For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

Sweaty bollocks YABU

You might not have minded catching an eyeful when you were 11, but that's not to say other kids that age wouldn't, or shouldn't, mind. And, more importantly, they shouldn't have to have their feelings on this invalidated by being told 'it's normal', 'it's natural' etc if they would simply prefer not to see. Nothing to do with so-called pearl clutching.

I can’t sleep in any clothes. I’ve tried. I’m a poor sleeper anyway (as OP mentions her partner is).

And most of the western world doesn’t collate nudity with sex. Mostly just British and American. Whole swathes of Europe are fine with nudity. And they certainly don’t see it as grooming.

I grew up in one of aforementioned European countries. I saw loads of fannies and willies at my local swimming pool getting changed. And sometimes on beaches.

I also saw my own parents naked at 11. Not doing th hoovering, but walking about upstairs. I can’t remember how I felt about it, it was just normal.

As the age old phrase goes… we don’t always get what we want.

Marriage is about compromise and if OP feels it’s best for the whole family for him to wear pants, then he should. It’s not a hardship to stick a pair of boxers on. He wore them until recently so clearly he can.

I am sure that (unfortunately) quite a lot of people don't like the sight of their partner naked. There are enough threads about that on here and I've heard enough from other sources. Not saying It's ideal of course! A lot of people are with their partners for reasons other than loving what their naked body looks like.

‘Best for the whole family’ doesn’t count when he’s in his own bed at night, so of course he can be naked in his own bed. The compromise would be not walking around the house naked.

Yeah that’s not how I’d conduct my marriage, but you do you. I’d never even consider telling my husband that he couldn’t sleep in a way that made him feel comfortable, same as I wouldn’t expect him to do it to me. But then, I don’t find my husband’s naked body disgusting so I’m already in a better position relationship-wise than op…

How “sweaty and farty” is he, OP? Doesn’t sound normal. Have you got the ick? @Em111110

Ok well I’ve come to bed.
I can confirm there’s not any worry of any flap rubbing on the sheets in this house.
I’ve been trying for 10 mins so I gave a good go but I suspect at least 50% of the time was spent laughing rather than attempting.
Oh well. Onwards and upwards!

This thread continues to be hilarious but now includes insane OTT concerns too!

I do wonder where these sexually appearing, virile, testosteroned up men are in the middle of the night - asking for a friend - apparently they’ve only ever had just a bedraggled, tired, clearly unsexed up bod shuffling its way to the loo.

Anyway, I’ve just caught up as I can’t be bothered yet to go get my hose down and new hazmat suit on before entering my bedroom. I do live alone but have to protect my sheets - plus I have skylights and I may traumatise the local pigeons if I’m not always aware and careful to fully cover up.

Just ask him to have a dressing gown to hand by the side of the bed?

Enjoying a few evening drinks tonight?

Seems a perfectly reasonable response to a largely batshit thread.

I don’t disagree, but my question was genuine, they sound drunk to me 🤷‍♀️

They don’t to me. Just a light hearted response to some very silly posts.

This may be TMI but seems in keeping with the spirit this thread has evolved:

Getting in to bed at night, virtually everyone will either have just had a bath/shower, or at least have had a bit of a wipe after going to the loo.

How 'juicy' would you have to be down there for it to be leaking out on the sheets 5 minutes later when you sit on the edge of the bed for a few seconds while getting in to bed? It just seems... unlikely.

I mean, if you prefer pristine sheets at all times that is your prerogative , but it seems OTT to suggest anyone sleeping naked in the same sheets for more than a couple of nights is some kind of minger.

Skylights open or closed ?

I ask because I notice there is no mention of mosquitos in this thread. If I slept with a window open, I would need a hazmat suit cos of the wee blighters.

In fact, thinking about it, I might start sleeping with gloves on. There is a bit on my knuckles they seem to feast on. And a bite there is bloody sore for some reason.

Goodness me.

Don't you notice how many of these threads seem to split ? Some posters go the fun side, while other do the "serious stuff". In this case the serious stuff is hilarious to read too.

Are you really finding none of this thread amusing ?

Thank you! I was not drunk - I have had no alcoholic drink at all since Saturday - although as the pub refused to sell in thimbleful amounts I might have had a few then - maybe that was very dangerous for my future health and posts on MN this week, who knows ha, but it was fun - sober I’m getting my laughs here!

I’m clearly too debauched for MN I know!

My humour isn’t always so clear, but honestly I can’t even recognise the OTT concerns re a guy staggering to the bathroom in the night and the rest of it - bits of you touching the sheets well hahaha.

I thought these type of threads had gone - so pleased to find one again lol.

You’re always updating me on important stuff thank you - I had not considered mozzies! On reflection actually think it’s best to cover fully, though not just for the bites, but as any bare flesh, including hands, is rather concerning as to intention and probably quite scary for any living being that may catch sight.

I will be more careful tonight - thanks again lol

God, I assumed most adults went to bed naked, I think, if my partner, always wore PJ’s, it would be really off putting, and if they expected me to wear something, I’d feel the same.

I am, and my post was light hearted too, as that posters post barely made sense so I figured maybe they’d had a few drinks! Clearly suggesting someone might have had some wine at 10pm is offensive on here now 😱

Nothing wrong with your humour, it just sounded a bit merry, adults do sometimes drink alcohol in the evenings and then post on mumsnet you know! Particularly on threads like this

Haha - I make no sense sober as well as drunk unfortunately- my sense of humour missed the spot - not that unusual tbh. I’m definitely not offended that people think I may drink wine - it’s yet another thing where I don’t align with MN thinking lol.

Thank you for the explanation of the first post though - appreciated- originally I did think you might have been pointing out my MN failings as to not recognising safeguarding concerns in a roundabout way.

I too tried every possible position in bed last night and at no point did my flaps, or indeed any part of my fanny, make contact with the bed. I also conducted in-depth analysis on my husbands arsehole - that too was independent, at all times, from both the quilt and the bottom sheet.