To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

It just seems a wasted opportunity to look at how it could be resolved as just saying its the parents fault doesnt seem to have resolved it. It seems to have got worse off anything.

It is fine to let of stream, but it seems rather fruitless

90% of chat on here is probably fruitless. It’s a discussion forum, not YouGov.

A lot of people with an higher level education or professional qualifications will tend to make well intended excuses for those who may not be as knowledgeable or who the think may not be as aware as them.
"How dare you think that poor people don't care about their children's
'how dare you think that everyone can afford vegetables and fruit when processed shite is cheaper'
"How dare you think parents should not allow children to eat whatever they want - they'll cry otherwise"

It is clear in other areas too. " Of course the (religious/cultural group) will riot, fight if you don't give them certain powers"
"Of course (Insert developing country) should get..... they are not as developed as us".

Infantilisation.

Not true at all. Yes, they lose weight, but not at the rate or volume of others.

Two people, same height and weight, same activity levels, eating the exact same foods will lose weight at different speeds and plateau at different levels due to their genetics.

It's not saying genetic predisposition to obesity means people can't lose weight, just that they won't do so in the same way/ speed/ ease as others.

But equally we would be blind if we didn’t take context in to account! We don’t all live in a separate bubble removed from outside influences! And those elements are: readily available cheaper highly processed food which is designed to be addictive, many fast food outlets with many fast food delivery options, long working hours, poor government regulation of supermarkets which has led to local small farms being brought to their knees and underpaid
for locally farmed healthy fresh produce, etc. Successive governments have allowed commercial interests and profits to prevail over the nation’s health.

Some people may be more disposed to being overweight due to not getting signals from their brain that they've had enough as strongly as most people do. Could this maybe be a possibility...?

And let’s not ignore the housing crisis which means that many families do not have secure accommodation or separate kitchen spaces. It is certainly not right to judge. You don’t know what stresses people are under. Poor mh being another.

This! I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and when all of this was doing the rounds last year I was really surprised by how many people actually use the pouches as a regular part of weaning a baby. If nothing else it must end up being ridiculously expensive. £1.10 for 1 pouch of Ella’s Kitchen carrot which would be literally 1 “meal”, or a bag of carrots from Asda 69p and you could probably make 20 portions of carrot puree from that if you wanted to!

Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate pouches as a concept, I can see where they could be useful as a last minute quick option the same way chicken nuggets are for an older child but I was shocked to see how many people were using them for every meal.

It does show different people’s views though. I’ve never really done separate meals for my daughter she has always just had the same as us (obviously prepared in an age appropriate safe way), started weaning my son 2 weeks ago doing the same with him and the amount of comments we have had about him having whole pieces of broccoli, strips of steak, strips of omelette etc have been crazy. I don’t think anybody would have commented if they saw me feed him from a pouch instead😂

The genetic disposition means that their hormone systems make them feel - more hungry, crave fattier or sugarier foods, feel hungry again more quickly, need more to feel full, have faster digestive motility, less reactive insulin production etc.

It doesn’t mean they can’t lose weight and has never meant that. It means it’s harder for them to do so.

Yes, education is important, but also making it a priority. I often spend 30-40 mins prepping food once the DC are down in bed, so that dinner can be on the table once we walk in the door. Anything from cutting and marinading chicken to throw in the air fryer, chopping and steaming veg so that I just have to heat it up in the microwave, cooking rice so that it just needs to be microwaved, making a pasta sauce so that all I have to do it cook the pasta, creating a 'dump and cook' bag of meat and veg for the slow cooker etc. I listen to a podcast and make it as enjoyable as possible, but it's not exactly 'fun'. But I see it as a necessary part of ensuring that the family eats well, and we are organised with our meals. DH will be prepping the lunchboxes next to me while I do that.

I wonder how much of that is also ingrained in my from my upbringing. My parents did the same (prepping meals, doing lunchboxes etc.) for me growing up, and I see it as part of the normal daily duties of parents. We always had a prepped fridge full of healthy snacks and things to heat up. I started doing my own food at around age 12-13, so also learnt from a young age. I think that if you didn't grow up with that, you will have a lot more work in teaching yourself good habits. I've started making 'overnight weetabix' with yoghurt, berries, and nuts with my oldest DS who is 7, to teach him how to prep a healthy breakfast.

I take the exact opposite conclusion - it seems to me the fact that obesity can be medicated successfully supports there being underlying genetic problems in some people.

Do you think the fact that blood pressure or thyroid issues can be fixed with medication means they can't be genetic? I am not being snarky I genuinely can't follow your logic here.

My kids just eat what we make. No fuss about it. Some of my DC are pescatarian, but eat whatever we make.
I know they don't like every single dish, but they eat it because it's what mum's made for dinner. They know it's healthy and nutritious. They might not like the "feel" of it. But they eat it. If I ask them to take a serving of greens they do it without hesitation.

'The genetic disposition means that their hormone systems make them feel - more hungry, crave fattier or sugarier foods, feel hungry again more quickly'

Do people think those who are healthy don't feel hungry, don't fancy cake and never crave another slice?!! It isnt hornones it is just hunger pangs plain and simple. We need to stop this enabling and agree we all feel hungry but some control it otherwise we'd all be obese.

