to empty/load the dishwasher

Are you counting eg adding money to ISAs? That makes more sense. If not what on earth does she buy?

Wow! I give my 10 years old £3/week to do his chores , homework, use his manners etc... £80 is way too much imo.
I'd rather put the amount you've mentioned into a savings account for the child.

£80??!!!!

madness. Ours is £5 per week

£10 a week my Y9 teenager gets! We pay for his gym, phone, Spotify, boxing and school lunches and bus fare on top of that so he does very well out of it. £80 a month in primary school is rather excessive in my opinion

My two are primary age and do not recieve any pocket money. Obviously they get the odd bit from family to spend and birthday money. I just buy what is needed for them.