For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

haha - wow - I’m not sure I belong on MN!

However, I’m Usually on politics threads and this is so much more fun lol.

My DH sleeps naked. My Dad did. I know men in work who've mentioned they do, can't remember how that came up. Anyway it's pretty normal.

If he won’t wear pants it’s unlikely he will wear an onsuit in bed - I presume that’s a onesie?

@Em111110 its difficult when you have different sleeping preferences to someone you share a bed with.
If it’s suddenly a new behaviour I would ask that he wears pants as naked sleeping is not what you signed up for, plus teenage daughter etc.
However, I cannot understate the joy of having your own bed.

How dirty are some of you getting into bed?! Or are bedsheets never washed?!

That's OK. Your expertise is welcomed here.
What do you think politicians wear in bed?
It's either got to be full gimp suits OR wincyette pyjamas/ nighties, hasn't it? No other option as far as I'm concerned.

Oh dear lord. I’m crying here!
I sleep naked and tonight I’m going to have to see if it’s possible to ‘rub flaps’ on the sheet.
I suspect as a menopausal middle aged woman with a bit of a tummy it’s going to be a challenge!

Duplicate

They’re not but probably no point explaining physics if you think that.

So you wear full length pyjamas every night and wash them, and all of your day clothes, coat, scarf, hat, gloves in winter every single day? You must be very wealthy to afford all the utility costs!

I’m a Boomer and I’ve always slept naked. As did my late husband. I’d be more put off by a bloke wearing naff PJs than naked. 😳

If you shower before bed, as I always do, why would it be unhygienic?

Not an unreasonable request in some circumstances, but YABU to ask for the reasons you have given. Your daughter is old enough to knock and wait, and not just walk into your room unannounced. He shouldn't walk around naked, even if its just to get a drink, so pyjama bottoms or dressing gown for those occasions - or keep water by the bed. DH can shower before bed if dirt is your issue. Everything else sounds like control tbh, and perhaps there are deeper issues for you to unpick.

I sometimes sleep naked. We have three boys, all of whom have seen me naked. They will breeze into my bedroom and carry on a conversation with me regardless of my state of dress. They afford themselves much more privacy 🙄

I don’t see anything wrong with the naked form. Nor do I see much wrong with a 11 year old catching a glimpse of her dad’s backside as he gets a drink of water in the night.

It's fine for him to sleep naked but it's not ok for him to wander the house naked when theres children about. Tell him to pop some underpants and a dressing gown on when going to the bathroom or getting a drink.

That’s your experience, that would have made me very uncomfortable and most boys once teenagers would not want to see their mum naked, things happen and it’s no big deal if a mistake but I don’t think it’s weird for people to not want to see their parents naked

As a child who would have been uncomfortable seeing her father naked - if the 11 year old says she doesn't want her dad roaming the house naked...what then?

I do wonder how a child is supposed to say she feels uncomfortable seeing her father naked, if her parents have the attitude that she's being a silly prude.

My partner is gorgeous and we sleep naked every night. In fact, if one of us goes to bed with clothes on we both think something must be up!

Work nights, school nights, adult fun time, sickness and health we love it. It brings us closer, makes us feel connected and close.

Sweat, tears, cold cuddles in the winter and everything in between.

I would never ever describe my partner the way you have. I always try to make them feel as comfortable, loved and completely confident in their body image in and out of the bed.

And yes, we have three young children and they are educated and respectful enough to always knock on the door and respect personal boundaries.

Your post sounds like something is clearly broken in your relationship and the respect has gone - and that’s something best worked on away from here.

You would seriously leave a partner over this? And you're calling other people bonkers?? Bloody hell.

I imagine it’s “en-suite”.

I couldn't agree more. When I reached a certain age as a kid I told my parents I'd prefer not to see them walking around with no clothes on and I wanted privacy for myself as well. Tbf they complied, but as very 'let it all hang out' people themselves they also laughed at me and for a good while after that I was referred to as 'their little prude'. It's all very well and good people saying a child will let their parents know if they want them to cover up - sometimes they might not feel they can. Particularly not in a family where there's a lot of teasing in the mix.

Haha - I am loving this thread! I have no expertise on politicians as they have generally stayed out of my bed thank goodness! - however, to imagine them naked anywhere can be used to take away their 'power'.

I expect gimp suits are in play in far more politicians' beds than we'd probably like. Do we need to know? We do know what they drink, where they go on holiday and what they do there, and regardless of colour preference I am sure that the Mail would go hell for leather on say Rayner if she were indeed indulging in 'leather' nightly.

I'd probably need to resort to a brain bleach jab if we got to know most politicians' bedwear, again regardless of party colour ha!

You should both have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your own bedroom and your partner should not be made to feel that his naked body is dirty. YABVU.

We need a diagram. How does one rub their anus and flaps on the sheets?

I love sleeping naked, ans does my DH. Absolutely hate pj’s. But I don’t think he should be wandering around the house starkers with an almost teenage dd around.
You can ask that he showers in the evenings and/or that he washes the bedsheets more frequently. (We always have an end of day shower so being naked in bed doesn’t feel yuk!).

Over not wanting the person they are supposed to love and supposed to be physically attracted to sleep naked because it ‘gives you the ilk’ and wanting control of what they wear in bed isn’t an ideal situation though.

I’d rather be in a relationship with someone who didn’t mind what I wore in any situation, never mind in bed and I’d rather be in a relationship with someone who didn’t find my body repulsive but if that’s not something that matters to you, then that’s great. We all have different standards.

^^ This

Jeez. No offence but a lot of you are being quite dim today.

Let's touch base-pardon the pun-and look at the problem here again:

How do I rub my butthole and flaps on the sheets?

You're all making the assumption that only you can move!!

No. You take the sheet from the four corners of the bed then take the sheet in hand and place it next to butthole and flaps and rub vigorously.

You're welcome.