Am I being too stingy with pocket money?

[Helenmum3]

DD is primary age and we give her £80 a month. I was with friends with similar age kids at the weekend and each of them give their own kids a higher amount.

We aren’t particularly well off, certainly not ‘Mumsnet rich’ but I’d say we are fairly average earners for this day and age. I earn about £50,000, DH nearer &75,000 with bonuses.

I thought £80 was fair personally?

You wouldn’t describe yourselves as well off? Your husband’s salary alone is MORE than my husband and I’s combined salary. - and neither of us are on minimum wage. Your salary is higher than either of us earn. You’ve been told you’re in the top 5% of UK earners and don’t consider yourself well off? Imagine how goady you must sound to the other 95% of earners, especially those on minimum wage.

My 14 year old gets £5 a week plus his phone bill paid. We pay for any clothes etc needed, his pocket money is for anything extra he wants to buy. I have a shared hobby with him so I buy him anything associated with that.

I live in the UK but am not from here and must admit - people who give their kids £2/3 per week (month?!!) are incredibly stingy. You cannot buy anything for that amount.

Don’t worry about the people who are flabbergasted and are saying your child will be spoilt. I am in the minority, but I think £80 is fine if you can afford it. You can teach her how to save money. My parents were always very generous with money and I’ve always massively appreciated them and have never been a spoilt child (there’s much more to raising your child to be a decent human being btw). I had savings as a kid and was actually quite frugal and could buy and contribute to bigger presents.

I think its a lot for a primary school child, but if it works for you, you can afford it and she spends it sensibly I don’t see a problem.

If she isn’t spending it all maybe get her to save some if you aren’t already.

I am so intrigued to know what a primary school kiddie is spending £80 a month on! 👀

Depends on how old (primary school could mean 5 or 11). There is a case for an 11 year old to have £80 a month but have to budget gifts for friends and non essential clothes out of that.

My DC are 9 and 7 and get £5 a week so £20 a month. That’s for toys, magazines etc

I’ve got 10 and 8 year olds and don’t give them any pocket money.

I give them money if there’s a school trip or school disco or they go out somewhere with someone else, but it’s driven by the event, rather than just being a certain day of the week.

£20 a week is far to much money for a primary school child imho

What chores does she do in return ? I’d be expecting her to do my laundry , cook all my meals and put up a new garden fence for that!

I meant to add that of course it depends on what it is agreed the pocket money will cover. My daughter now buys little birthday and Christmas presents for her friends and immediate family members and any beauty bits she wants between birthdays etc.

It’s a lot but I don’t think that’s a bad thing if they are using it to decide a budget.

After all, you can’t give them £2 a week and expect them to buy clothes, music, snacks and so on from that.

We do $1 for every year of age per week, so my 7 year old gets $7 per week, the 3 year old $3 etc. But they have to complete their chores to get the money.

Me too! 😮 What on earth does she buy with that amount?!

that’s so much money. I won’t be giving more than £10 a week when they’re teenagers (with opportunities to earn more. I think it skews kids perception of the value of money if it just appears in large quantities

That’s insane. Thats more than I spend on myself each month.

No, i think this poster is just trying to point how out of touch some people are with the majority of earners in the UK

My 10 yo relative gets £10 a week and I thought that was a lot!! What are they spending their pocket money on???

Yup. Mine would have 16 packets of Pokémon cards!

That’s very generous for pocket money. My DC get £10 each a week. They’re 16 & 12. I buy all of their clothes and whatever else they need so that’s just for spending on shite essentially.

It's immaterial how you describe yourself- you are better off than 95% of the population.

But I think what PP was asking is, for example, when you take her to a friend's birthday party, does she buy the gift from her pocket money? For £80 a month I would say that I'd expect the child to be buying most of their own clothes (except for uniform, winter coats, shoes, that sort of thing), any non-essential toiletries, paying for their own food if they go out with friends etc.

I think it's too much money to be frittering away on sweets and toys every week.

So, you're in the top 5% of UK incomes just to be clear.

With a household after tax income of £2351 per week, you have a higher income than around 96%
Your household's income : Where do you fit in? | Institute for Fiscal Studies

I’m surprised at the incredulity of some posters tbh

I definitely spend more than £80 on my five year old a month in terms of clothes, toys, treats like ice cream etc (outside of the food shop) presents for his friends (parties) and so on.

I can quite see how you might say to an eleven year old ‘ok, here is £80 a month but once it’s gone it’s gone.’ Sort of thing.

I ( didn't read) what your DD does to ah... earn, that amount of money, I thought the post was not genuine, but maybe this is how the other half lives?
You expect her to buy you birthday and Xmas presents with it.

Wow, how parents have changed, when it used to be presents to parents were chosen with love and care, or made with the same, using what money and or creativity the DC posessed or had saved from their allowances, not expensive presents, what parents expect that?

I guess lots must these days by the sound of it.
I have to say, although I must be the one that is being unreasonable here and now, that you YABU, OP.

I give my 16, almost 17 year old dd £70 a month. But this includes clothing allowance and travel money. At 10 she got £15 a month

Its not about being bitter its about you thinking your average earners. When clearly you're not