For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

It would be helpful if you responded to what I've actually said, instead of what you make up.

I too would leave a partner if he tried policing what I wear.
Without a doubt.

You actually said this. You equated nudity to grooming, called it inappropriate and then speculated that men would be leching.

You just called any culture that isn't yours inappropriate, grooming, not above board, blurring boundaries and leching. Those are highly emotive terms linked to sexual abuse, and yet, there you are, casually using them to dismiss anyone who isn't in the small corner of the world where we're afraid of unclothed bodies.

But this isn't just about what the husband wears. It's also about what the daughter may end up having to see. It's broader than just 'policing' someone's clothing choices or lack thereof.

Nope. I said: In most western cultures, nudity may not be solely sexual, but it is highly correlated with being sexual, and it's obtuse to dismiss that.

I also pointed out that sexual abusers will groom children to be comfortable at times, in order to highlight that a child's level of comfort isn't necessarily indicative of anything.

And yes. Considering the behaviour of men in the general population, it's silly to think that no men will be predators who get gratification from nudity.

I’m struggling to see why he can’t wear boxers. YANBU.

I’m picturing someone scooting down the bedsheet like a dog scratching it’s arse…
Can’t imagine how else you’d do it?

You’d leave your husband if he asked you to wear knickers in bed? No wonder divorce rates are as high as they are.

So weird that ‘reporting’ would even enter your head.

I am just imagining the post in Relationships....

I have recently started sleeping naked as I am perimenopausal and it is much more comfortable. I didn't ask DH permission as, well, it's my body!

Tonight I discovered he went on a men's subforum on Reddit and made a long post about how he found my body vile, and described me farting and leaking period blood. He wanted advice from other men on whether he could start specifying what I wear to bed, and that I should stay covered up at all times. He also heavily implied I was being inappropriate to our Y6 son if I had to nip quickly to the loo to change a tampon when flooding.

Aibu to think it is not okay for me to dictate what I wear in my own and also that he should not be mocking me online to other men? The post has had over 1000+ engagements and I feel so humiliated.

What do you want him to wear in bed, OP?

Surely at 11 she would've been taught not to just barge in without knocking. And same for adults entering her bedroom

If he's only nude in the bedroom why would the daughter see anything?

Because he doesn’t want to.

End up having to see?! Jesus.

It’s a human body that she might catch a glimpse of as he wanders down the landing to the loo, only if she just so happens to be up and awake at the same time as her dad.
He’s not prancing around the living room, helicoptering his penis on a Sunday morning.

Because OP said he gets up in the night and doesn't put anything on.

Irrelevant. Would you have wanted to catch an accidental glimpse of a parent letting it all hang out when you were 11? Maybe you wouldn't have minded, but that doesn't mean to say other kids that age don't.

Oh needs a saring or robe then to leave bedroom

Please don’t mention dogs and arses on beds, It’ll start a whole new “unhygienic” rant….

It wouldn’t have been something I’d have liked to have seen. But it’s just a body. And I can look away. The level of pearl clutching going on because a man is waking to the loo naked in the middle of the night when the rest of the house is asleep, is absolutely insane.

That's quite an image you've painted. 😂

I do like to properly set a scene…

Seems to be that any mild discomfort is now the same as a traumatic experience to go to any lengths to shield children from. I think some PPs may find it a bit harder to keep up with when their children are teenagers and everything they say, do, and wear is a cause of massive discomfort and embarrassment.

Well of course you would think that.

Well mumsnet would have you believe adults are buying them to cut about the supermarket in 😂