To think almost every woman in the world has suffered some form of sexual harassment by age 30?

[Fearlesssloth]

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. She claims never to have experienced any kind of sexual harassment at all. She’s 37, grew up in the UK, has lived a normal life. I just don’t believe her. Never been groped, never had a sexual remark made to or about her, never felt threatened by a man trying to chat her up, not even a wolf whistle apparently! In her words, “it must be because I’m so ugly”! Still, I find it hard to believe any woman could get to 37 and escape any kind of sexual harassment. So I’m wondering, AIBU? Has anyone on here never experienced any kind of sexual harassment? I’m a similar age to my friend, and I’m lucky in that I haven’t experienced anything really serious, but all the smaller things do add up and give me the rage at men and their sense of entitlement. When I was about 13 and in my school uniform, a man started touching himself on the seat on the train next to me, another man showed me his erection through his trousers on another train, lots of wolf whistles and sexual comments shouted at me while in school uniform (which is just so gross 🤮 ) this was early 2000s. Anyone know if this stuff still happens a lot to school girls? When I was 16 a man I was giving directions to on the street randomly groped my boob. Worst part about it though was that I instinctively slapped him (which got rid of him sharpish) and my friends acted like I was the unreasonable one, ‘why was I acting crazy’, I ‘need to chill out’ etc. which reinforced the idea that women just have to put up with this stuff. Other times I’ve been cornered by men, pinned to the wall, forcibly kissed, had my bum grabbed SO many times, I caught a man filming me once while I was getting changed in what I thought was a private area. What women have to put up with gives me the absolute rage. I just hope that it’s at least better now than it used to be. I wouldn’t really know cos I’m married and rarely in the drunken kind of situations anymore that a lot of these situations occurred in. I haven’t been wolf-whistled at or harassed in the street for a really long time, but that may be because I’m late 30s and it’s all the school girls that are having to put up with it…So tell me about all your experiences of sexual harassment over the years. And if you are that rare person, like my friend whose never been harassed, tell me why you think that is

This. Very sad it still continues now.

Or by 20, even.

I’ve told my girls that all rules of politeness end with men they don’t know. And there is no reason that any decent adult male would approach a teenage girl or young woman for any sort of assistance. Any unknown man speaking to them needs to be treated with extreme caution and rudeness.

@Fearlesssloth

There was a similar thread a while ago and one post has stayed with me, it was a woman who said, I have never been sexually assaulted, I did have a boyfriend try to have sex with me when I was asleep, I don't know what you would call that?

I said I would call it attempted rape because that is what it was.

Does not apply if they are visibly injured in front of you dd2 assisted an elderly man who fell and cut his head the other day obviously that’s different

I have conceded, after being quite vigorously attacked, that I am wrong about what I originally said. I have no idea why I haven't been hassled, and it is pointless to think about it. I was trying to answer the question in the original OP: 'And if you are that rare person, like my friend who's never been harassed, tell me why you think that is'. My speculation really angered people, so I apologised.

I never meant to victim blame.

I actually was very upset when I was young because men didn't seem to recognise me as female. I had no boys or men harass me which was great, but I also never had any boy or man want to go on a date or flirt with me, which was upsetting by the time I got to age 24. I have to conclude that these things are unrelated. I was not harassed because I was lucky not to meet harassers, and I had no interest from reasonable men because there was something repulsive about me.

It was almost normalised when I was a teenager in the 70s. The white van man was definitely a thing! I've had all these sorts of things happen to me...I'm appalled you had this in the 2000s as I honestly thought men knew better by then! I sincerely hope things are better these days!

They are not. They are worse. Sorry to say.

100% agree. If any woman has got to 30 (or even 25) and never been sexually harassed, catcalled, or sexually assaulted, she is very fortunate. Happened to me when I was 15 the first time. (Groped and pushed against the wall by a 43 year old man, then grabbed and pushed around and sexually assaulted.) He told me if I told anyone, they would't believe me and he'd tell everyone I am just a little slag, who was happy to go aong with it.

Sexual harrassment and catcalls didn't stop til I hit my mid 40s. (And on several more occasions, sexual assaults.) One of the best things about getting older (in my mid 50s now) is not being harassed by men.

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Me, I've no idea why.

As a man, I’ve experienced my fair share of what would be considered harassment especially from older women on nights out and in workplaces.

But also from sleazy men.

However, I’m a man and capable of handling myself. It’s different in that I’m unlikely to be seriously harmed.

It’s a scary world out there and I’ve no idea why some men cannot contain themselves. Reading some of these stories is gut wrenching.

There’s zero excuse for it. Somehow I manage to go about my day without shouting obscenities at teenage boys minding their own business 🙄.

39 and nope, never experienced any kind of harrasment.
I am ugly as hell though, always been so that’s the reason for me. I’m suprised that if so many women have so many horrible situations they still want a male partner, seem like such an unnessary risk…. Like don’t get me wrong, I’ve been heart broken up of how much (well only thing) looks matter and know men are shallow beyond words, but I’ve never been nervous or scared because of them.