I feel a bit hungry now, nothing to do with hormones. I'll have a coffee to be going on with not half a cake followed by a packet of biscuits. Folk say it's the cost of living crisis, so how on earth do some afford the massive amounts they consume?

Indeed - that is how I myself put weight on - not through eating shit and snacks, but eating too big portions , especially in evenings - I now cut it to roughly what a single M&S ready meal looks like ( with homemade meals) and add broccoli, green beans or side salad, and whilst I don’t lose quickly at 64 , ( A year to lose just over2 stone) I’m not gaining !

I do agree, I’m afraid good old fashioned will power has to come into play at times. I think many people feel they have to feel ‘full’ and it tends to be an excess of carbs that give that feeling , a ton of protein will also give that feeling but is a lot more expensive to keep that up and I say this as someone who has lost weight without WLI and with a couple of stone still to go.

100%, it is so easily done. Too big portions & the attitude lots of parents used to have (maybe they still do, I don’t know) of “you have to clear your plate” leads to obesity just as quickly as eating a freezer tea every night. We went to my aunt’s for lunch a few weeks ago and she had made a lovely tuna pasta bake with loads of veggies in, home made sauce, a home made garlic bread, absolutely lovely and actually a really good healthy balanced meal- but the portions she served were so big they were easily 1000 calories and that is just how she has always been, she eats those portions, her kids have always eaten those portions. You would never find any of them having had chicken nuggets or burgers for tea, their meals are all healthy balanced meals and all home cooked- spag bol, chilli, roast dinners, casseroles, currys, she is a brilliant cook, but too much of any food will still lead to weight gain.

Well some people don't feel hungry much, they're the ones that forget to eat or see food only as fuel. The people with small appetites, the ones who can't gain weight despite trying to force themselves to eat.

Having PCOS and some hormonal contraception increases appetite and usually cause weight gain because no one can battle a voracious appetite forever. Insulin resistance causes extreme hunger and that's an endocrine condition that is fairly common and is caused by many things, PCOS being one of them. If you're absolutely starving all the time it's just not possible to control yourself and deny yourself food forever. When my PCOS was well treated and I was given Metformin and estrogen to balance out my hormone levels I suddenly dropped 4 stone without even trying because I was STARVING ALL THE TIME anymore, suddenly I could beat a meal and be full and not her hungry again until the next meal time like everyone else. It was liberating.

It's just not true that we all feel the same amount of hunger. And of course it's not true that every fatty thinks healthier people never feel hunger 🙄

They don't stay fat because they are being staved. But they survive longer and take longer to starve on the same amount of food as people who don't have fat genes. Famine survivors and their ancestors have fat genes as seen by their obese offspring many generations on.

Yes, I'm pretty sure DD2 was 99th centile or off the charts for height and similar for weight for some of her early life but was always long and a beanpole! Now at 17 she's about 5'10" and 150lbs, BMI 21, and always came up in the middle of the healthy weight range when it was ever officially checked.

There is an NHS BMI tool specifically for under 18s now. https://www.nhs.uk/health-assessment-tools/calculate-your-body-mass-index/calculate-bmi-for-children-teenagers

Very sensible plan..

This is definitely true : I think that if you didn't grow up with that, you will have a lot more work in teaching yourself good habits

I always got the kids helping with things in an age appropriate way from a young age. Not all the time obviously as some nights you just want dinner on the table quickly. Making pizza is a good one. I mean yes that isn't the most balanced food in itself but it's certainly less processed if you make it at home. DDs used to like things like chopping herbs with scissors in a bowl (so their little fingers are well away). They would always eat carrot and cucumber sticks even if they objected to some green veg. There was a toddler ready meal "Pasta with cheese, peas and broccoli trees" that they liked so I made my own version of it from scratch- that got broccoli down them.

Mumsnet microwave chocolate mug cakes had a lot of answer for when they were little too. Eventually I would only allow them at the weekend as they would bounce off the walls after one of those!

SleeplessInWhever, I am saying how we ate in the 50s was different, the correct amount of nutritional food,there wasn't snacking. There wasnt bottles of sugary drinks. We walked everywhere, even the phone box was a walk to the village. Late F cycled 30 miles a day to and from work. Time poor,DM didn't have a washing machine, neither did I until years later. We went out to work. We worked harder in the house. I had a Bissel carpet sweeper. I was married 6 years,2 dks before I had my first vacuum cleaner..and washing machine.

I think this is more common than people realise when actually eating well and making a lot of good home cook meals - when I actually first weighed some dried spaghetti or rice I realised I was having at least times and a half possibly closer to 2 than the recommended for 1 and yes thinking about it my meals were much closer size to a ready meal for 2 - a very slim French person I know told me that’s why a common French women habit is eating a modest side salad before a main as it tricks your brain into thinking you’ve had more than you’ve actually had !

There are plenty of professionals who are educated and obese. Many are health professionals too, it’s convenient and food addiction imo.
My GP is really overweight as is her DH.
A lot of the nurses are overweight.

I'm overweight myself and not judgemental of other people's bodies, especially not children. Although, I have wondered what a day's worth of food looks like for an obese child. Only because I can't fathom the amount of food I would have to feed ds for him to get obese, at 10 he can eat a LOT and not gain weight.