Am I being too stingy with pocket money?

[Helenmum3]

DD is primary age and we give her £80 a month. I was with friends with similar age kids at the weekend and each of them give their own kids a higher amount.

We aren’t particularly well off, certainly not ‘Mumsnet rich’ but I’d say we are fairly average earners for this day and age. I earn about £50,000, DH nearer &75,000 with bonuses.

I thought £80 was fair personally?

My 14 year old gets £10 per week. Though currently stopped due to it all getting squandered on sweets within a day or so 🙈 we pay for phone, hobbies etc

WTF we don’t give our teenagers anywhere near that! We’re comfortable so nothing to do with affordability.
What is a primary school child spending £20 per week on??

So what does she buy with it @Helenmum3

sweets. Mags ? Toys ?

DS10 doesn't get anything. I pay for a subscription for him and the odd thing he asks for here and there and put monthly in his trust fund. What on earth would a primary aged child need £80 for? This post cant be real.

Also. Another poster said they give their 18 Yr old £50. What? Whats going on?

We already contribute to a JISA separately which we don’t quite max out, but put a decent amount in.

That sounds like a lot of money unless she also has to pay for her own activities and /or clothes.
What does she spend £80 a month on?

80 is plenty. My kids get 20. I earn less than you though. Not stingy at all.

Is this a joke 😂 yes it’s a lot for a primary school aged kid of course it is

Statistically, average UK salary is around the 35k mark - so you and DH are both good earners and therefore probably giving your LO more pocket money than most!

My DD got €70 a month at 11 but had to buy all her own clothes and sports equipment. I pay travel and telephones.

DD2 got all her clothes for DD1 so only got €35.

Read the entitlement trap and then make some adjustments to your way of thinking. It’s a bit American but there is some very useful bits to it.

There is literally nothing good that can come of giving a primary school child that much money without other goals such as savings or having responsibility to pay for their own things with it.

So if you earned more you would give more ? Thats a crazy amount - my DD is 14 and gets £30 a month which I may well increase this year ( she’s just turned 14). It’s not about my earnings but about her needs and the degree of autonomy I want her to have. I would still buy tickets for events like the cinema etc so this is just frittering money. She has a little savings pot and “ shopping “ pot that she saves some each month so I feel she’s learning sensible habits. If she had £80 I wouldn’t be able to move for plastic tat from Ali express and expensive cosmetics

This is absolute nuts. What does the child spend it on!?

and you are well off. Whether your outgoing are too high- that’s another story….

Is your DD at private school, OP? Are the friends who give more pocket money other parents of private school children?

I don't have anything like your household income (divorced so single-income household), but I have friends who probably earn similar to you and I don't think any of them are giving that level of pocket money. DC all in state schools, too. I can't imagine what a child of that age could spend it on.

Even if she's buying clothes, I can't get my head around that. I don't have £80 a month to spend on clothes myself!

Mine got a token amount in late primary school.

DC1 (17) gets £30 per month pocket money from me. XH doesn't give anything and XH and I split the cost of mobile phone, gym membership and another sport.

DC2 (14) gets £20 per month. Also nothing from XH, and XH and I share the cost of mobile phone and a weekly club.

XH doesn't believe in pocket money, apparently. Unclear how he expects them to have any kind of social life.

I give them a little extra in school holidays, when they are more likely to meet friends for a coffee or chips or something. And I offer to use my various loyalty rewards to cover cinema tickets.

They also often get money for Christmas and birthdays now, as they don't tend to want much stuff. Both are managing to save.

My 12 year old gets £40 a month

My 16 and 18 year old get £5 a week each, but we pay for everything they NEED and their phones each month.

Weve also saved 100 each a month for them since birth, for uni if they decide to go (eldest is planning to, 16 yo not yet sure) or for car/house deposit.

We also pay half of driving lessons and bought a 10 year old car for the oldest, which will then pass onto the youngest to learn when oldest goes to uni, and we'll pay half of his driving lessons too.

18 year old in y13 also has a part time job which they use to fund any stuff they want clothes, makeup, gifts for friends, plus half contribution to driving lessons.

I think its good to give them only a nominal amount of pocket money so they learn they need to save for fun things (youngest spends his mostly on games!) and recognise the need to earn money if they want more expensive or frivolous things.

They have a good lifestyle and never go without anything they actually need, have always had opportunites for extra curriculur activities and trips we pay for, and they do get plenty of treats too! Ive always tried to get the balance right for teaching them the value of money from a young age, without denying them arbitrarily.

Each to their own, I think!

DS is 9.5 and gets nothing.
DD is 6 and gets nothing.

We live in an affluent area, I don't think anyone gives a lot of pocket money, they just buy what their child needs. My DC aren't allowed to buy lots of sweets.

This must be a wind up - if not it’s as goady as f*

How much?!?!????)

Sure