To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

In the absence of additional needs or disability, allowing your children to become obese is neglect at the very best take

I have recently stopped buying sugary snacks and crisps as my teenage daughter in particular would just raid the snack cupboard and could eat a whole pack of biscuits in one go after school, plus something sweet at lunch, a pudding after dinner… it is completely my fault as she has coeliac disease so I have intended to kept her well stocked up on snacks so she’s not missing out or missing her old faves that she can’t have anymore so I def enabled her, been more permissive about what she can have due to guilt and tell myself it’s ok as she does sports… (the only silver lining is not takeaways as most contain gluten!) But she has now noticeably put on weight.

since not buying snacks, I have been making some healthy granola bars as snacks, and even though it was always on offer she will now have more fruit, Greek yoghurt and granola, carrot sticks and hummus with no complaints as there is nothing else in the house. Much cheaper too!!

I aim to get back to a treat being a ‘treat’ and not a daily /multiple times a day occurrence.

Sorry, I understand what you mean. 👍

I agree too many posts have been about 'why people are fat' in the last few pages rather than childhood obesity in general, it needs to stay focused on the topic.

I do agree with this. As I said upthread, I can understand the lure of deliberately very enjoyable UPFs when life is hard but a lot of healthy meals can be made in a fairly basic way. And if a child doesn't eat much UPF young they're unlikely to crave it in the same way.

My understanding (will find some evidence later) is that the rise in obesity is caused by the combination of epigenetic and environmental factors.

So when an overweight, insulin resistant woman is pregnant, this impacts the baby’s developing endocrine system; the baby is then born via c section (no exposure to healthy microbiome) or vaginal birth (exposure to unhealthy microbiome if the mother is unhealthy) and then grows up in an unhealthy food environment, weighted heavily in favour of UPFs, so the problems compound, and compound again over generations.

It’s not just one factor, it’s all of them. And it’s not “genetic” in the sense of eye or hair colour, but rather that the way genes are expressed are impacted by the uterine and then human environment. This explains why there has been such a rapid rise in obesity over the last few decades - that couldn’t be explained solely by rise in UPFs, or “fat genes” or portion sizes.

If someone is predisposed to gain weight more quickly that means they need to work harder to keep it off. But it should not mean that they/we don’t bother trying. It’s more important than ever to try to break the cycle for future generations.

Ive got PCOS and that means it’s harder for me to lose weight than people without. I crave sugar more than people without. I had gestational diabetes in my second pregnancy, even though I’ve never been overweight in my life, and that in turn means that the child from that pregnancy is more likely than my other child to have issues with insulin resistance, and potentially a predisposition to weight gain/PCOS/type 2 diabetes. However it’s not a given, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that we both remain healthy, by eating well and exercising.

Neither of these things necessarily require money but they definitely require time and a desire to prioritise it, which not everyone has.

Id also add that one of the most insidious things about UPFs is how often they are literally labelled the “healthy choice” - eg zero sugar or zero fat (stuffed with additives and artificial sweeteners), high protein (full of sugar). So I don’t think we can assume that everyone really does know the difference between healthy and unhealthy food.

And here lies a huge issue in humanity in general.

Thanks, this explains it very well: it's not about an increase in genes per but a more complex issue.

You sound like a great mum - I have family members with PCOS and I know it's a difficult thing to deal with.. I also agree that food advertising makes a good diet more confusing.. Even the NHS advice isn't very clear, as pp said.

Agreed

This

Good post

This is definitely part of it. In some cases,,too large plate sizes, too.

This

No...

This bit : 'Experts say the ration diet was the best, just enough of everything'. I doubt she's advocating rations, more like small but adequate portion sizes. When food is plentiful people tend too eat too much often.

And thus bit : ' If it's genetics, when did they kick in! Look at the pictures from the Concentration Camps, Japanese POW. one meal of rice and water as day.'

She's not advocating a POW diet, but pointing out they were average UK men, on the same paltry diet, all thin. Thus genetics is unlikely to be the main reason for rising obesity.

This is a bit awkward but I wonder if in some cases people say this is the main reason to avoid the suggestion that it may be an IQ issue not a class issue.

