Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

Sounds like he married her for the free labour, generosity made no one rich.

The majority of our food is cooked from scratch too. We share the cooking.

I have no desire to be the 'chief' cook.

@WeeksJa I'm appalled by your post that you withheld sex because he'd not made much effort with the meal.

That places you as a woman who agrees to sex if a man has made an effort.

That's the same as a man thinking if he's made a 3 course meal or taken you to the Ritz or a 3* Michelin restaurant, he has a right to sex as a reward.

And as women we all know how foul that is as an attitude.

Yours is the same, in reverse.

Maybe she’s hangry.

😄😆😄

I’ll make clear I’d want a fourth course too 😅

Call me transactional but I would not want to f-ck a guy who promises a home cooked meal and surprises me with microwaved curry, total turn off.

I’m assuming people realise by now that this thread is a complete wind up! OP needs to get out more and find something better to do with her time!

Sounds like OP already had her sights on the gym guy anyway so was looking for a reason to bin off current guy.

Current guy's inability to mind read that home-cooked means home-made in OP's world is apparently a red flag, something that reasonable people only use about potential abusive behaviours in partners, not the fact they didn't cook a meal to a certain standard.

Weird goady thread.

Yes

😂
My money’s on troll.

Where are the posts that say anything along the lines of "dh can't cook but he's loaded"

Yes absolutely - it has to pass German standards for food - much higher than ours!

You’re clearly not compatible so probably for the best you ended it.

My bar is very high I’d say, but I’ll join the ranks saying you might miss out on a great man just because they can’t cook. Food was not high on my husband’s agenda when I met him either, but he was otherwise entirely competent and well domesticated and a genuinely wonderful human being. Food just wasn’t that important to him. I love to cook from scratch and bake. So we play to our strengths. I cook, he cleans up after. Suits me! He also does all the laundry, puts effort into planning dates and trips, does all the pet care, all the gardening, cleans the bathrooms, looks after the kids, pays the bills…
Not everyone is good at everything. But if it’s a compromise you’re not willing to make or it’s indicative of someone’s wider attitude to life or willingness to make effort then absolutely sack it off.

You should have made it clear from the start that you wanted a man that can change cook from scratch.

😂😂😂

Ah, I knew ££ would come into it 😂

If he'd said to OP that he'd rustle something up, she wouldn't have been disappointed. But to say he's "cooking" and then basically warms up shop bought food? That's not cooking. That's being able to use a microwave.

He was setting the OP up for disappointment from the get go.

I suspect you're motivated by money and status far more than anyone else on this thread. I mean, if it turns out gym boy earns minimum wage and only shops in Lidl you'll still date him?

Course you will...

Maybe try brushing your teeth in the morning then?

Could also explain why you’re single….🤷‍♀️😂

It isn’t a poor effort! We still live in a society where men are not taught/encouraged to cook. He may have limited cooking skills.Even in schools you’d be hard pressed to give pupils the opportunities to make the sort of recipes . This man showed creativity in choosing a mix of current trends. I think you’re being really harsh and agree with others, let him free.

I was just thinking that! I've been married 25 years this year and have cooked for him once , probably about 28 years ago - blue dragon chinese packet sauce, not sure what I did with it, chicken perhaps. Oh I tell a lie I made Christmas lunch one year when he was on duty, all marks prepared stuff though. He likes cooking , I don't. There must be more to this, it can't just be the cooking. Or is it a worry when it's a bloke and not when it's a woman that doesn't cook?

You’re the one complaining about him shopping at Lidl 🤷‍♀️

Did he cook it? At home?
Ah, you were expecting 3 courses all made from scratch?
Maybe he's just not that into you.