For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

All this nonsense about arses, balls, sweat and farts in the bed…they’re in the bed regardless of whether they’re inside shorts or not.

I wouldn’t care as long as he chucked something on when leaving the bedroom to protect DD’s eyes

You'd know about it if your partner was on certain meds (Metformin springs to mind - don't ask me how I know! 😣)

He could wash the sheets twice a week if he’s super filthy. Farting, sweating, oils etc.

It’s weird to actually get up for a drink. He needs to keep a water bottle at the bedside instead of disturbing you. He’ll need to get up if he needs a piss obviously. Is he diabetic?

On the other hand, farts and sweat isn’t harmful to you.

Lots of men sleep naked. My DH has always slept naked. I’ve been with him decades.

It’s fine for an 11yo girl to see her father naked if he’s just going to the bog. My dc are adult (boy/girl) but both have seen me and DH naked from time to time. I come in from gardening in a mess and strip off straight into the washer. 18yo might say what the fuck you lost all your clothes. DH does the same with gym kit. I don’t think it’s abnormal.

It’s got nothing to do with how attractive her husband is. OP finds it’s inappropriate for her preteen and having a naked body in the sheets all night every night.

We all have different relationships - I’m lucky enough to have been happily together with my husband for almost 20years. As I say, the key to success in my eyes is compromise and give and take. Not one person doing what they want, despite the wishes of the person they’re sharing their bed with.

No, a compromise would be ‘can you stick some pants on when you get up for a wee’ if she’s that worried about her daughter seeing a glimpse of a human body.
In this situation, a compromise is most definitely not asking him to sleep with clothing on when he has specially said he doesn’t want to.
And I’m also lucky enough to have been married for a smidge less than 20 years!

YABU. My DH & I have always slept naked . It’s never been an issue as we put robes on if we leave the room and our DC knew never to enter without knocking
Get the personal hygiene up to scratch - the sweating & farting would be an issue for me PJs or not.

See I can’t imagine having to compromise on what I or a partner wear in bed - it’s baffling - you’ve probably had at least 10 years pre this learning how you sleep best and that’s ok. I understand compromise if there’s some sort of rear end explosion or incontinence happening regularly or snoring but otherwise so what - sleep how you sleep best surely.

You are clearly nose blind then to your own smell.

I suggest it smells more than you think it does

Do women have vastly different digestive systems, or just eat different foods? If anything you’d imagine women would fart more as there’s more metabolic activity and less space in the abdomen.

It's not really good for your bits, to sleep with underwear or pj bottoms on. Air needs to circulate around your nether regions at night. He can always fling on a dressing gown to go to the toilet in.
Yabu.

If a man can’t be naked in his own damn house, where can he be?! You’re absolutely being unreasonable. None of your reasons are valid here. Would you like it if he told you not to wear what you’re comfortable in to bed?

If he farts or sweats naked, you must burn all the bedding. Probably the bed too

I think if he's the one sleeping naked he's responsible for changing the bed linen frequently enough for that to be ok. It's arguably a waste of water / energy to be washing a sheet and duvet cover every couple of days vs. washing bed linen less frequently and just washing daily pants. But if he's that much more comfortable naked and getting better sleep maybe that's a good use of energy.

Separate beds / bedrooms is worth considering - if he's been too hot, getting a whole bed to himself might help even more than being naked. And you get to have boundaries about what's acceptable in your bed - you don't have to share with a naked person if you'd rather not.

Reasonable dads don't want to make their nearly teenage daughters uncomfortable. Has he not recognised her as adolescent yet? So yes, he needs a dressing gown/ pants to wonder the house.

My husband sleeps naked. I thought modt adults did. I love wearing pyjamas. You can't really ask him to wear stuff in bed if he finds it uncomfortable but he should put pants on to go to bathroom, as my husband found out recently when we had visitors....
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No I do not think it is normal to be naked - I hate it - even when I had a lovely young body which I was proud of. Suppose I am just modest.

I honestly had no idea so many people had such a problem with nakedness and bodily secretions! Eye opener!

How do you all manage to have normal adult relationships with such hang ups?!

At 11 years old?!?!?!

Pyjamas are what you wear around the house before you get in bed, NAKED ALL THE WAY!

Even when my kids were little, they'd come in unwell or something, I'd chuck on a T and some knickers and back to sleep we'd go!

He can do as he likes as long as it doesvt impact on others. He could be more considerate of your views and mindful of daughter. However if he insists on sleeping naked then he must wear a robe or clothing to go to bathroom re your daughter abd if you don’t like him naked sleeping then you can put down own boundaries- get your own bed / get twin beds / sleep in different room. Also you can I did it he changes his own sheets

I really don’t understand the concept of putting on clothes specifically to sleep in. I wear pyjamas round the house in the evening if I’ve been to shower, but I couldn’t possibly wear anything in bed to sleep in. Far too hot, and surely anything you wear must get all twisted and tangled as you naturally move around during sleep?

Your post says no more answers from you.

Getting up in the night needing the toilet may be a sign he is pre diabetic. He needs urgently to get checked out by your Doctor.

A diabetic person cannot control their body temperature themselves.

Where do you have sex?

And do scrub things down after?

No. Just weird.

Realistically, the entire house.

I don't think my husband has slept in anything she has was about 15! God help him if he ever had to go into hospital!

When the kids were small if they came in they came in, we never hid our bodies. if he went to the loo then he might put a pair of shorts on as they got older.