I do NOT think IQ is the main reason for the increase, but I do wonder if in some case, parents (of any class) who feed their children a poor enough diet for them to become obese have low IQ and aren't able to comprehend what an appropriate diet would be. Lower IQ often also correlates with lower impulse control. Otoh, stress and exh

In some cases also, there may be cycles of generational neglect and maybe abuse: which impacts knowing about stuff like appropriate diet. Otoh, stress and exhaustion also affect impulse control & they've increased which doesn't help...

This

When you say : 'My point is that many of us were raised eating junk and therefore think it's acceptable, it isn't but then you have to accept that your parents did this to you and that's very, very hard. ' - which generation do you mean? Gen X? Millennials?

can see that if a family is struggling to provide fun things to do for their children (where I am all the free parkland estates are now charging £5 plus to park, swimming as a family is £15 minimum, even catching the bus 2 children and an adult to the museum would be £8 (and over 15’s are charged full adult fare in my area), traditional days out are completely unaffordable and I say that as a 45% taxpayer) then food can become the treat - a bag of doughnuts is still cheaper than you could make them yourself and that can cause terrible food relationships.
When I go to the park, less kids have scooters and bikes - again presumably too expensive for families that are struggling. People need budget for fun in their lives.

• definitely this.

There is a huge amount of learnt behaviour in why people overeat.

So much so I won’t have my parent in laws look after my 13 month old. I had seen over the course of years how they fed my step children, the youngest of whom was sick because they’d eaten so much junk food, on a number of occasions.

My husband has spoken to them about food re his older children but I simply will not expose my baby to that.

He overeats and will over portion unless it is pointed out. But I can mitigate that, in my own home. It is all learned behaviour from his parents though. My step children’s diets are better now.

@Seymorbutts totally agree - I think an awful lot comes from a general can’t be arsed attitude - it’s not only the kids eating poorly, it’s more than likely the parents too - we lived next door to a relatively middle class family at one point and couldn’t get over the 4 timesaxweek pizza deliveries, mum only worked a couple of days a week but they seemed to live on take away pizza and I never ever smelt cooking So it def wasn’t a money issue or a poverty issue or an education issue . They also managed to block all the bloody drains by just throwing wet wipes down them and we ended up paying as they refused to pay up to get the water company to sort it -

Whatever generation this happened to you. I don't think it's fully generational. If your parents fed you junk that you now see as genuine food then you fit.

Yes I can see how it could be a low IQ issue. Many ‘well-meaning’ middle class people probably attribute it to working class people because they assume w/c people have lower IQs. It’s possible some especially stupid people just don’t know any better and if they were raised in the same way they’re just going to do what they’re parents did without much deeper thought about it

My parents didn’t feed me a very good diet. I recognise this though, and try my best to feed my children a healthy diet.
I don’t get this ‘our parents did it so we think it’s normal and carry on doing it’ theory. Throughout my life I’ve read a lot of things, met a lot of different people, experienced a lot of things that have shown me that my parents’ way of doing this wasn’t the only way or the best way. Surely that’s the same for a lot of people, unless they never experience the world outside of their home?
Even as a child I recognised that it wasn’t particularly normal, as I’d go to friend’s houses for tea and be fed vegetables and stuff! Instead of just things like findus crispy pancakes and chips. By about 14 I was cooking for myself and the family so I could add some variety and nutrition into our diets.

What son?

I said my grandchildrens mum, why are you jumping to the conclusion that the mother of my grandchildren is my DIL?

I think it is 99% ignorance and distortion of what is seen as normal.

I was criticised by my extended family for keeping sweets and crisps as sometimes foods. They said I was being too strict and not relaxed and that my children wouldn’t grow properly. Their kids would get ice cream, full bags of sweets, mini rolls etc as usual - every time they went to the playground, every lunchtime, every after school snack. They all now have serious weight problems. But that wasn’t due to neglect or malice - it was due to unhealthy food being seen as the normal everyday choice.

can we stop with this genetic predisposition to being obese stuff? BMI is a range for a reason - to account for different genetic makeups that are present in different ethnicities and communities. If you’re obese by the BMI range for your particular ethnic group, you’re obese. If your genetic makeup predisposes you to weight gain or a less skinny body type, you should be at the upper end of a healthy BMI, not beyond it.